Using oneself as template for others


This is something I see now and then.

A spiritual or healing coach or guide use themselves as a template for others. It’s as if they think “it was that way for me so it must be that way for others” or “it works for me so it must work for others”.

It’s natural and necessary to use one’s own experience when we guide others. But we are not in any way a template for others. We all have our own path. Our path unfolds in a unique way. What works for us at any one time may be different from what works for others and at other times.

So the best guides tend to help people find their own aims, path, and approaches that work for them. And when we speak, we speak from our own experience and make that explicit. “This is how it was for me, this was my path, this worked for me, and it may be different for you. But if you want to try something that’s within my experience and my arsenal, let me know and I’ll be of assistance.”


  • Using oneself as template for others
    • for awakening process
      • “was that way for me, so must be that way for others”
    • for approaches / types of explorations etc.
      • “works for me, so must work for others”
    • but reality is far more varied and diverse
      • can figure it out just by talking with people or reading a few books about different people’s processes
      • and also, existence is the divine exploring and experiencing itself in always new ways, in diversity (wouldn’t be any point in duplicating)
    • practically
      • support people in their own process, finding and using what works for them
      • speak from own experience, and make it explicit that’s what it is

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