Talking about awakening in either/or terms can be useful. There is some truth to it, and it makes it simple and highlights the differences.

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It is very popular these days to talk about “myths of awakening”, so I thought I would remind myself of a few of them….

It is very rare and special
Not really. It seems to happen far more frequently than most think. We only hear or see the tip of the iceberg, the few who also have an inclination to be a public teacher. There are quite a high percentage who have an intuition or glimpse of what they are, or even periods where it is very clear. And still quite a few where what they are recognize itself clearly and stably.

It happens once and for all
Sometimes, but usually not. It seems that for most, it happens first through glimpses, in periods or through a thinning of the veil, before it happens in a more clear and stable way. And as Byron Katie points out: We are awake – or not – to a thought. To the thought that is right here and now. Any stories of a stable awakening is just a projection into an imagined future.

We will get something out of it
That would be nice. But it is not entirely true, for two reasons. First, an awakening is a recognition that there is no “I” and never was, so there is no “I” to awaken or get something. Also, what we do get, in our human life, comes more from the process leading up to the awakening – through practice, maturing, healing and learning.

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Awakening is just the beginning. It is the most important turning point in our evolution because it marks the potential to live more purely as Essence in the world and less as ego. However, for most people the ego isn’t gone after awakening and can resurrect at times or operate surreptitiously. Ego-identification still occurs after awakening, but when it is happening it is usually recognized quickly, and so it doesn’t last long or have the power to cause suffering that it did before awakening. Most people’s egos are intact after awakening, but because there is a realization of who you really are, the ego is seen for what it is and recognized to be not who you are. When ego-identification happens, it’s more like you are watching yourself be identified, while you continue to be aware of yourself as Essence. There is a much greater capacity after awakening to not identify with the ego and to remain as Essence, which is an easeful experience of being in the flow that includes love easily flowing from you toward everyone and everything.

From an excellent post from Radical Happiness on What Happens After Awakening.

It is a good to see that so many teachers acknowledge the grittiness of the awakening process. The different things that may happen before and within an awakening, and how it may look on the ground.

At the same time, it is helpful to do so in a way that does not set up too many specific expectations and assumptions. One way is to emphasize that it can happen in many different ways: quick or drawn out, easy or difficult, with preparation or without. Assumptions equals a plan and can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

And as the article mentions, if we are experienced on the path and relatively mature and healed, the process may be smoother, and if we are less prepared and less mature and healed, then it may be a more bumpy ride for a while. So no matter what, and no matter where you are in the process, it is a good thing to work on growing up as well as waking up.

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Any belief is hubris.

I tell myself I know how things are, and not only that, how things should be. I know better than God, life, the Universe, reality.

Life will inevitably rub up against these beliefs. I can struggle against it and try to hold onto my beliefs and suffer. Or, through grace, I can find some receptivity and allow the beliefs to wear off, or more actively inquiry into them to find what is more honest for me.

In this way, life is a humbling process. A process of friction between life and beliefs, and a wearing away of these beliefs.

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Here is what is so obvious when it is realized, so utterly simple, and so almost completely impossible to get when it is not directly noticed:

Reality – what we are and everything is – is already awake. Inescapably. Already awake independent of whether it shows up as clarity or confusion, experiencer or experienced, awake to itself as what it really is or not. It is simply the everyday run-of-the mill awakeness we are all so intimately familiar with that we often don’t even notice it.

And when we do notice, it may appear as “other” if we are identified as something within content of this awakeness such as this human self, a doer, an observer. It may even appear to come and go if we tell ourselves stories that confusion = less awakeness (not true if we look), or that sleep/being unconscious means the awakeness goes away (not really true either).

The second form of being awake is already mentioned. Reality – what we really are – can be awake to itself as what it really is, or not.

So reality is already awake. Awake no thing appearing as something. Vast. Timeless. That which all content of experience – including extent, duration, a doer, an observer – happens within and as.

And also, it can be awake to itself as what it really is, or not. This shift is a blip and pales in comparison with the vast timelessness of the other, although it is usually experienced as quite significant, and does have a significant impact on the life of this human self. When reality is awake to itself, this human self is liberated from being identified with and is allowed to realign within this new context of reality awake to itself.

One is what is already here, inescapably. The other is noticing it, or not.

How can I notice and explore this, in a simple and practical way?

