Own Dream: Finding new spaces

 

I am visiting a family in Australia (?) and am given the only room on the top floor, which is nice although small. As I spend time there, I keep finding new and interesting additions to the room and it’s much larger and better than I initially thought.

These days, slightly rootless dreams are common for me. In this case, I am visiting another continent and staying in the house of someone I know (although not in waking life). The room seems small although I am happy to be able to stay there. And as I get more familiar with the place, I keep finding new spaces, additions, and rooms, and it’s much larger and more beautiful than I thought.

The rootlessness is what I feel to some extent in waking life, although don’t pay attention to as much as it perhaps asks me to. I do have a place to live, and I feel at home here, but it doesn’t feel like a real or lasting home.

There is a deeper root to this rootlessness. Several years back, I left my guidance in one major aspect of my life (where to live) and that led to me gradually feeling more and more off track and lost in life. It may even be what led to the chronic fatigue returning much stronger than it did in my teens. I left much of what was most important to me in life and I left my guidance which quietly and persistently told me to stay on the path I previously was on. (I got married and left my friends and community, my studies and career, a place I deeply loved, and more in order to support my wife in her studies.)

Ultimately, the rootedness I am asked to find is a rootedness in myself, and especially through consistently and faithfully following my guidance in smaller and larger things. As I did in my twenties before I left it as described above.

Finding new spaces is what happens through the healing and inquiry work I do. I keep finding new, beautiful, larger, and interesting spaces – in myself and life.

That I live in the top level of the house may suggest that I still tend to be a little intellectual and live in my head. Although I am quite aware of my body and bodily sensations, it’s not the center of who I take myself to be as a human being.

The Australia part of the dream may have come from listening to a podcast with two Australians before falling asleep. (The Unmade Podcast.)

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