We sometimes get caught in desired identities and states, and use it to avoid feeling what’s here. It may be being a good person, happy, peaceful, relaxed, clear, or even insightful, enlightened, blissful, or something else. I have an idea of being happy, identify as it, and use it to not feel the discomfort that’s here. I don’t need to feel it. I am happy.
Another way to say it is I don’t need to look at what’s unhappy in me, because I am happy. It’s uncomfortable to look at, so we use this identity to avoid it.
What are some ways to explore this?
Rest with it. Feel it. (The happiness. Relaxation. Whatever is there.)
Look for the desired state. (Happiness. Relaxation. Clarity. Enlightenment.)
Look for the one who is X. (Happy. Clear. Restful. Good. Intelligent. Liked.)
What does it mean? What does it say about you? (Then take that to inquiry.)
What’s the best that can happen if you are X? If you have X? (If you are peaceful. If you have clarity.)
What do you fear would happen if you didn’t have X? (Peace. Insight. Understanding. Enlightenment. Realization. Happiness.) Look for the threat.
Where is the command to be X? Have X? Feel X?
Imagine a timeline going back from now to your birth. What is the earliest time you felt/didn’t feel X? (Do inquiry on that.)
From an email exchange w. JE, senior Living Inquiry facilitator:
Say X says “I am at peace and relaxed, nothing is coming up, there is no tension, nothing gets triggered”. I can have him:
Rest with it. Feel it. Yes
Look for peace (relaxation). Yes.
Ask what’s the best that can happen is he is at peace, relaxed (nothing is coming up, there is no tension, nothing gets triggered.) Then look at that. Yes.
See what he fears would happen if the peace/relaxation is lost (or if something is coming up, or if there is tension, or if something gets triggered). Have him look for the threat. Yes – good one.
Ask what it means. (What does it mean that you are at peace, relaxed? Nothing gets triggered?) Yes – boomerang it.
Yes, you could have him look for a self who is at peace or relaxed. Often there is identification right in that. You can also check to see if there’s a command to hold onto or keep peace.
Another way to try to trigger might be to say, ‘let’s look at a time when you didn’t feel peace’. I’ve been using a timeline lately… “imagine a timeline going back in time from now, all the way back to when you were born. Look at all the places on this timeline where you felt (X) (or didn’t feel (X)).” That will usually trigger something to look at. I typically have them go back to the first time they felt/didn’t feel it – that’s usually the ‘crystalizing moment.’ Do lots of inquiry around that memory until it’s no longer an issue, then have them look at the others that came after that. They’re usually less sticky after the first one is dealt with.