My story with seeing energies (aura)

 

I have a few of these posts where I talk about more esoteric topics that are less directly related to healing or awakening. 

I don’t remember the exact timeline anymore. When I was 15, something happened for almost exactly a year where I experienced the world as far away. Looking back, I see that the sense of “I” was pulled into or as the observer and separate from what was observed. I didn’t understand what was happening and went to doctors who also could not figure it out. About a year later, there was a more full blown revelation of reality to itself. Everything was revealed as the divine and experienced by the divine. 

Somewhere in that period – I think it was the summer when I was 15 – I sat outside reading a book. I remember looking up at the trees and noticing a brightening outside of the edge of the leaves against the clear blue sky. I didn’t think much about it and assumed it was an optical illusion. 

Later, I kept seeing this light around plants. And people and animals. And also around inanimate objects. I would have assumed it was an optical illusion if there wasn’t for one thing: The light area around objects was different for different types of objects. It was quite simple and not so alive around inanimate objects. It extended further out and was more alive around plants. It extended further out and was more alive and had layers around animals. And it extended even further out and was more alive and more layered around humans. 

It was, and is, easier to see it against a plain and light background, but it’s not essential. It can be seen independent of background and lighting. 

From noticing the difference in the field around inanimate objects, plants, animals, and humans, I realized that the field reflects the degree of consciousness, self-awareness, and awakeness of whatever or whomever it’s around. 

Over the next few years, I met two women who themselves were relatively awake and saw auras. They both helped me feel more comfortable with it, and less crazy…! One was Hanne Bertelsen (she since changed last name), and she also helped me notice the cells in the aura. When I focus more directly on the aura, I see that it has cells. The other was my friend BH whom I met in a Tai Chi class. I remember sitting with her at the train station, looking at people’s auras, and comparing notes. We saw the same. 

Early on, I realized that people who see energies tend to see different aspects of it. We may tune in to something slightly different. And it can also change over time. (I only once has seen colors clearly, and it was in a Tai Chi class.) 

For me, it’s easiest to see how awake the energy field is, how awake it is to itself, and how far it extends. For most humans, there is some self-awareness reflected in the field although much of it can be relatively dense and not awake. In an early awakening phase, after some big openings, the energy field is more awake and can be very bright. Later, as the awakening clarifies and matures, the field becomes more subtle, awake throughout, and it extends out indefinetely

This can be helpful when meeting a spiritual teacher. I get a sense of how awake they are (yes, I know, it’s not a “they” to be awake), how mature the awakening is, and sometimes what type of practices they have used. (For instance, meditation tends to bring the level of awakeness up through the energy field. And more body-oriented practices tend to brighten the layer closest to the body.)  

It can also be interesting to see the effects of certain things on the energy field. For instance, during Vortex Healing classes, the energy level in and around people and in the room as a whole is off the chart. And as I keep doing Vortex courses, I notice a very clear difference in my own energy field – it’s more subtle, brighter, and more awake. 

One of my favorite things about seeing auras is that it’s an immediate reminder that all is divine, and all is the divine. Inanimate objects, plants, animals and humans are not only divine, but are the divine. 

This is also one of the things I rarely mention and only a few know this about me. (The ones who do are mostly people who see energies themselves.) Why don’t I mention it very often? Because it’s usually not relevant. It’s not necessary. In mainstream society it’s seen as weird (at best!). And if people know about it they may see people who see auras as special and that too is unnecessary.  

Why do I mention it here? For the sake of completeness and filling out the picture, to normalize it a bit, and it can be helpful for others who just noticed they can see it. 

And can everyone see auras? I suspect it’s something most of us or all of us can to some extent, especially if noticed and trained. I am not sure. 

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Side effects

 

I usually don’t talk about the bells and whistles that may go along with a process of Spirit noticing itself through a human life. And I also notice it doesn’t feel right to always leave it out, especially since someone may go through those things, happen upon this blog, and benefit from knowing it’s not uncommon at all.

So I’ll say a few things about my experiences here.

