Reflections on society, politics and nature XXXVII


This is one in a series of posts with brief notes on society, politics, and nature. I sometimes include short personal notes as well. Click “read more” to see all the entries.


When I write posts here, I write from one or a few perspectives.

These perspectives reflect my biases and conditioning as a male from a northern European country, university educated, and so on. And they reflect my own hangups, wounds, emotional issues, beliefs, identifications, and perceived lack.

There are many perspectives out there that are equally valid and important, and I leave them out to make it simpler (and easier for myself), and also because I am aware of only a small subset of all the existing and possible perspectives.

So what’s the bigger and more general picture for social issues?

My world – the world as it appears to me – happens within and as what I am. All my experiences happen within and as what I am.

The world appears the way it does to me because of my own mental overlay. This overlay consists of mental images and words, and it puts labels, meaning, and stories on my world. I am responsible for my own stories about the world, including the most basic assumptions about the world, others, and myself.

The stories I have about the world reflect me as a human being. Whatever stories I have about the world or others also fit me, and I can find very specific examples of how each one fits me.

Each person perceives and acts from their own filters and biases, including me. We cannot escape this but we can be a little more aware of this happening and some of the specific filters and biases.

Each person has valuable perspectives and views, especially when we drill down to the essence of what these are about.

Everything is a whole and part. What we see happening here and now are expressions of movements within the whole – going back to beginning of time and stretching out to the widest extent of existence.

It’s all lila. The world as it appears to me is the play of this consciousness. Or, we can say it’s the play of life – or the divine. It’s consciousness, life, or the divine expressing, exploring, and experiencing itself in always new ways.

I cannot know anything for certain. I am operating from a huge number of questioned and unquestioned assumptions.

When I write, I typically highlight one or a few of these even if all of them are there in the background.


There is a sad irony in the conspiracy theory world.

I suspect some – or many? – who get into conspiracy theories do partly to feel they know something others don’t and to feel special, smart, and perhaps even powerful. They may try to compensate for feeling like an outsider, a failure, rejected, and powerless.

Although they may find a sense of belonging in the conspiracy subculture, they may also separate themselves from friends and relatives. To the extent they get identified with the conspiracy world, they may isolate themselves from those who are not into it. In that way, they create for themselves even more of what they try to escape.

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Dorothea Williams: I heard this story about a fish


I heard this story about a fish, he swims up to an older fish and says: “I’m trying to find this thing they call the ocean.” “The ocean?” the older fish says, “that’s what you’re in right now.” “This”, says the young fish, “this is water. What I want is the ocean!”

– Dorothea Williams in Soul

This anecdote also fits discovering what we are.

When we notice what we are, it’s often like water. It’s the ocean but it may seem too simple and ordinary to us. We may have the idea that it should be something grand, majestic, extraordinary, and with fireworks.

Sometimes, it is. But most of the time, it’s just ordinary. It’s water.

And if we look, we’ll find all the other qualities there as well, just not with the volume turned up as much.

I have seen this when people notice what they are through the Big Mind process or Headless experiments. The noticing is real. What we notice itself as all there is. But it’s without the bells and whistles. It’s low key. So the mind may tell itself: “This can’t be it. It’s supposed to be amazing and big and with all sorts of fireworks”.

We have bought into one of the myths about awakening.

So we may leave it and keep seeking for something grand and amazing, and miss the real thing, at least for a while. Or we may continue to explore what they noticed and continue to notice, clarify, deepen, and live from it.

If we go off on an adventure to find the fireworks, there is nothing wrong with it. But eventually, we realize what the older fish did: the water is the ocean.

My “Near Death Experience” was really a Before Life Experience


In my early childhood, I had flashbacks to the time before incarnation – or between lives. The content of these flashbacks was very similar to many Near-Death Experiences. This lasted until about school-age when my mind probably became preoccupied with other things and trying to be as normal as possible.

The flashbacks brought me back to…. Being without a body and disincarnate. A sense of oneness – although there was also a sense of being a self as well. All of existence as infinite light, love and wisdom. A profound sense of being home. Timelessness with some vague sense of the passage of time (decades and perhaps centuries). There was also a sense of communication with infinitely wise and similarly disincarnate beings.

These flashbacks typically happened when I was outside and saw the sunlight on the ground filtered through moving leaves. I know this sounds very specific but it’s what I remember.

At the time, I didn’t have any particular thoughts about this, and I most likely didn’t mention it to anyone. I wouldn’t have known how to put it into words, and maybe I thought it was something everyone experienced. Most likely, I didn’t think about it one way or another. It wasn’t until the awakening in my mid-teens that I made the connection between this and the more typical near-death experiences.

My sense is that these flashbacks created a deep longing in me. During my later childhood, I didn’t know what the longing was about. But when the awakening happened in my teens, it was clear what it was about. The longing was about coming “home” to all as the divine, as it had been before this life.

For the next phase in my life, part of my process has been to notice that this is already here. What I longed for is already here. It’s what I am. And I can notice that independent of any particular content of experience. More accurately, it can notice itself through the changing content of experience.

Do people really believe conspiracy theories?


For me, it’s difficult to imagine someone actually believing the QAnon and other weirdo conspiracy theories. I understand how people can get hooked on it since it feeds into their emotional issues and they live in digital bubbles that confirm what they want to believe. But it’s hard to imagine they actually believe it. Somewhere in them, they know they live in a bubble. They know the sources are questionable. They know they do it to feed emotional issues.

And that’s really the same with all beliefs, for all of us. Somewhere in us, we know we want to believe but don’t really. We know we cannot know for certain. We know we are largely doing it to feed our emotional issues.

