Destructive impulse

 

When we go into reactiveness, it can feel like a quite destructive impulse.

We may be ready to throw it all away, and act in a rash manner, whether we actually do or not.

This reactiveness is a reaction to our own pain. It comes from wishing to escape or resolve the pain through doing something, anything, including acting reactively.

It may appear misguided, immature, and even destructive. And it is, in a sense.

And yet, if that’s all we see, we are missing something essential.

We are missing the deep caring that’s behind it. The deep caring for ourselves and life. The deep love. This reactiveness is love, even if it’s confused love.

Seeing this can help us befriend the reactiveness. There may be reactiveness, but we don’t have to be reactive to it. We can recognize the deep caring behind it. It’s there to protect me. And that can give us space to relate to it more intentionally. Perhaps go to the sensation aspect of it, and feel the sensations. Notice beliefs behind it, and examine them. Rest with it. Meet it with kindness.


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Initial notes……

– destructive impulse
– throw it all away, rash, reactive
– from pain, wounds (want to resolve the pain)
– from deep caring + love

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This reactiveness comes from pain and wounds. It comes from wishing to escape or resolve the pain through doing something, anything, including acting from the reactiveness.

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