Initial opening/awakening phase. During this phase, several things happened. First, for about a year, there was a sense of being absorbed into the witness. The center of gravity shifted into the witness and (seemingly) away from what was witnessed, the content of awareness. This was quite disturbing in a sense, since I had no idea what was going on. I was a die-hard atheist at the time with no interest in Spirituality or God. I even went to the doctor to have tests to see if we could figure out what was going on. (I was 15 at the time.)

Then, there was a shift into Spirit recognizing itself as everything there is, with no exception. Some time into this, I remember sitting in the garden reading a book, looking up at the sky and the trees, and noticing a shine around the leaves on the tree above me. For a while, I thought it was some sort of optical illusion, until I – reluctantly (!) – realized it must be the energy field or aura of the tree. I then saw it in and around everything – inanimate objects (a simple aura at the global level), plants (an aura reflecting the aliveness of the plants), animals (more alive/complex aura) and humans (again more complex). Seeing this energy field in and around everything was yet another reminded that all is Spirit, all is God, all is awareness/awakeness. Along with this came what I later heard was called medical intuition, and the possibility of inviting in healing (getting a sense of what was going on, where it wanted to move to find healing, and inviting in changes at the “blueprint” level of the organism or being.)

Seeing auras has been helpful in seeing where spiritual teachers are at, how and in what way Spirit is awake to itself there. And I haven’t done much with the medical intuition/healing bit, mostly because I rarely talked about it so few asked for it, and also because it was clear that the cause/origin of illness or discomfort is at the level of how we relate to thought, so my interest instead went to different forms of meditation and inquiry.

During this phase, there were also a constant stream of synchronicities, often so others notice as well, and again as another reminder that all is Spirit. It’s a seamless whole, and movements within this whole appears as synchronicities. This too continues.

Diksha. I’ll mention another episode here that may be of interest. Some years back, I explored diksha. My memory of this is a bit fuzzy, so I’ll just mention a few things here. As I stood up after the initial session, there was a sense of something trickling from my head down the body, and of the body becoming translucent. This was followed by some days of a splitting and intense headache. A few days later, I walked in a forest (I was on a sustainability retreat) at night in the pitch dark, seeing the vegetation lit up and the path dark so it was easy to find my way (seeing all as energy was amplified). My companion could see anything and was surprised I could find my way.

A few days later, I was on my bed listening to the radio (Car Talk!) and my body started moving, twisting and shaking. The mechanism that connects intention and movement seemed disconnected, so there was just an observing of what was happening. This went on for 20 minutes or so. Again a few days later, “I” woke up in the middle of the night during a thunder storm, and there was just awareness and what was happening, with no awareness of anybody that this experience belonged to. After a few minutes, there was awareness of a body in the bed, and slowly and gradually, a thought that this awareness somehow was connected to this body, and then gradually a remembering that this was a human and more specific information.

During this time, attention became very stable during meditation. For instance, I would have on music to explore how thoughts tie together images of past, future and present, and it all fell apart. There was just sound, and not even that label, and nothing to tie images/memories of past, present and future sound into what could be called “music”. When I tried the indestructible crash helmet headless experiment, any sense of “I” fell away – apart from as an image not identified with anymore – and this lasted for about six months. My daily life went on as before, just without any possibility of identifying as an I. And this was followed by health problems and a quite dark dark night, showing me what was left at the human level.

Notes. These types of things seem quite ordinary and common in such a process. For some, it happens to a great extent. For others, almost not at all. And for most, it happens  during certain phases and less at other times. I suspect it’s just part of the mechanics of the process. Some of it – auras, synchronicities – is a reminder that all is Spirit. And some of it shows me what’s left. It brings up thoughts and beliefs, I get to see them, and can take them to inquiry. I may think it’s special, or that “I” am special, or it means something special. I may think that others will see me as weird, that it’s better to not say anything about it. I may think it means something is going right, or that something is wrong. And I am invited to question those thoughts, and find what’s more true for me.

Aura

 

A friend of mine recently asked about seeing auras, and I mentioned a few things about it.

There is a lot that can be said about it, as with any topic. And although it’s part of my everyday life, I usually don’t mention it in conversations or here. It’s more in the background, part of everyday experience. So to go contrary to my tendency, I can share a few things I notice.

