Why do we sometimes hold onto suffering?
There may be many answers. Suffering comes from holding onto a painful story, and the reason we do so varies from story to story.
At the same time, it’s possible to say a few general things about it.
It comes from a wish to find safety, and from deep caring, and even love. When we look into and feel the suffering, we may also find and feel that caring and love. It can be very helpful to notice and feel this.
And there may be some general stories behind our wish to hold onto suffering.
What am I afraid would happen if I didn’t suffer?
I wouldn’t be able to function.
I would be gullible.
I wouldn’t know who I am. I wouldn’t recognize myself.
I wouldn’t get sympathy.
People wouldn’t do things for me. I wouldn’t get people to help me out.
In terms of the living inquiries, we can:
Look for the threat in not suffering. Look for the threat in suffering.
Look for the command to suffer. Look for the command to not suffer.
Look for suffering. Look for absence of suffering.
Look for someone who suffers. Look for someone who is free of suffering.
What I hope to get out of suffering? What do I hope to get out of being free from suffering? And look at that.
– attachment to suffering
– to find safety, from caring, love
– what am I afraid would happen if I didn’t suffer?
– I wouldn’t be able to function, be gullible, wouldn’t get sympathy, people wouldn’t do things for me, I would’t get people to do things for me,