Chronic fatigue reflections II

 

This is the second in a series of posts with Chronic fatigue Syndrome (CFS) reflections. These are my own observations so take it with a big grain of salt and – if you have CFS and are curious – explore it for yourself and see what you find.

CFS, rest, and energization. A big part of living with Chronic Fatigue syndrome (CFS) is needing rest, and often a lot of rest (before, during, and after activities). With Vortex Healing in my life, that’s now a little different. When I need rest, what I really need is Vortex Healing energization. The need for rest comes from lack of energy, and this can be remedied – partially or largely – with VH energization.

The way it most often looks is that I notice the need for rest. Lie down and rest, and also receive VH energization. The energization fills up my energy system, and the rest allows my system to absorb it and recover. The result is that I feel much better and the rest period typically is shortened.

Sometimes, it’s difficult for me to channel for myself (since that takes energy), and that’s when it’s a blessing to have a partner who is a senior-level Vortex healer.

CFS, crashing, fear, and grumpiness. I have mentioned this in another post and it’s something I keep exploring. If I am out and about, even for a short period, I need to eat (small amounts) and drink frequently. If I don’t, my system starts crashing.

When that happens, one of the early symptoms is grumpiness. Sometimes, it takes a few minutes before I notice what’s happening and that I need some food and drink. The grumpiness may then take the form of a mostly single-minded focus on getting just that.

Although grumpiness is fine, it’s not always so enjoyable for me or my partner (when we are out together). So I have set the intention to be more aware of this pattern, recognize it earlier, and explore the grumpiness itself.

What I have found is that it’s actually fear. Survival fear.

When I notice that fear, I can tell myself (and my partner) that I notice fear. I notice fear. Survival fear. That means my system is about to crash and I need something to eat and drink as soon as possible, and also a bit of rest.

Noticing what’s behind the grumpiness, putting it into words, and saying out loud helps take some of the charge out of it.

I am still early in the process of exploring this but I suspect it means it doesn’t have to go into grumpiness in the same way.

If this dynamic follows a pattern I have explored before, then it can take two forms. One is that my system needs food and water urgently, there is survival fear, I don’t notice or recognize this fear, and it takes the form of grumpiness or even anger.

The other is that the fear is noticed and acknowledged, and it doesn’t have to take the form of grumpiness or anger because it is already acknowledged and listened to and I take steps to remedy the situation it’s telling me about. (Through food, drink, and rest.)

In the first case, the signal is amplified because I didn’t notice it early on. In the second case, I notice the early signal so it doesn’t have to amplify.

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