Finding the caring

 

I re-listened to Adyashanti’s Finding the Capacity to Heal yesterday. (Radio Adyashanti, January 28, 2015. Listen to excerpt above.)

What he talks about there is what I have found is a key for my own healing.

When I only feel and see the anger, hurt, pain, sadness, grief, fear, longing, sense of lack, then I am stuck at the level that creates the wounds and pain. And if I recognize and feel the deep caring and love behind all of this, the potential for real and deep healing is there.

It’s very helpful to shift into finding love for what’s here, including the wounds, hurt, pain, anger and so on. And it’s even more helpful when I recognize that all of these come from deep caring and love. They are there to protect me. They are an expression of caring and love. And I can feel that caring and love behind these more surface emotions. Connecting to that opens up the potential for another level of healing.

There are several ways to explore this and get a more embodied experience of it. Parts work is one. I can have a dialog with these parts of me, and see that they are there to protect me, and that impulse to protect me comes from deep caring and love. (The me that’s being protected is an image of me, which is another aspect of this and only incidental here.)

One way I have found helpful is holding satsang with these parts of me, as suggested by Pamela Wilson:

Feel the emotion. (Anger, sadness, grief, fear.)

Thank you for protecting me. (Say several times until you feel it.)

Thank you for your love for me. (Repeat many times.)

I love you. (Repeat many times.)

What would satisfy you forever? (Allow the answer to come.)

This is a form of inquiry. As I say “thank you for protecting me” it’s accompanied by several questions. Is it really protecting me? Could that be true? In what ways are it protecting me? There is a curiosity there and a gentle exploration. By repeating the words, I get to see that yes – it is really there to protect me. I find specific ways it is protecting me. And from there, it’s easier to see that it comes from deep caring and love. Which in turn makes it easier for me to find love for it. And also ask it what would satisfy it forever, and notice that the question itself seems to evoke what would satisfy it (love, allowing, acknowledgment, being listened to).

Through doing this, there is an experience of love through and through, and that noticing really needs to change. To the extent I recognize the deep care and love behind the emotions, I find that the emotions can be exactly as they are. They don’t need to change.

I can be with the emotions, feel them, and recognize them as an expression of care and love. (And there, they do tend to soften and there is more sense of spaciousness, even if they don’t need to change.)

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