Abandonment

 

Often, a current situation triggers an old wound.

For instance, we felt abandoned early in life. It felt life threatening. All encompassing. It made a deep impression. And the current situation triggers this old wound.

What we often do is to abandon the abandoned part of ourselves. We abandon the part of us that feels abandoned. We abandon the abandonment wound. We repeat the initial situation.

The remedy is to not abandon it. To be present with it. Patient. Kind towards it. As we would a scared child or animal. Presence, patience, and kindness heal. It makes this part of us feel held, supported, understood, met. It gives this part of us what it needs to relax, heal, and feel more comfortable.

There is more to say about abandonment. It helps if we can recognize it for what it is: Created by the mind. Inherently without substance. Made up by energies and imaginations. We can do this by looking at each element at a time, and take time to feel the sensations as physical sensations. That helps the mind see it for what it is and the power drains out of it.

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Initial notes……

  • abandonment
  • often current situation triggering an old wound
  • felt abandoned early in life, felt life threatening, all-encompassing, made a deep impression
  • the current situation triggers the old wound
  • what we often do is abandon the abandoned part of ourselves (the part that feels abandoned)
  • the remedy is to not abandon it

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3 thoughts on “Abandonment

  1. “Often, a current situation triggers an old wound. For instance, we felt abandoned early in life. It felt life threatening… It helps if we can recognize it for what it is: Created by the mind. Inherently without substance. Made up by energies and imaginations.”

    Yes. It has been theorised that the development of the brain (ego?) was encouraged by needing to escape from predators. Perhaps as our brains evolved it became apparent that being in groups was safer than being alone. Millenia later we are still, or even more, aware of the value of groups and it is possible that abandonment taps into a core reason for the brain to exist: to survive. Consequently when we are abandoned we may feel like we are about to die and that activates our so-called ‘intelligence’, which then starts very quickly processing ways to survive, potentially causing more anxiety. Maybe the only way to not feel that threat is to allow the brain (consciousness? ego?) to process all the survival strategies while also showing it that the threat may not be as bad or life threatening as imagined.

  2. Yes, I can relate to abandonment = fear of death. I think that may also be from infancy where abandonment in a very clear way has to do with the possibility of dying. Meeting that fear is helpful, both with presence and love, and also as you said by showing it that the situation is not as life threatening as it may seem.

  3. Yes definitely. My father left home when I was young and my mother died shortly afterwards. I have faced these feelings many times, love is the answer.

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