Asking for the middle ground

 

Adyashanti sometimes talks about true prayer.

In front of the altar in the main temple of Bodh Gaya, I spent hours and days sincerely and deeply asking for complete awakening, no matter what it would cost. The sequence of events that led into the dark night started not long after.

A little less than two years ago, I asked to be shown what’s left, and a couple of weeks later was plunged into primal dread and terror lasting for almost a year.

And even now, bubbles of confusion (wounds, fears, beliefs) surface, and sometimes feel overwhelming.

It’s like cooking. If the heat is too high the food is burnt. If it’s too low, it doesn’t cook at all. And if it’s in the middle, it cooks well and in a reasonable time.

In my experience, asking to be shown what’s left, or asking for clarity no matter the cost, seems to invite in a quite hot fire. The universe was kind and gave me what I asked for. Another thing I got out of it is recognizing the value of medium heat, and that I can ask for that as well.

So now, when I remember, I ask for the middle ground. When bubbles of confusion surface, let it be in a way I can handle better, so I can relate to it with kindness and some wisdom.

In my experience, a true prayer feels like an alignment with what’s already ready to happen. If I leave out asking for how, the universe seems to turn up the heat to the point where I feel burnt. So I can ask for it to happen in a gentle way. In this case, medium heat seems to cook the food the best.

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Asking and prayer

 

In addition to others explorations, I often ask and pray.

Most often, I ask for guidance, to be shown what’s next, to be shown what I am not seeing about something, and for deep resolution at all levels (which includes finding peace with and loving what is).

It sometimes repeat thank you as a mantra and prayer, as an invitation for myself for a shift into gratitude, recognizing the gratitude that’s here, an expression of gratitude, and an exploration to see what happens when I include everything in my life – and especially what I tend to not feel grateful for – in this gratitude.

At times in my life, I have explored the Heart Prayer, saying Lord* Jesus* Christ** (in breath), have* mercy* upon me** (out breath) with the breath and heart beats (*).

I sometimes pray for the well-being of others, either individuals or groups including all humans, the world as a whole, and past and future generations. (Yes, also past.)

A year and a half ago, I asked – sincerely and deeply – to be shown what’s left, no matter how it would look. (As they say, be careful what you pray for – you may get it. I got plunged into primal terror and dread for weeks and months afterwards.)

And sometimes, I ask for something else. For many years, I asked for a life of service, benefiting myself and others, and I sometimes still do. A few days ago, I asked for my health to improve and for a good life (in a conventional sense), while also continuing clarifying and exploring new layers. At this point, it feels compassionate to ask for a good life in a conventional sense, along with a continuing maturing and clarifying.

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Asking

 

Sometimes, I ask to be shown, and some time later an answer, resolution or direction appears. Put a seed in the ground, and a plant may emerge.

Most recently, I asked to be shown how I can relate to talks (in the bodywork intensive I am attending) in a way that’s nurturing. And today, a couple of days later, I realized an answer had shown itself. The atmosphere is nurturing for me. It’s not (so much) about the words (although they too can be helpful, especially in reflecting or triggering my own beliefs which I can then take to inquiry).