Life will be about as hard or as soft it needs to be. It doesn’t care what it takes for you to wake up. Suffering is just a way that life registers that you are holding on to your position.
Some may hear this as some entity “life” intentionally deciding to give us a soft or hard life.
In reality, this is just built into life. Holding onto positions is inherently painful because life and reality will rub up against it. And the stronger we hold onto positions, the more painful it will be and life will be experienced as hard.
We don’t really have a choice in how we hold onto positions. Something in us holds onto positions out of a desire to protect us, and out of unquestioned and unloved fear. It’s innocent. It’s automatic. It’s often inherited from our ancestors through biology and culture. And it can soften through meeting that fear, and the innocent wish for protection, in presence, kindness, patience, and gentle curiosity.
Here, waking up may mean a few different things. (a) Waking up to the positions we hold onto. (b) Waking up to how holding onto positions creates suffering, and comes from innocence. (c) Waking up to what we are – the presence it’s all happening within and as – when these positions soften and there is more space for presence to notice itself.