Finding safety in understanding

 

There are many flavor to how our minds turns away from feeling what’s here.

One is to try to find refuge and safety in understanding.

If I think about my understanding, I don’t have to feel this.

I can explore this in several ways:

What would I have to feel now if I didn’t think about my understanding? Feel that.

What am I afraid would happen if I didn’t go into understanding? Look for the threat.

Can I find X? Understanding? Insight?

Can I find X? Someone who understands? Someone who gets it?

Can I find the command to understand? To get it?

Here are some of the ways I use understanding – thinking about understanding something – as a way to avoid feeling what’s here:

I get caught in figuring something out. Or rehearsing an understanding, or elaborating on it, or fine-tuning it. I distract myself from feeling.

I use it to avoid shifting from thinking to noticing thoughts, since this often will lead to noticing and feeling what’s here.

I use it to avoid doing what the understanding is about. I think about my understanding of something instead of actually doing it, including dealing with things in my life, natural rest and inquiry. This helps me avoid feeling what I would have to feel if I actually did it.

There is of course absolutely nothing wrong about understanding and insight. It’s essential and beautiful. It’s what allows us to function in the world. And it’s what allows us to evolve as a species and civilization. It’s one of the ways life explores and experiences itself through us.

Even compulsively going to understanding to escape feelings is OK. It’s innocent. It comes from deep caring. It’s what the mind does when it scares itself with its own stories. And it’s not satisfying in the long run, or even in the moment.

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Initial notes……

– for some of us, finding safety in understanding is quite a habit
– it’s that way for me, even on this blog
– the mind wants to understand and come to conclusions, as a way to feel safe, to land somewhere
– look for understanding, conclusions, specific insights
– look for the one who understands, has insights,
– look for the threat in not understanding, not concluding
– what would I have to feel if I didn’t….

– understanding instead of actually doing
– understanding instead of noticing/feeling

– finding safety in understanding, or figuring it out

– same as going into any thought, getting absorbed into it…… out of unquestioned stories, unloved stories and feelings, wanting to not feel what’s here

– the mind trying to find safety from the threats created by its own scary stories
– does so by trying to not notice/feel certain things
– the mind scares itself

– mind tries to find safety in thought
– understanding is one subset, one flavor
– mind scares itself, tries to find safety from its own scary stories

 

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I may also use understanding to understand instead of actually doing, to think instead of noticing thought, and to think instead of feeling.

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Draft 2……

If I go into thought, I don’t have to feel this. 

That’s a quite common dynamic for us humans today.

And one flavor of this dynamic is going into understanding. To try to understand, or to enjoy understanding.

If I understand, I don’t have to feel this.

If I try to understand, or enjoy rehearsing or elaborating on or fine tune this understanding, I don’t have to feel this.

Some other variations:

If I understand, I’ll be safe.

If I understand, I don’t actually have to do it.

If I understand, I can think about it instead of noticing thought as thought.

And some ways to explore this:

Can I find X? Understanding? Conclusions? Insight?

Can I find me, the one who understands? Has insights?

What’s the worst that can happen if I don’t understand? Can I find the threat?

What would I have to feel now if I didn’t go into the understanding?

There is nothing wrong with understanding. Understanding is essential and wonderful. We need it to function, and we need it to orient in the world. And yet, it can become compulsive. It can be used as a way to avoid feeling the uncomfortable feelings that are here.

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Draft…..

One of the ways the mind tries to find a sense of safety is through understanding.

This blog is, in a way, an expression of that.

If I try to understand, I don’t have to feel the uncomfortable feelings that are here.

That may be the essence of this way the mind tries to find safety and

 

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Initial draft…..

One of the ways the mind tries to find a sense of safety is through understanding.

This blog is, in a way, an expression of that.

If I understand and reach conclusions, I’ll be safe. I’ll have the world nicely wrapped up and organized. I know what’s going on. I am protected by my understanding and insight.

If I understand, I don’t have to actually do it. I can write about it, think about it, talk about it, and feel good about that without actually doing it. I understand resting with what’s here, and enjoy understanding it, so I don’t have to do it. I understand inquiry, so I’ll enjoy those insights rather than actually doing inquiry.

If I understand, I can think about it instead of noticing what’s here. I can enjoy thinking about it instead of noticing thought as thought.

If I understand, I can think about these insights instead of feeling. I can go to thought instead of feeling the uncomfortable feelings that are here.

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