So on the surface, the answer is yes. In a sense, we do believe whatever we appear to believe. We perceive the world through our beliefs. We think and feel as if it’s true. We live and act as if it’s true. And yet, somewhere in us, we know what we are doing. We know we allow ourselves to get caught up in a fantasy. The fantasy of knowing something for certain we cannot know.

Wanting love – and seeking what we already are


When it comes down to it, what most (all?) human beings want is love. Not just to be loved by others, but to love. And not just to love someone else, but to deeply and thoroughly love their own experience. And to deeply and thoroughly love our own experience means to love any sensation, thought, and ourselves and the world as it appears to us.

Many of us are unaware of this. And many of us go about finding this love in haphazard ways. We rely on cultural and other conditioning, and on reactivity and reactions to discomfort. That’s why we often end of not finding the love we seek.

It’s not difficult to find examples of this. Trump is perhaps an especially clear one. I assume he too, deep down, really just wants love. And especially to find genuine love – compassion – for himself and his pain. The way he goes about this, through bluster, bigotry, and scams, doesn’t give him what he really wants, but he doesn’t know any other way, so he continues and doubles his effort. It’s a tragedy in the old Greek sense. It’s a setup and he is unable to escape it, at least for now and probably in this lifetime.

So what do we do? Do we choose the Trump approach of doing more of what doesn’t work? Or do we take the more direct route to find love for our own experience – as it is, and perhaps even find ourselves as love?

We are love. That’s why we seek love. We seek what we already are. We seek home. We seek to allow the uncomfortable separation between what we think we are (which comes from thoughts and identities) and what we really are (oneness, love) to be seen through and fall away.

How do we go about finding what we really are? Heart-centered practices – tonglen, ho’oponopono, tonglen, heart prayer – is a good beginning and is sometimes helpful throughout the process. Inquiry – Big Mind process, Headless experiments – can help us discover what we already are, and can remind us what we are throughout the day. Inquiry – The Work of Byron Katie, Living Inquiries – can help us see through beliefs and identifications that transfix us and distract us from noticing what we are.

Adyashanti: Awakening will not give you a pass on the challenges of life


Awakening will not give you a pass on the challenges of life, but it can give you a pass on not driving yourself nuts with the challenges.

– Adyashanti in Clear Sky Consciousness

This is a response to one of the may myths of awakening. “Awakening will make our problems go away.” It doesn’t at all, but – to the extent the awakening is embodied, and to the extent we are committed to waking up whatever issues surface in us, it can make things a little easier.

Dream: Healing an issue all the way through


I am talking with a man. He tells me he worked through a core childhood trauma (issue) by working on it for 30 days using Vortex Healing.

This reflects my own sense these days when I work on my own issues with Vortex Healing. I can sense more clearly how and where it works. I can sense the issues more clearly as objects within me. And I have much deeper confidence, based on sensing and experience, that I can work through any of them with clear intention, consistency, and thoroughness.

Dream: Visiting a friend’s house


I am visiting Nathan W.’s new house in Washington state and am surprised by how clean it is since his previous home wasn’t so clean. I am also surprised that the house is bigger, newer, and stronger since I thought it was more like my old house in Oregon. (Which was a good house in the best neighborhood but felt a bit flimsy.)

What’s this dream about? The house felt like an upgrade of my old house in Oregon where I lived in the ’00s. It is cleaner than his old place, and larger and stronger than my old house in the Pacific Northwest.

My sense is that some of the work I have done on myself is reflected in this dream, and especially the deep and effective Vortex Healing work on my energy system and emotional issues. The house is clean, large, and strong. Perhaps something in me is like that now? It feels that way.

I should mention that Nathan did buy a house in Washington state, I have seen photos of it, and it reminded me of my old house in Oregon. That’s clearly one seed for this dream imagery. Nathan is also the first senior Vortex Healing practitioner I got to know, and I did house- and cat-sit at his old place a few years back.

That suggests that the clean, large, and solid house has to do with changes in me from working on myself with Vortex Healing.

Energy drawing


It’s been a while since I did an “energy self-portrait”, so I thought I would do another one. These are most useful when taken as projections.

What I noticed while drawing it is that what’s below is far more interesting to me than what’s above, and I did the above-ground section as a much quicker sketch. This probably reflects my interest in and focus on working on deep emotional and physical issues these days, often using Vortex Healing combined with waking up the issues.

How thorough is our kindness? Does it extend to ourselves?


A year ago, Ari Behn, a Norwegian author (whose books I haven’t read), took his own life. His family and friends have been very open about the suicide, how he was with friends and family, and how they experience the loss.

A common theme was how kind and encouraging he consistently was with other people, and how interested he was in them. Several mentioned that he never said an unkind word about anyone. And yet, it seems that he may not have related to himself and his own experience with the same kindness.

The question is: how thorough is our kindness?

How thorough is our kindness at a personal level? Does it extend to our own experiences? To our fears, anger, sadness, pain, wounds, traumas, discomfort, compulsions, and so on? Does it extend to the thoughts we have about ourselves and the world? Does it extend to the ideas and images we have about ourselves and the world?

Does it go to where it really counts, which ultimately is in our relationship to our own experiences and thoughts?

The situation with the author brings up a couple of other things for me.

If we repress anger, frustration, and so on, it tends to build up and can become overwhelming and unbearable. (I am not saying he did this, but it does fit the pattern of someone who never says a bad word about anyone.)

Another is that a precursor to this suicide apparently was chronic fatigue and loss of roles and identities. This is a reminder to question and see through these before we lose them (which we will), or at least do it after they are gone and find some peace with it.

Of course, I didn’t know him or his life, and all of this is just what comes up in me from that story.

Dream: My childhood neighborhood is rebuilt


I am at my childhood house, walk out to the street, and see – to my surprise – that all the houses in the neighborhood have been demolished. I walk down the street to another section of the neighborhood, and see that it has been demolished as well. I meet a friend (OSL), we talk, and it comes up that they will rebuild in six weeks, after Easter. I feel good about having the neighborhood brand new.

