As the video above, and the book it’s based on, reminds us:
It can be helpful to explore how we create what we want less of in our lives.
If I want to be more miserable, what would I do? Here is my list, right now.
Sleep. Make sure to consistently not get enough sleep, or sleep way too much. Make sure it’s consistenly irregular.
Diet. Eat a good deal of dairy, sugar, wheat. Eat mostly refined and processed foods. If you notice you crave something, then eat lots of it. (Craving = a sign that your body reacts to it.)
Physical activities. Find ways to move as little as possible. Drive instead of walking. Stay indoors as much as you can. Avoid nature.
Thoughts. Believe stressful thoughts. Indulge in them. Never question them. Treat them as true and unquestionable. Seek out more stressful thoughts. Let them amplify each other.
Social. Spend a lot of time alone, isolated. OR spend time with people who focus on what doesn’t work, who believes and reinforces your own stressful thoughts, who is unable to be present with you, who wants you to change (for their own sake). Set other’s needs before your own. Make those around you miserable. (Complain, be ungrateful.)
Situations. Stay in situations that doesn’t work for you, that feels wrong at a deep level. Grin and bear it or complain instead of doing something to change it.
Attention. Put attention on distractions. Put attention on things that are urgent but not important. On news and drama. Train attention to be scattered.
Activities. Set diffuse goals, and impossible goals. Don’t break goals into doable steps. Always wait until you feel like doing it do actually do it instead of scheduling. Tell yourself that whatever you do isn’t enough or won’t work. Let small setbacks or discomforts mean that you should give it up. Complain instead of making a change.
Why does this exploration work?
It helps me examine what doesn’t work, and how this comes about.
It makes it easier to recognize when I do it.
It makes it more into a “thing” which helps me relate to it more intentionally. These dynamics are seen more as an object and are less identified with.
- how to be miserable
- irregular sleep, not enough / too much
- poor diet – refined, processed, wheat/dairy/sugar, whatever you crave (bc shows allergy)
- believe stressful thoughts, indulge in them, never question
- people who complain
- don’t accept you as you are, want to change you
- unable to be present with you, listen
- set others needs/wants before your own
- don’t change what doesn’t work
- Distractions, news, interesting (entertainment)
- what’s urgent instead of important
- diffuse / impossible goals
- wait until feel like it instead of schedule
- passive, unengaged
- helpful to explore bc
- get to examine what creates misery
- easier to recognize when do it or impulse to do it
- have dived into so seem less scary, more manageable, more as a “thing” we can relate to more intentionally/consciously