What I’d like to say is this: trauma, addiction, anxiety and the host of other things people deal with have been developed over a lifetime. We are conditioned into this way of responding and relating. Sessions, by themselves, are really not enough. It takes a moment by moment looking and opening up to the perspective that one is not trying to fix his or her experience, but rather allow it, love it, explore it, without agenda. It takes time to ease into this perspective, giving our desire to fix or feel better. Most attempts to fix or feel better bring the personal will into it, which creates a cycle of the ego trying to get rid of the ego, rather than a natural resting with what is, and allowing it. This is really not directed specifically to the post by X. It is something I speak about every day at the center. I see it in many people. I saw it in myself.
We created these movements of fear, craving, deficiency over a long span of time. They don’t always come undone just from looking during sessions. What happens between sessions is really the most important thing. Let me repeat that. What happens between sessions is the most important thing. skills training is key. Skills training is noticing what one’s disposition is towards experience and learning to accept, notice, be gentle, inquire without expectation. No one wakes anyone up, in a session or otherwise. It is my responsibility to learn skillful means and use those until it becomes automatic in experience and everything begins to be allowed as it is. No one can do it for me. Those with experience can merely provide important tools. I must pick up and use those tools on my own.
– Scott Kiloby on FaceBook