Some days ago, I had a similar dream: A street in my childhood neighborhood (in a small town in Norway) had Parisian apartments and houses, and in each one lived senior Vortex Healing practitioners. I felt very much at home.

In this dream, my old childhood neighborhood was demolished. All the houses had been removed and the ground was clear. We had to wait six weeks for the rebuilding, partly because of Easter and partly because it would give time for people to decide – and feel into – how they wanted their new houses.

After the initial surprise, I felt good about it. It felt right.

What does this mean? The most obvious is that my metaphoric “childhood neighborhood” has been largely demolished. Now, there is clear ground and space for something new.

Why Easter? Easter has to do with death and resurrection, and the dream seems to reflect an inner death and resurrection process.

Why OSL? Perhaps because this is a good friend I recently reconnected with, I feel we understand each other, and she is in a committed awakening process.

And why this dream now? Perhaps because I have worked on transforming deep childhood issues recently (relating to the dynamic between my parents and the internalization of this dynamic). And there has been a shift in my healing process so it seems that I can much more easily work with and invite transformation of deep issues. (They seem more transparent to me, and the energy goes deeper.)

Also, I am currently at my childhood home so that makes this image – of my childhood neighborhood – more readily available to me.

Thic Nat Hanh: A human being is like a television set with millions of channels


Recently, one friend asked me, “How can I force myself to smile when I am filled with sorrow? It isn’t natural.”

I told her she must be able to smile to her sorrow because we are more than our sorrow.

A human being is like a television set with millions of channels. If we turn the Buddha on, we are the Buddha. If we turn sorrow on then we are sorrow. If we turn a smile on, we really are the smile. We can not let just one channel dominate us. We have the seed of everything in us, and we have to seize the situation in our hand, to recover our own sovereignty.

– Thich Nhat Hanh

The initial question comes from a misconception. We don’t need to force ourselves into anything. Smiling is obviously not required. Why not embrace the sorrow? Why not allow it its life? If we do this with some guidance and skill, it’s an important element in allowing it to liberate.

The initial answer can be a bit misleading. TNH points to that we are more than any one feeling, experience, or part of us. Instead of getting absorbed into whatever is coming up, we can notice this bigger whole and that gives us space to relate to what comes up in a different way. Instead of taking it as who or what we are (identified with it), we can notice it as happening within us and a temporary guest (seeing it as an object).

Why did TNH talk about smiling? I assume he refers to a metaphorical smile. Noticing ourselves as more than our current experience is very helpful, but it doesn’t really have to do with smiling or not.

It may be that TNH refers to another aspect of this, which is what others may call befriending the sorrow, or meeting it with kindness, or relating to it as we would a sorrowful child, friend, lover, or animal. There are also specific practices that use a form of inner smile (for instance in Taoism) and TMH may have referred to these practices. I am not sure.

And yes, we are a million channels. We are whatever experience is here now. We can take the view of anything we can name and more. This is what we explore through subpersonalities and practices like the Big Mind process. And it’s good to notice this and become more experienced and skilled in navigating these dynamics.

I appreciate what TNH has done in his life. His example and pointers have reached and helped a great number of people. At the same time, the way he talks about some things can be misunderstood as encouraging a kind of repression. That’s not needed. We can allow whatever experience is here, find some space around it, and develop better discernment and skill in how and when to act on it or not.

Dream: International gathering


I am at an international gathering with thousands of people from all over the world. It’s aimed at creating connections, understanding, and to shift the global culture in a more sustainable and life-centered direction. Tomorrow is a large long-distance run, and today I join in with a much shorter test-run. I am concerned I won’t be able to do it, but since I am at the very back of a group of thousands of people, it moves slowly and I have time to enjoy and connect with others.

What’s this about? I have done quite a bit of Vortex Healing for myself the last few days so it feels like my internal community is rich, alive, and reconnecting in new ways. Perhaps the dream is reflecting an inner gathering and reorganization?

Childhood memory: Aware that I exist


Here is another childhood memory: I am sitting in a leather chair by the west window in the living room, looking at a Donald Duck comic book. (I don’t think I knew how to read so I was probably around four or five years old.) Suddenly, I became aware that I exist. And more than that, that this consciousness is aware of all these things. It was completely astonishing to me and this memory is still clear and vivid.

Again, it says something about my early interest in the things I continued to explore in my life. In my childhood and early teens, it was an interest in parapsychology and UFOs. In my mid-teens, it turned into a passion for systems theories, eastern philosophies (mostly Taoism), and so on.

Childhood memory: Thwarting destiny


When I was quite little (5-8 years old?), I became fascinated with the idea of destiny. If it was true that my life was destined, I wanted to see if I could escape this destiny. I did an experiment and walked down the hallway towards the bathroom, and half-way suddenly turned around to see if I could trick my destiny. Then I realized that if there is destiny, then doing what I just did must be part of my destiny and I couldn’t escape it.

This is probably a weird exploration for a little kid, but it does say something about my early interest in the existential things I have since explored and write about here. Fortunately, my interest in destiny, in particular, didn’t last much longer for me since it doesn’t seem a very fruitful thing to continue to explore.

Dream: Choosing what’s simpler and more beautiful


I am at a university – perhaps for a workshop or conference – and don’t know anyone. It’s winter vacation and nearly all students are going on cross-country skiing trips. I find a place to rent skiing equipment and tell the woman there about my (ambitious) skiing plans. She says “That path goes a lot up and down. I usually go on this path. It’s more level, gentle, and very beautiful.” She shows me another path on the map and I decide to take that path on my own skiing trip.

