It was a phone interview which was really nice because I get to sit around in my socks and stuff. [Laughs.] ‘What do you think,’ said this wonderful person interviewing me, ‘what do you think about soul mates?’ Then I tend to surprise people because I said, ‘you know, I don’t.’ ‘What’s that,’ I asked, eager to find out. ‘What is it, I don’t know, I thought you might know.’ ‘I have no idea what a soul mate is, such an idea never occurred to me.’ I mean I hear the phrase all over the place, but – Seems like another drug to me. It’s like the last bastion, right? ‘No other relationship has worked, but I’ll hold out for the final fantasy. It will be called the soul mate. It’s where I’ll stuff all my fantasies and wait for it to come.’
It’s like enlightenment, you know. ‘I’ll put all my fantasies of a better life into my concept of enlightenment, then I’ll wait for it to happen. And when it doesn’t, I’ll be really disappointed.’ [Laughs.]
– Adyashanti, Leaping Beyond All Fear, October 21, 2006, Oakland, CA.
I like how he likens those ideas – of a soul mate, enlightenment, and whatever else we put our hopes into – to a drug or a final fantasy.
It does become a drug when we invest truth and energy into it. It becomes something we crave and hold onto as a relief for our discomfort, unease, or sense of lack.
And it is, in a way, a final fantasy, a fantasy about something that will finally and perhaps forever give us what we wish for. Something we imagine exists and is not here. Or perhaps we imagine is here, and then are afraid to lose.