It seems to be quite common to feel “not enough”.
And it may be behind a wide range of compulsive and seeking behavior, including (compulsively) seeking love, relationships, money, status, safety, respect, approval, and even Enlightenment. (Which, in some of our minds, is perhaps the ultimate approval from life or the Universe!).
The flavor of “not enough” may be different in each of these cases, but they are variations of not-enoughness.
And it’s true. If we don’t recognize the wholeness of who we are, if we are not meeting our experience with love and kindness, if we don’t recognize what we are, we are – in our own experience – not quite enough. We suspect and feel that something is missing. And that’s true, in a way.
It’s missing because we are not noticing it, and not more consciously living from it.
What’s the remedy? Here are some I have explored:
Heart centered practices. (a) Finding kindness for these parts of me – the not enoughness, the seeking. Finding love for it, perhaps through loving kindness, ho’oponopono, or tonglen. (b) Seeing that these parts of me wish to protect me, they come from deep caring, they come from love. (Even if they seem confused, or in pain.)
Living Inquiry. See if I can find “not enough”, or what’s missing. Can I find it, outside of words, images, and sensations?
Is it true that what’s missing – whatever it is – is not already here? Is it true that love is not already here? Peace? Wholeness? (Adyashanti.)
After doing this – finding love for these parts of me, and perhaps seeing how these experiences are created, and finding what’s missing here – I can still work on healing, clarifying, accomplishing etc., but now from a more peaceful place.
And if the neediness, or compulsiveness, comes, that’s OK too. There is nothing wrong with it. It’s very natural. It’s part of being human. I can notice. Allow. Welcome. Rest with it. Perhaps ask simple questions about it, so I can see more clearly what’s really there.
– not enough
– seems to be quite common, at least in our culture
– is true, if don’t recognize the wholeness of who we are + what we are
– ho’o, loving kindness, tonglen
– look for not enough, what’s missing, see if can find it (LI)
– is it true that what’s missing is not already here? (Adya)
– can still work on healing, clarifying, accomplish etc. but from a more peaceful place, less needy, less about being enough, less about trying to fill a hole in us