I can use headless experiments. The Big Mind process. Investigating sense fields. And many other forms of gently guided inquiry into what is already here now. Inquiries that sets aside our habitual assumptions (stories) for a while, and allows attention to go to what is already here.

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A paradox of Awakening is that, from one perspective, it may be described as an event in time that somehow changes something about experience at a fundamental level. It is a radical shift from a dualistic to nondualistic way of consciousness. Yet, from another perspective, it may be described as Awakening to a timeless dimension that is recognized as having always been present and always will be present. It is not a recognition of anything new, and it does not involve any change in the contents of consciousness. Which is it? This is a kind of koan of Awakening.

From an excellent post on What changes with awakening? found at True Nature: Notes on Spirit and Science.

Live up to your attainment with care.
- Sixth Patriarch

A few more things about this….

I can use a more yang or yin approach to live up to my attainment with care. A yang approach may be: don’t not allow yourself to fall into old patterns. (Don’t think you are absolutely right, protect a viewpoint etc.) While a yin approach may be to simply notice the symptoms of identifying with a viewpoint, and then find what is more true for me. Can I find the freedom to use one or the other, or both, depending on what seems most helpful in the situation?

Also, living up to your attainment means to live with integrity, to live from absolute and relative truths. When I live from relative truths, I live in ways that seem the most sane, mature, wise and kind, even in a conventional sense. And living from absolute truth is to remind myself of what I really am, and that there is no absolute truth inherent in any story or viewpoint. I use stories as practical guidelines for attention and action, chose the stories that seem the most helpful and appropriate in the situation, in the context of don’t know.

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Live up to your attainment with care.
- Sixth Patriarch

In this koan (see the full text below), Myo awakened. (Reality awakened to itself, awakened from temporarily taking itself to be Myo.)

And after awakening, there is the process of living from it with care. It can easily be obscured, and that happens as soon as we take any story as true or identify with any viewpoint.

As Byron Katie says, we are awakened – or not – to a thought. The thought that is here now.

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Let him who seeks continue seeking until he finds. When he finds, he will become troubled. When he becomes troubled, he will be astonished, and he will rule over the All.
- Gospel of Thomas, verse 2.

First, we seek God or truth in whatever way we go about it. Prayer. Inquiry. Service.

Then, we get troubled. Especially if we realize that the inevitable outcome of the process – if its runs its full course – is the death of (identification with) everything we thought we were, and can think we are.

Then, astonished. Astonished of what is revealed. How simple it is. Obvious. Never not here.

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Adya has a good way of talking about awakening and enlightenment, if I understand it correctly.

Awakening is a glimpse of what we are, or of what we are noticing itself. It can happen more or less clearly, and for shorter or longer periods of time. (Non-abiding awakening.)

Then, there is a process of clarifying and embodying this awakening. To clarify what we are, and to reorganize and realign our human life within that new context.

Eventually, the last bits of identification with stories may wear out and identification shifts (back) into what we are. (Abiding awakening.)

And before and after that happens, our human self continues to realign and reorganize. To heal, mature, develop skillful means. Live more and more in integrity.

This is a common observation: the awakening process seems to stitch together what and who we are.

It brings what we are into the foreground, maybe first as a glimpse or not completely clear. Then our human self into the foreground, allowing it to reorganize within this new context. Then back to what we are, maybe in a more clear way. Then back to our human self for more realignment and reorganization. And so on. Often, the dips into the human self can be quite tough since what needs to reorganize is everything, including the shadow, and every last belief and identification eventually needs to go, often through being worn out through the grittiness of daily life. The more resistance, the tougher it may seem.

It is not always like this, of course. At times, both may be there at once and there is not the sense of shuttle going back and forth. And the process can be quick or slow, experienced as difficult or easy, and is always different – either obviously so or in the details.

People may tells us what will happen, we may be familiar with any number of maps, something may have happened for us in the past, but the truth is that we don’t know until we go through it, and often not even then! As Byron Katie says, expectations is a plan, and when we have a plan, we may resist what doesn’t fit, and do our best – sometimes without noticing – to make it into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The value in this particular story is that it can help us resist swings less, if they happen, and even support the reorganization of our human self – for as long as that is possible. It can make it a little easier for this human self.

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Draft…

There are many tools for inviting in awakening, and each one may well be sufficient on its own. Not that many use only one, or that I really know.

