As we deepen into inquiry, questions sometimes spontaneously arise to meet our experience. A couple of days ago, I was inquiring into ‘wrongness’, both within me and beyond me, and the words, ‘I’m not supposed to be this’ came up, accompanied by a huge feeling of failure. Everything I was supposed to have, everything I was supposed to be, all of it failed. After feeling it all, this question came: ‘what if it were okay to be this?’
Even the question itself was a little shocking, as if I’d never entertained the possibility that being this could ever be okay. Then came the answers: well, it it were okay to be this, I’d be content. I’d relax. I’d have more fun. If it is okay to be this, then that’s been a whole song and dance about nothing.
The question has stayed with me. Yesterday, on my way to the dentist, I felt anxious. What if it were okay to be anxious? Oh….well, that kind of takes the wind out of the sails of the self and all it is supposed to do or not do in order to be or not be what it’s supposed to be. Or not.
Oh, the tangles we tie ourselves up in. And the relief and simplicity that dawns when we ask a disentangling question. We can’t know ahead of time which question will resonate most in any given moment, so keep looking and experimenting. It’s the willingness to keep looking, more than anything else, that is key.
– Fiona Robertson on FaceBook