Deficient and inflated selves

 

Deficient and inflated selves often seem to go hand in hand.

For instance, I take myself to be inferior to others. I see myself as less than. There is a deficient self here.

At the same time, there is an inflated self, one that’s better than others. A superior self. This too is created in a similar way. It’s the twin or mirror image of the inferior self.

In inquiry, it’s good to look at both.

Can I find a threat?

What do I fear will happen if the self sticks around?

What do I fear will happen if it goes away?

Can I find X? The deficient self? The inflated self?

Can I find X? Me, the one who is that deficient/inflated self?

What’s the first situation I can remember where I felt X? Look for the threat/self.

Is there a command to be X? Inferior? Superior?

Is there a command to not be X?

What do I find when I look at the all the associated images, words, and sensations that comes up around each of these selves?

I may first look at/for the deficient self, and when that seems unfindable and untriggerable, I can look for the corresponding inflated self. Although there are no fixed rules here.

Note: In a more conventional view, we can say that the inflated self is created to compensate for and balance out the deficient self. That may be true in some ways, and we may even see something about how this happens through inquiry, and yet it’s not necessary to emphasize this. All we need to do is to look at both sides of the polarity and see what we find.

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Initial draft…..

Deficient and inflated selves often seem to go hand in hand.

For instance, I take myself to be inferior to others. I see myself as less than. There is a deficient self here.

It comes with a charge, which can also be called a belief (believing the stories creating this identity), velcro (sensations stuck on associated images and words making up this identity), or identification (mind identifying with the viewpoint of these stories, and taking itself to at least partly be that).

It’s from unquestioned stories, and it’s unloved, which is why it’s still here and has a charge. It comes from unquestioned and unloved fear, it comes from an attempt to protect the self, and it comes from deep caring, and even love – although a worried and somewhat confused love. It was most likely created early in life, from situations I found myself in then.

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Initial notes…….

– inferior and superior selves
– both a protection, from deep caring, from fear, from unquestioned stories, unloved, both with charge (belief, velcro, identification)
– fear > protection > inferior self > superior self (very roughly)
– good to look at both in injury, look at both sides of it
– the threat if isn’t there, what it protects, what it protects against, if can find

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