For me, it’s mainly a reminded that all beings and things are Spirit. Form is Spirit. If the tip of the iceberg is the individual variations in the energy field, the main part of the iceberg is this reminder that everyone and everything already is Spirit.

It seems that different facets of the energy field is apparent to different people, and it may change over time. For me, it’s how aware the field is of itself that’s most obvious. It may be awake to itself throughout from the body and out through infinity, and I have noticed this with some folks like Adyashanti and Byron Katie. It may be relatively unawake to itself, almost asleep or dreaming (most folks). Or somewhere in between (most folks on a spiritual path). Again, this facet of the individual aura belongs to the tip of the iceberg, while the main part is shared and a reminder that everyone and everything is Spirit.

Both beings – animals, humans, plants – and inanimate objects have auras. All, without exception, are Spirit. It’s all awareness, whether it’s awake to itself or not. And it all appears as a form of light. I know this may sound a bit new agey, and it’s also the best way I can describe an immediate experience, how it appears in immediacy. Matter is Spirit is awareness is (a form of) light.

All auras stretch out infinitely, whether it’s awake to itself or not. This is perhaps not surprising since it’s all Spirit. It’s quite dense close to the body, especially for people who do body-centered activities such as yoga or tai chi, and some forms of sensation-oriented meditation. Then, there is a layer reflecting more emotional and mental activity. And beyond that is what’s often called spirit, what awakens to itself when we find ourselves as that which all happens within and as (awareness, capacity). (For me, it’s all Spirit.)

I notice – from myself and others – that during the initial awakening phase, illumination, the aura is often quite bright and luminous. For me, the energy field and my body was golden light during this phase. There may also be an inflow from above through the top of the head. And there is a sense that the energy field has more substance. I assume this helps the human self reorganize. And it reflects an early honeymoon phase. As this matures, sometimes following a dark night, this light becomes more clear, almost as clear air or water.

What’s the purpose of seeing auras for me? As I mentioned, it’s mainly an immediate and direct reminder that all is Spirit. I sometimes use it to check a teacher, to get a sense of where he or she is at. And I sometimes do the same for myself, to get a sense of what’s going on for me. (Using it this way, there is usually no surprise.) It can also be fun to notice the effects of different practices as reflected in changes in the aura. It may get brighter, or more awake to itself, or stabilize or reorganize itself a bit. In my late teens, the biggest surprise for me was seeing the effect of the Heart Prayer on the aura. After even just a brief period of heart prayer, looking at myself in the mirror, I saw a bright “flame” on the top of my head, similar to what’s depicted in some paintings of the disciples after the Holy Spirit descended. It’s perhaps not so surprising since it goes along with a noticeable activity/sensations on the top of the head, and also in the heart area.

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Flavors

 

I enjoy noticing the different flavor of auras, especially since they tend to mirror experience.

For instance, when what we are is awake to itself, the aura is uniform throughout (no center-periphery difference), the aura is infinite (as it is for all of us), and all areas of the field are awake to itself. And this mirrors the experience of center dropping out, infinity, and awakeness awakening to itself throughout the field.

When what we are is not awake to itself, there is a clear center-periphery difference in the field, and many areas – including and especially those more in the periphery – are as asleep, dormant, not awake to itself.

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Light – not just a metaphor

 

At the retreat last week, one of the participants quoted from a book describing seeing people and things as light. Joel said it is a metaphor, but is that really so?

I find that much of what may appear as a metaphor is really the most direct way of talking about certain experiences. Emptiness is really a noticing of the no-thingness that everything comes out of and is. Luminosity is really luminosity. The luminous blackness is really experienced as black.

In these cases, it is experienced quite directly as empty, luminous and a luminous blackness.

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Auras and sense of center

 

For those who can see auras, this can be a valuable check. Otherwise, it doesn’t really matter. (And can easily be a distraction, if it is seen as something special and/or desirable.)

Our energy system perfectly mirrors consciousness. They are really just two aspects of the same, which is why an wakening can be initiated from either side, and the other side follows.

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