Looking at both sides of whatever has charge

 

It can be helpful to look at both sides of whatever has a charge for us.

I may fear not having what I want, and also fear having it.

I may hold onto a deficiency story, and also want it to go away.

I may be compelled to do something, and also feel ashamed about it.

I may experience a threat, and also being someone who is threatened.

Whenever there is an identification, there seems to be an ambivalence about it. I want to hold onto it, and also have it go away. I fear what may happen if it’s not there, and I am uncomfortable with what happens when it’s there.

So why not look at both sides?

Here are some specific examples.

I am compelled to eat ice cream, and also feel shame around it and wish I didn’t do it.

I am attached to the story that I am unlovable, and also wish it to go away.

I want material wealth, and also experience a threat in it.

I want intimacy, and also experience it as a threat.

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Initial notes…..

Wanting and shame, addictions, compulsions

Fear of having and not having what we want

Holding onto deficient self and wanting it to go away

 

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