In working with my own healing, and also with clients, I see a common pattern.
Some things seem too scary to want to work on.
So it’s tempting to choose something that’s less scary and yet seems helpful.
Why does it seem so scary?
It’s partly out of wise caution. I know that going into traumas may retraumatize me if it’s not done skillfully, in the right setting, and perhaps with the right person. It may retrigger the trauma without much or any healing.
It’s partly because when I first experienced the situation and created beliefs about it, it was traumatizing. So I expect, or am afraid, that will happen again.
What I can do is look at these fears and then evaluate if I have found the right tools and support for me to enter these traumas with the intention of finding healing. Using the living inquiries, we often initially approach strong traumas indirectly. We look at the fears in facing them. The deficient selves that come up when we consider facing the traumas, and perhaps when we consider the initially traumatizing situations themselves. We can also look at commands to either face the traumas, or avoid the traumas (both are often there).