Need for rest

 

I have experienced an unusual need for rest over the last few years, following many years of being very active.

This shift is connected with what some would label chronic fatigue and a dark night of the soul. And, yes, I realize that those labels can be helpful for communication and navigating what’s happening, and they may also be limiting and stressful if taken as too solid and real.

Why this need for rest? There may be several answers.

(a) The body & mind is exhausted and needs rest to recover. This exhaustion may be due to previous years of high energies, both in form of kundalini and in a more everyday sense. And also living with and relating to what was unloved and unexamined in me…. being stressed by it, setting it aside, wrestling with it.

(b) It’s a time for healing. A time for being with myself, for loving and examining the unloved and unexamined. It’s a retreat. It’s nature’s way of ensuring I get time and opportunity to do this, since I didn’t chose retreat on my own.

(c) It’s an invitation for natural rest. For allowing what’s here as it is, allowing this field of experience as it is here & now. And finding myself as that which already allows it, and is it, this field of experience as it is in immediacy. Perhaps first in through rest in a conventional sense, and then living this also in activity.

(d) It may also be related to identifications. (i) As mentioned above, identifications themselves can be tiring. They can lead to stress, unease, struggle and more. (ii) Also, there may be a sense that rest – and perhaps fatigue, isolation – is safer than being active and exposed in the world. Rest becomes a form of protection. An attempt to protect the imagined self. (iii) There may also be beliefs about the fatigue itself and what it means, which can solidify or amplify the sense of fatigue and need for rest.

How can I support the recovery process?

(a) I can give my system the rest it seems to need, especially through plenty of sleep.

(b) I can find love for the unloved in me, and examine the unexamined.

(c) I can become more familiar with natural rest, also in activity.

(d) I can find love for the protection, and also examine the identifications around it. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for your love for me.

And there may also be another element here. In my case, it seems that fatigue came – at least partly – from me not following my guidance on a significant and lasting life decision. I felt off track. Lost. And that may well bring fatigue. In a sense, it’s life’s way of slowing me down so I can bring attention to what’s happening, and find my way back again to what feels more deeply right for me. Finding my way back to following my guidance and my knowing, in smaller things in everyday life, and also in larger life decisions.

 

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notes…..

– why need for rest?
– (a) body exhausted, perhaps due to kundalini (high energies) and (b) (what’s unloved/unexamined)
– (b) healing, retreat, time with oneself, loving/examining the unloved/unexamined
– (c) natural rest, allowing what’s here as is, finding oneself as that which already allows it + is it
– (d) may also be from beliefs, velcro + finding safety in rest/retreat (part of b) – meet with love/curiosity

– fatigue – thank you for protecting me, thank you for your love for me (saying this, in presence, love, taking time with it, allowing it to sink in)

– (d) identifications (i) tiring in themselves, (ii) rest as protection, (iii) beliefs about fatigue etc. (turmoil + makes it seems more solid, real)

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– rest – perceived/real need for rest
– body needing rest
– mind needing rest – time to heal, find confidence again, new direction, following guidance,
– rest in another sense, allowing the field of experience as is, also in midst of activity (notice it’s already allowed)

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(d) It may also come from identifications. There may be a sense that rest – and perhaps fatigue, isolation – is safer than being active and exposed in the world. Rest becomes a form of protection. There may also be beliefs about the fatigue itself and what it means, and that can also become a form of protection. And, as mentioned under a., identifications themselves are tiring.

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