Later, I talk with Bruce Springsteen who is having a concert at the university that evening. He is ordinary and friendly. Later, I discover that the performance is in a relatively small space and he may use an acoustic guitar. He wants to give a simple and heartfelt performance for people who will really appreciate it.

Both of these scenes are about a shift from something ambitious and epic to something more simple, easy, and beautiful or heartfelt. My initial skiing plans were ambitious and probably exhausting. Bruce Springsteen could have given epic performances on grand stadiums but chose to give a more intimate performance.

In the first case, my feminine side suggested the more gentle and beautiful path. In the second case, I got a model of a man doing the same.

This has been a theme in life and there is an invitation to shift further in this direction now. The dream may reflect and encourage this shift in me and my life.

Why skiing? And why Bruce Springsteen? I love skiing and because of warmer winters in Norway, my opportunities to ski are fever than they were. Bruce Springsteen is not someone I listen to during waking life but he is someone I associate with big stadiums, and he does seem to have a good heart.

Viktor Frankl: When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure


When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.

– Viktor Frankl

There is nothing wrong with pleasure. It’s an important part of a rich life and can also be a vital part of healing – both physical and emotional.

At the same time, if we seek pleasure in order to distract ourselves, it may be good to notice and explore what’s behind it. What do I try to distract myself from? What are the uncomfortable sensations? What are the uncomfortable thoughts (beliefs, identifications) connected with these?

And can I find more meaning in my life? What’s meaningful to me? How can I bring it into life a little more? Some of these things may be apparently small and yet important for us.

I agree with Victor Frankl in that when we have a life we experience as rich and meaningful, we don’t need so much to distract ourselves with pleasure. And yet, there are a few more things going on here.

One is that pleasure is an important part of a rich human life.

Another is what we distract ourselves from, which is good to explore in itself.

And yet another is that when we have (develop, nurture) a life we experience as meaningful, we don’t need to distract ourselves with pleasure. We enjoy pleasure and we have less need to compulsively seek pleasure in order to distract ourselves from discomfort, including the discomfort of a less meaningful life.

Reflections on society, politics and nature XXXVI


This is one in a series of posts with brief notes on society, politics, and nature. I sometimes include short personal notes as well. Click “read more” to see all the entries.


There are some political dimensions I find as useful as the conventional ones.

The main one may be inclusiveness. Is this policy aimed at benefiting all life, as far as possible? Or is it aimed at benefiting one particular group at the expense of others? Of course, we may not be able to find policies that always benefit everyone, but we can do our best. And when I say all life, I mean all life – including non-human species and future generations.

Another is reality orientation. Is this view or policy grounded in reality? Is it grounded in science? Or is it based on ideology, logical fallacies, misinformation, or conspiracy theories?

And yet another is democracy. Does this policy, party, or politician aim to deepen and strengthen democracy? Or does it aim to undermine it?

The first one has been important to me since my mid-teens. The second has become more salient and relevant in our post-truth era. And the third has similarly become relevant due to anti-democracy forces that are both unintentional (social media, echo chambers) and intentional (weaponized fake news, conspiracy theories, troll farms), and leaders of democracies that actively undermine these democracies like Trump and Putin.

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Dream: A street in my childhood neighborhood now has Vortex Healers as residents


I walk down a street in my childhood neighborhood (Nybrottveien). It now has Parisian apartments and houses, and in each one, I see familiar Vortex Healing practitioners. It seems that senior Vortex healers have all decided to move in there. I am invited into one apartment and have a very good conversation with the ones there.

This is the neighborhood of my childhood and I spent a lot of time on this street. In waking life, it has typical Norwegian houses. In this dream, it has very charming Parisian style apartments and houses. As I walk down the street, I see familiar Vortex Healing faces in each apartment and house. It’s beautiful and feels very good to me.

What does this mean? Perhaps that Vortex Healing has a deep place in me now, one that is as deep as my childhood.

Dream: Reborn as androgynous


I am reborn as androgynous and am surprised but also find it satisfying and interesting.

This is a dream fragment from a few days ago that came to mind. I am somehow reborn, find myself as androgynous, and am surprised although also enjoy it and want to explore it further. When I am reborn, I am already an adult.

This likely reflects a more conscious embrace of the feminine and masculine in myself, and being more comfortable with both.

Much of what we see as feminine and masculine qualities are, of course, culturally influenced or determined. And embracing both sides of us doesn’t mean a bland middle, it means being comfortable with both, embracing and being comfortable with both in ourselves, and live from and make use of either in our life as situations call for it.

Dreams: New levels in my house and selling land


My partner and I are at my parent’s house, which we are soon to take over. We have been cleaning and organizing, and I discover to levels to the house I had forgotten about. The top-level has a beautiful and charming room with Persian rugs, large pillows, and wall hangings. It also has a beautiful outside area with grass. I used to live here but had completely forgotten it existed. Outside, I find a leather backpack with some things in it from a period of my life I also had completely forgotten about. Someone has clearly been keeping up this top level of the house since all is clean and fresh. I also discover a basement level that I had forgotten about. It’s not dusty but it does have things in storage we need to sort through and we’ll get rid of several things.

This is the classic house dream where we discover new rooms and areas. In this case, a beautiful top level and a basement with some things to sort through. In both cases, I had known but completely forgotten about them, and then rediscovered them. These are “rooms” in me that I have forgotten about and now may be rediscovering.

In this case, what are these rooms? One is a beautiful and comfortable top-level that combines comfort and nature. The other, a basement to sort through. The first may be a sense of enjoyment of life and spaciousness. The second, things in my “basement” – emotional issues etc. – to sort through.

I should mention that in waking life, my partner and I have sorted through a lot in my parents house recently, both in the attic and the basement.

That was the second dream this morning. Here is my first dream.

