When I facilitate a Living Inquiry session these days, with myself or a client, I often ask:
When did you first experience X?
When do you remember first having that feeling? Sensation?
When do you remember first feeling X? (Unlovable, not enough, better than etc.)
And I then explore that situation for a while, to see what’s there.
Very often, the velcro was initially created in childhood, as a protection. And we then continued recreating it and bringing it with us into adult life and the current situation.
We keep recreating it, because not doing so seems threatening.