Squeezed

 

When I had a private meeting with Adyashanti some years ago, he mentioned that I in the coming years would go through a phase where “what’s left will be squeezed out of you”.

That seems accurate. At least the squeezing part…..!

I know that I squeeze myself. My mind creates it’s own experience of someone being squeezed. There is a squeeze created by my remaining identifications and hangups, and the squeeze helps bring these to the surface so they can be seen and felt, sometimes struggled with, and sometimes inquired into and perhaps even held in love.

A long string of situations has triggered this for me: loss of health, relationships, friends, money, educational and work opportunities, and so on. If life wanted to squeeze what’s left out of me, it’s doing a good job.

I am not sure what I want to say here, other than sharing the experience of being squeezed.

P.S. I know this fits one of the characteristics of a dark night of the soul, used in the sense Evelyn Underhill uses the term in her book Mysticism. The other characteristics of this phase fits what I am going through as well. And I have earlier gone through the other phases, often down to the details of how she describes it. Knowing that points to some ways I can relate to my current situation that may be helpful. (Although these ways of relating to life are helpful in just about any situation.) And it’s also good to hold that particular story lightly. (Again, that goes for any story.)

 

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Initial draft….

When I met with Adyashanti a few years back, he said that I in the coming years would go through a phase where “what’s left is squeezed out of you”.

That seems accurate. At least the squeezing part.

I know that I squeeze myself. There is a squeeze created by my remaining identifications and hangups, and the squeeze helps bring these to the surface so they can be seen and felt, sometimes struggled with, and sometimes inquired into and perhaps even held in love.

A long string of situations has triggered this for me: loss of health, relationships, friends, money, educational and work opportunities, and so on.

I am not sure what I want to say here, apart from pointing out the experience of being squeezed. I know that inquiring into it, holding it in love, noticing the space it happens within and as etc. is helpful. I am not always able to do that. (Which again is something I can notice, perhaps hold in love, and notice is happening within/as space.) And it also seems to be a process that’s living its own life.

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Initial notes…..

  • met w adyashanti some years ago
  • said i would go through a phase where “what is left is squeezed out of you”
  • squeezed – squeezing myself, hangups vs how I relate to them
  • health etc.

What I have been going through fits the description of a dark night of the soul, as described by Evelyn Underhill. Putting that label on it may be helpful as a pointer for how to relate to it, and not so much otherwise.

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