I and my partner own farmland just down the street from my parent’s house in Norway. It’s neighboring farmland that a friend from school owns. We all want to sell the land. My friend wants to sell his quickly to developers to get the money. I talk with his partner about another possibility: If we sell the two pieces of land as one to someone who wants to do organic farming or permaculture, the land will be more valuable and he may get as much or more than if he sells it to developers. I suggest we all walk around all of the lands to see what’s there so we can use it when advertising the sale. I hope he will agree since it feels better to sell it to someone who will use it properly.

I am not exactly sure what this is about. My friend is a waking life friend and he does own that farmland which he is leasing to someone else. His farm is a five-minute walk from my parents’ house and where I grew up.

The dream does reflect my lifelong waking interest in sustainability, organic agriculture, permaculture, and so on. There is some negotiation going on. And I am holding the outcome lightly but hope to preserve the land for growing food in a sustainable way.

I am selling a piece of land close to where I grew up. I wonder if this is about “selling” something from my childhood connected to my parents and where I grew up. Perhaps my system is in the process of letting go of something.

“I am God”


When I lived in Oregon, a message from a member of the digital version of our local permaculture group said “I am God”. Someone had apparently had an awakening of sorts, or at least a glimpse, and interpreted it as “I am God”.

It’s not wrong. In a sense, it’s literally true.

And yet, to me, it seems far more accurate to say that everything and everyone is God and that what I am is God. We can also find other ways to talk about it, for instance – in the words of Carl Sagan – we are the local eyes, ears, thoughts, and feelings of the universe.

Why this distinction? Because saying “I am God” can easily be interpreted by the person saying it and others hearing it to mean “this sense of separate self is God”, and that is an unhealthy delusion (inflation).

Yes, this sense of a separate self is one of a myriad of manifestations of the divine. It’s the divine locally and temporarily taking itself to be a separate self. And yet, that’s it. Any sense of separate self comes from a temporary and local delusion. It’s very far from our true nature waking up to itself as what allows any and all experiences and is any and all experiences.

It’s safer and more accurate to say everyone and everything is God, and a temporary and local sense of being a separate self is the play of the divine.

So what if someone assumes that “I – as this separate self – is God”? Then that too is the play of the divine. It’s part of the process of that particular awakening. And it’s a reminder and reflection for all of us. Somewhere in our own process, and also right here and now, we can find it in ourselves.

Dream: Libertarian politician spreading Covid


I work at a university and work on a project with a group of people in a large shared space. We hear someone coughing and sneezing, and see a libertarian politician (Christian Tybring-Gjedde from FrP) at his desk. He is clearly very sick, and it turns out he has Covid. We talk to him, he stands up and approaches us, and sneezes just as someone passes him.

I tell him that he should be home and that it is irresponsible of him to come to work and risk others getting infected. He ignores it and shows no intention to stay at home. The others in my group choose to say nothing since he is a well known political figure in Norway. I let him know that if he does not leave and stay in quarantine, I’ll go to the police, media, and his superiors at the university.

This dream reflects several themes. One is that I see people from his party (FrP) as generally irresponsible, immature, and short-sighted. His behavior is not unexpected for someone from his party.

In terms of the pandemic, I see people who don’t pay attention to distance, wearing masks, and disinfecting their hands as irresponsible. We don’t know if we are infected or not (we may not have symptoms), and we don’t know who we will infect and how they will be impacted. By being careless, we may unwittingly infect someone who will die or have lasting health problems from the illness. And it’s impossible to predict who that will be. It’s a form of russian roulette.

Another theme is a pattern of speaking up about something, and others agreeing but not speaking up or supporting me.

And, as always, everything and everyone in the dream reflects me. I have this stubborn and careless side to me. (Especially when it comes to being a steward of my own life.) And I have the side of me that speaks up about it, even if it feels scary.

The dream reminds me of these sides of me, and that I can invite and explore a better dialog between them. What does the stubborn and careless part of me want me to know? How does it see the world? How can I help it feel more understood so it can relax and be a better team mate?

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Dream: Saving a child


Some friends have a daughter who is likely to die unless she can receive medical help which involves a compatible donor. It turns out I am the only one who is compatible. As far as I understand, she will die if she catches the pandemic virus, and my immune system can help her be protected against all eight variations of the virus. I am more than happy to help, and the process also deepens the connection between us all.

These are people I don’t know in waking life. Being a “donor” here means sharing something about my immune system that protects against the pandemic virus, and I may be the only one who can. I am very happy to do it.

In general, she may represent a young and vulnerable inner part of me in need of help, and I am – obviously – the only one who can help.

I wonder if the immune system here means resilience. Supporting this young part of me to be more resilient. To feel more protected, safe, loved.

Danielle LaPorte: Right now there are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering


Right now there are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering and for the flourishing of your happiness.

Someone you haven’t met yet is already dreaming of adoring you.

Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life.

Nuns in the Alps are in endless vigil, praying for the Holy Spirit to alight the hearts of all of God’s children.

A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, “nourish them.”Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you.

Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favorite food is, and treat you to a movie.

Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you — for free.

Something is being invented this year that will change how your generation lives, communicates, heals and passes on.

The next great song is being rehearsed.

Thousands of people are in yoga classes right now intentionally sending light out from their heart chakras and wrapping it around the earth.

Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way.

Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they’ll be thriving like never before. From where they are, they just can’t see it.

Someone who is craving to be partnered, to be acknowledged, to arrive, will get precisely what they want — and even more. And because that gift will be so fantastical in its reach and sweetness, it will quite magically alter their memory of angsty longing and render it all “So worth the wait.”

Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche — this luminous juju is floating in the ether and is accessible to you.

Someone, just this second wished for world peace, in earnest.

Some civil servant is making sure that you get your mail, and your garbage is picked up, that the trains are running on time, and that you are generally safe. Someone is dedicating their days to protecting your civil liberties and clean drinking water.

