Sometimes your deepest shadow comes up after your deepest awakening.
– Adyashanti, The Way of Liberating Insight
Why does it come up? We can say that an awakening is an opening to reality, and that reality includes our shadow. Or we can say that bringing the shadow into awareness is required for us to live the awakening in more situations and areas of life.
In any case, long before this happened to me, I thought this and other forms of a dark night sounded noble and a bit heroic. I thought I would be able to continue keeping what surfaced at a safe arm’s length’s distance and remain firmly centered in clarity and presence.
When it happened, it was more experienced as a complete disaster. And for me, that was part of the shadow that surfaced. I was unable to remain clear, centered, and keep it at some distance. And I had to finally admit to myself I was completely and utterly human.
Note: Healing unhealed parts of us is part of the embodiment process. As long as they remain unhealed, they will be triggered by life situations and we tend to live from reactivity to these unhealed parts. To the extent they are allowed and healed, there is space there to instead live from responsiveness, clarity, kindness, and wisdom. The shadow surfacing in the way Adyashanti talks about it is an important part of the embodiment process. It’s not comfortable. It may not be what we think we want. But it’s what’s needed for us to live more fully from the awakening.
- deepest shadow comes up after deepest awakening
- take the lid off
- come up to be seen, felt, allowed, healed etc
- so the awakening can be lived in more situations and areas of life
- any unhealed parts of us live from reactivity, so are unable to life from / reflect the more wise / clear / kind divine
- unhealed parts of us are unawake so are unable to reflect awakeness
A long time ago, I thought the different types of dark nights – which often occur at some point in an awakening and embodiment process – sounded noble and heroic.
I told myself that if it happened to me, I would continue to keep what surfaced at a safe arm length’s distance and I would remain firmly centered in clarity and presence.
When it did happen, all of that went out the window. More than anything, it was experienced as a complete disaster. And, I guess, that’s what was needed for it to impact the areas of me that needed impacting. There was nowhere to hide.