Someone is regaining their sanity.

Someone is coming back from the dead. Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable.

Someone is curing the incurable.

You. Me. Some. One. Now.

— Danielle LaPorte, The Manifesto of Encouragement

Teresa of Avila: I just allow myself to be loved


When Teresa of Avila was asked what she did in prayer, she replied, “I just allow myself to be loved.”

– Anthony de Mello in Sadhana, a Way to God

This is the perfect answer. We allow our human self to be loved by Spirit, by Big Heart. And, in that, is a profound transformation.

When we open up for universal love, a love that loves all of us, we notice what in ourselves we feel is unlovable. I may feel unlovable. I may feel that parts of me are unlovable. And it can be uncomfortable at first to open to this universal love. And yet, to open to this universal love can be profoundly healing. It helps us find love for ourselves and all these parts of ourselves.

In a sense, it models the love we can find for ourselves. In another way, this universal love is what we already are. Allowing ourselves to be fully and deeply loved by the universal divine love is a step into discovering that we can love ourselves in the same way. And that’s a step into finding this same universal love for others and the world. And finding ourselves as that love.

There are many ways we can support this process. Allowing ourselves to be loved can help us see that we feel unlovable or that we feel some parts of us are unlovable. We can then get to know these parts of us. Listen to what they have to tell us. What they would like from us. How they experience us. We can identify beliefs and question them until we find what’s more true for us. We can invite in healing for the issues behind not feeling lovable, or not feeling that some parts of us are lovable. And so on.

This is an example of how a very simple practice – allowing ourselves to be loved by universal love – can be profoundly healing, can deeply shift our relationship with ourselves and others and the world, and can even invite us to notice what we are and what we are to notice itself as all there is.

I have only discovered a few simple practices that are so aligned with reality and can lead to such profound shifts: Allowing ourselves to be loved by universal love. Ho’oponopono. Tonglen. Heart Prayer. And basic meditation (notice + allow).

Reflections on society, politics and nature XXXV


This is one in a series of posts with brief notes on society, politics, and nature. I sometimes include short personal notes as well. Click “read more” to see all the entries.


I love this, although I would rephrase it slightly: “Just wait till conspiracy theorists discover they’re part of a conspiracy to use conspiracy theories to spread disinformation.”

If there is a real conspiracy out there, it’s that some intentionally use conspiracy theories – and conspiracy theorists – to spread disinformation.

And through that, influence politics (e.g. QAnon with Trump support), sow confusion and doubt around certain topics (petroleum industry with climate change), and generally create chaos and polarization (Russia with the US and Europe).

Conspiracy theorists are being used, and they often don’t realize it.

I love this one too. It’s true we are all the universe and Earth and – if we see it that way – Spirit. Our experiences are the experiences Spirit wants to have through and as us. At the same time, if I lived in the US, I would do anything I could – through voting and getting out the votes – to prevent a second Trump presidency.


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Dream: Nazis baffled by kindness


It’s during the second world war in Europe. A group of Jews are in a secret workshop making something. (Forged money?) Nazis enter the room looking for Jews, and the Jews greet them with warm kindness. The Nazis seem baffled, assume these people are OK (not Jews), and leave.

This is one of the dreams which are more like a movie and I am an observer more than a participant. The essence of the dream was that the Nazis were looking for jews and other “criminals”, they assumed the group of Jews were OK since they greeted them with such warmth and kindness, so they left.

In my waking life, I am exploring a new layer of this in myself. Whenever something comes up in me that my habitual pattern is to avoid, I instead notice it’s a flavor of the divine and invite the divine – in that form – to notice itself as the divine. Where I previously would “dehumanize” and “criminalize” what came up, I instead greet it more warmly and recognize it as a flavor of the divine.

This has been a process, and when my habits reject an experience it’s typically not very strongly. But it’s something I keep exploring, and have explored in a slightly different way over the last few weeks, so perhaps the dream is reflecting this exploration. And perhaps it’s reminding me that the Nazi-Jew analogy is or was more fitting than I like to admit.

Just so there is less room for misunderstanding: This is about my own internal process, and perhaps the internal process of all of us. It’s not about the waking world, although perhaps the “friendly” tactic could have worked in some situations. It’s not meant to generalize beyond my own inner processes or some rare waking-world situations.

In our waking world, it’s obviously not enough, and sometimes not so appropriate, to treat nazis with kindness. We can have empathy and understanding for anyone, but we also need to take action – and sometimes strong action – to prevent harm.

Dream: Surviving an airplane’s near-crash


I am on a large plane from Los Angeles to London and sit in the first row in the front section. The plane is having trouble during the second part of the trip, and I notice vibrations and see black smoke outside. We are able to land in London, although it was a rough landing. I depart with the others in my section, and we are all relieved.

After we are off the plane, we realize the situation was more serious than we had realized. The back section of the plane is a burnt-out wreck and everyone there had died.

A few minutes later, we are in a small café, watching the news reports on the plane and the dead. One of the people with us had been interviewed just a minute earlier, and they played that interview.

I am not exactly sure what this dream is about.

On the one hand, it feels like the world is a kind of plane crash this year – with the pandemic, the huge fires in Australia and the US west coast, Trump and the polarization in the US, and so on. Although I have my own challenges, mostly unrelated to all this, I also know I am very privileged and fortunate in the midst of all this. I am one of those who (so far) have survived the metaphorical plane crash.

At the same time, the dream is me. Everything represents parts of me. I have gone through a rocky phase of my life – in terms of health and other sides of life, and I feel I am about to safely “land” for now. Some parts of my system feel like a “burnt-out wreck” from a long illness, although as a whole I feel psychologically OK. Also, parts of us die all the time, in different ways (sometimes just through transformation), and we don’t always notice until after. Perhaps the dream is reflecting some of these things.

Healing from oneness


During the initial awakening in my teens, I discovered healing from oneness. I have done it off and on since when needed. And I have more recently started to explore and use it more intentionally and frequently.

How does oneness healing look?

It does require some noticing of oneness, of what we are. And the more clear, stable, and thorough this noticing is, the easier oneness healing may be.

One aspect is noticing that whatever I wish to invite in healing for is already Spirit or the divine. It’s a flavor of the divine. It’s the divine temporarily and locally taking that particular form. It’s already happening within and as what I am.

Another is to invite it to notice itself as the divine. This happens through gentle noticing and intention, and it’s an invitation for the divine to wake up to itself as that particular – temporary and local – form.

If it’s an emotional issue, then yet another aspect is to invite it to align with reality, to align with oneness. This also happens through noticing and intention, by noticing all as oneness, how it may not consciously be aligned with oneness, and inviting it to realign with reality and oneness.

What do I use oneness healing for?

I mostly use it for anything coming up in me that seems even slightly “other” or “I”. If it seems “other”, it’s because there is some separation consciousness there. And if it seems “I”, in the sense of separate me or identification as something within the content of consciousness (sensations, ideas), that too comes from separation consciousness.

I notice something come up and then notice it as the divine and invite it to align with oneness, or for Spirit to wake up to itself in the form of that identification, issue, or whatever it is.

For instance, I may lie bed before falling asleep or after waking up. I notice some discomfort in my body and invite Spirit to notice itself as that discomfort and any reaction to it. I may notice some sensations in my head area that there is a bit more identification with, and invite the divine – in the form of these sensations and the identifications – to notice itself as the divine.

I may notice some reactivity in me (reflecting an emotional issue), notice the sensations and thoughts making it up, and invite Spirit to wake up to itself as that.

I may have a physical issue, and invite Spirit to wake up to itself as that – as the sensations and thoughts making up that.

If I do healing for others, I notice it happens within and as oneness, and I usually take some time to invite the divine to wake up to itself as whatever the healing is for.

I have done this for physical objects and plants.

And I sometimes do this for situations as well, whether it’s my own, someone else’s, or something happening in the world.

What form does the healing take?

When it comes to healing for myself, the main healing is healing my relationship with my experiences. If something is uncomfortable to me, it’s easy to fall into an old habit of wanting to push it away or avoid it. It’s natural, but there is a discomfort inherent in this movement.

So when I notice the discomfort and my reaction to it as the divine, there is a healing. And when I invite Spirit to notice itself as that, in that form or discomfort and the reaction to it, there is also a healing.

Anything else is secondary. Emotional issues may soften and lighten. Physical issues may resolve. And so on. That’s the icing on the cake.

When it comes to healing for others, the main function is obviously healing in a more conventional sense, and my healing of my relationship to my experience is still there but secondary.

Oneness healing for self and others

There is an interesting distinction here.

If I do oneness healing for myself, whether it’s for something physical or emotional, then it can be understood from a small or psychological interpretation of awakening. To myself, I am consciousness and all my experiences – including of this human self and the wider world – happens within and as what I am.

It’s an awakening as my true nature – as what all content of my experience happens within and as, as emptiness full of my world, and oneness healing makes sense within this context without assuming anything about the true nature of the rest of the world or existence.

When I do oneness healing for others or for situations, and it works (it often does), then it does seem to require an assumption about the true nature of all of existence. It’s most easily explained by assuming that my true nature, as it appears to me, is the true nature of everyone and everything. It’s all consciousness, it’s all Spirit or the divine.

Direct noticing and how we may find it for ourselves

This all happens within direct and immediate noticing. Thoughts may guide attention but that’s about it. It’s not about thoughts or what happens within thoughts.

So how can we find this for ourselves, if we don’t already? The answer is the usual answers for what supports or invites awakening.

Training a stable attention helps for anything we wish to do, including this exploration of our true nature.

Basic meditation – notice and allow – is very helpful. It helps shift our center of gravity out of taking ourselves as limited content of experience (this human self) to the context for and all content of experience. (When I say “context” for our experience, I mean noticing ourselves as that which all our experiences already happen within and as.)

Heart-centered practices are helpful to shift how we relate to any content of experience. In some ways, it mimics what can happen naturally when what we are notices itself.

Inquiry helps us see through beliefs and identifications, and how our mind creates its own experience. It helps us see through what we are not, but sometimes perceive we are, and more easily notice what we are.

Some form of inquiry helps us notice what we are more directly, and explore and get familiar with it. (Headless experiments, Big Mind process.)

There are also many other helpful practices and explorations. In this context of oneness healing, the Big Mind / Big Heart process may be especially helpful. We can explore particular issues through dialog, and we can get a better sense of anything – including that which we have a strained relationship with – as the divine.

What’s the bigger picture of oneness healing?

From a big or spiritual understanding of awakening, it’s all happening within and as Spirit. The issue focused on, the person receiving healing, the one channeling, the healing itself, and all of it are local and temporary expressions of Spirit. It’s all part of Lila, of the divine expressing, exploring, and experiencing itself in always new and different ways.

From a small or psychological interpretation of awakening, it’s all happening within what we are – which a thought can label consciousness. It’s all happening within the play of consciousness.

In either case, it’s an opportunity to deepen, clarify, and live from the awakening.

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I will disappoint you


If we idealize, we’ll sooner or later be disappointed. It’s built into the process.

We may idealize a person, a situation, the past, the future, ourselves in the past or future, God, or something or someone else. It’s often an attempt to find safety somewhere, often outside of ourselves, and to fill a perceived hole in ourselves.

Reality doesn’t live up to our idealizations. And that’s a good thing since disappointment – used wisely – brings us back to ourselves. It helps us notice and take in that we are our own final authority. There is wisdom built into the disappointment, and it’s up to us to notice and make use of it.

Idealization-related disappointment and disillusionment is an invitation for us to notice several things. It’s an invitation to notice that we idealize. When we idealize. That the idealization comes from us and is not inherent in reality. That reality is more messy than the ideas we have about it. That we idealize for a reason, perhaps to find a sense of safety in relying on something outside of ourselves. And that we already are our own final authority, no matter how much we would like to tell ourselves otherwise.

Conversely, if others idealize us, we’ll likely eventually disappoint them. In some situations, it may be good to point that out, especially if this other person is a student or client. We can mention this dynamic before the disappointment happens, and bring attention to how it can be used in a constructive way.

Dream: Looking for my partner, staying underwater for as long as I want


My partner has fallen out of a boat and is drowning. I dive into the water to find her. At first, it’s difficult to hold the breath and see underwater, but then I find I can stay underwater for as long as I want, go as deep as I want, and I can see through the water clearly. I find her, bring her to the surface, and at first think she is dead. But it turns out she is alive. I am deeply grateful.

In the dream, I am not the one I am in waking life, and my partner is also not the one I have in waking life. Our genders are not one or the other. It seems that both of us are man and woman. Shortly after diving into the water, I find I can easily and fast move through it, I can stay as long as I want, and I can easily see through the water as if it was completely transparent.

We are more fundamentally human (and Spirit) than we are men and women, and we all have what we call feminine and masculine qualities. As soon as we see beyond our surface gender identities, we find ourselves as whole human beings.

I am able to be underwater for as long I want, I can swim easily, and I can easily see through the water. This may reflect that I am more comfortable dive into my sensations and emotions, it’s easier for me to stay with (in) them indefinitely, they are transparent to me and I can metaphorically see through them. I have had other dreams of being able to be underwater indefinitely.

My waking-life partner did a one-day Vortex Healing class yesterday and felt a bit disintegrated and flooded with old things surfacing after class. Perhaps that’s what I picked up when I dreamt she was drowning.

Update: The same morning I had this dream, my partner dreamt she was swimming underwater in the deep ocean at night.

I have lunch in a restaurant or café. Trump sits in a corner with his meal. He seems completely deflated and almost not alive. I sit at a table close to him but don’t feel I need to acknowledge him. The others there also know he is there but don’t acknowledge him.

It may be that Trump will lose the election and feel deflated like this. This is also how I see him beneath his reactivity and bluster: empty and deflated.

It’s also how I feel if I try to make myself something I am not, if I try to make myself important, if I try to inflate myself. Behind the inflation is deflation.

Dark night of trauma


As Adyashanti says, when the mind and heart open, they also open to what’s unprocessed in us. When the mind and heart open during an awakening process, they also open to trauma and any emotional issues that are here.

Sometimes, this is a trickle. Other times, it’s as if the flood gates have opened. This can be called a dark night of the soul, although that expression can refer to many different things. I think of it as a dark night of trauma.

It’s not a bug in the system, it’s a feature.

The awakening requires that all parts of our human self awaken. And that means that the unawake parts – the trauma and emotional issues – come to the surface to be seen, felt, recognized as the divine, and align with reality and oneness. These parts of us also want to join in with the awakening.

This is also essential for embodiment, for living from the awakening more consistently in daily life. When a particular trauma or emotional issue is resolved in us, the situations that previously triggered this issue – this bubble of separation consciousness in us – are situations we now can respond to with more clarity and kindness, and from oneness.

Since most of us have innumerable bubbles of separation consciousness in us, I suspect this is an ongoing process.

We may arrive at a place where our new habit is to relate to these bubbles in us with more intention, kindness, and clarity, and invite them to unwind and join with the awakening. But bubbles may continue to come up.

One purpose of talk therapy: to help us feel what we are feeling


What’s the purpose of talk therapy?

There are many answers to this question, and the answer depends on many things, including the therapist, client, issue, and approach.

Here are a few possibilities: to feel understood and respected, so we can more easily understand and respect themselves. To come to terms with past, present, and possible futures. To recognize, see through, and release stressful beliefs and assumptions. To learn to play well with the cards we are given in life or a situation. And to befriend ourselves,

There is another important element: To help ourselves feel what we are feeling. This one is not always made explicit although it’s an important part of the process.

Why is this important?

Avoding what we feel reinforces the scary thoughts we have about what we feel, it creates additional stress, and it can lead to a wide range of possible avoidance behaviors – including blame, judgment, compulsions, addictions, bigotry, and so on.

Moving towards allowing our experience comes with a lot of possible benefits. It can help us recognize and examine our scary thoughts about our experience and what it means (and see that these thoughts are not necessarily true). It helps us befriend ourselves and our experiences. It helps us relate to what’s coming up in us in a more conscious way. It creates some space to what’s coming up in us and our reaction to it. And it gives us space to relate to all of this more intentionally.

How can talk therapy help us feel our feelings?

In the best case, talk therapy can help us reframe and have some understanding of the triggering situation, what’s triggered in us, and how we relate to what’s triggered in us.

It’s a first step in befriending ourselves and our experiences, and relate to it all with a little more clarity and kindness. It can help make the feelings and the thoughts we associate with them seem less scary, and this is an important initial piece in healing.

Going beyond conventional talk therapy

For me, talk therapy is – at most – a first step.

There are many ways to go further, including subpersonality or parts work (dialog, acting out internal relationships), heart-centered practices (tonglen, ho’oponopno, metta), inquiry (The Work, Living Inquiries), Basic Meditation and noticing + allowing (Natural Rest), energy work (Vortex Healing), somatic work (Trauma & Tension Release Exercises, Somatic Experiencing), and much more.