I can work with projections. Noticing all stories as happening within my own world of images. Finding here now the qualities and dynamics I see in the wider world.

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M: … but in reality if he went out and used again, it could be tough for me.

Byron Katie: Oh, there’s a plan. “I think I will plan that.” [M laughs.] If you want to know your plan, look at your mind. It will show you. “That will be tough.” There’s a plan.

On my way through PDX to San Francisco, I read short sections of Who Would You Be Without Your Story and then stayed with it for a while, letting it work on me.

The quote above especially made an impression on me, maybe because it is something I have explored on my own lately.

When I have an expectation, I have a plan. I have a plan for how it will turn out, and I may either interpret what happens so it fits my expectation, or act so it is more likely to happen – to the extent it can at least.

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When we sacrifice something, we do it as an act of devotion or in the hopes of receiving something back. We sacrifice something precious to us – food, wine, gold, money, and in some cultures even people. And we may hope to receive prosperity, abundance, good crops, safety or something else precious to us. We sacrifice something precious as an act of devotion, or to receive something even more precious. 

And something quite similar happens in the context of awakening. Here, we are asked to sacrifice what is most precious to us, our identifications with stories and identities, with a me and an I. This invites what we are to notice itself, which is even more precious. And only when we clearly recognize that as more precious are we ready to sacrifice what we are asked to sacrifice: identification with everything we have ever taken ourselves to be. 

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Joel (from the Center for Sacred Sciences) gave his traditional Christmas talk on the 25th, and I missed it unfortunately. The audio will be available in a few weeks and can be ordered from the center. 

The talk was on the nativity scene as a mandala, or seen as a dream or teaching story, and a friend was kind enough to send me a brief summary as he remembered it. 

Here are a few things based on that summary, with additions on my own. This has already gone through a few filters, so it only reflects my own take on it. Not necessarily what Joel said. 

The virgin birth. The awakening is born of spirit, not of the human. It is what we are awakening to itself. The timeless now awakening as always and already here. It does not come from and cannot be initiated by anything human. It is grace.

The stable. Awakening can happen in ordinary and humble circumstances. It also embraces and is often lived through ordinary and humble circumstances.

The shepherds. Awakening includes the ordinary in our lives. And it is available to ordinary and humble people.

The wise men. (Sometimes kings.) Wisdom is in the service of awakening. The ruling views and habits align with and are in the service of what we are awake to itself. 

Animals. Awakening embraces and is lived through our animal and human nature. 

The star. A guiding star. Also the presence of the celestial. Spirit. That which all experience happens within and as. What we are. 

The angels/messengers. ??? (Maybe the knowing that comes with awakening. The obviousness of Ground awake to itself as the awake no-thing appearing as the myriad forms and experiences.)

The baby. The innocence of awakening. Not knowing. Curiosity. Wonder. 

The gifts. An offering of what we take as most precious. A sacrifice of our most precious stories and identities. 

All of this reflects the fruits of awakening, and are also guides and pointers for the path. 

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Stephen Bodian has been a student of Buddhism (Zen and Tibetan) and Advaita for decades, is a psychotherapist, and is coming from a clear awakening, and all of that is reflected in his most recent book Wake Up Now.

It is clear. Practical. And when I read it, I am struck by how a lifetime of experience is beautifully condenced into each paragraph and sometimes each sentence. 

He is also the author of Meditation for Dummies which I read this summer and found very helpful. 

And while Meditation for Dummies – appropriately enough – emphasize making our human experience a little easier, Wake Up Now is all about inviting what we are to notice itself and living from within that context. 

I can’t think of many other books that I can recommend more warmly for both newbies and more experienced folks.

Draft…

When I look at desires and motivations, I find two main types.

One type of desire comes from our human self. We want to get something. And mainly, we want to avoid suffering and find happiness. 

This makes sense in an evolutionary perspective. It is how the human individual and species takes care of itself. 

And it is also what happens when we identify with any story. There is a sense of an I with an Other. And we want to take care of that I. 

Another type of motivation is a quiet love for God or truth. This seems to be more of a remembrance of what we are, and a quiet longing back. 

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We see ourselves in others… 

So when what I am is awake to itself here, there is a recognition that all is already awake. Sometimes it notices. (When a human self functions within the context of what we are as awake to itself.) And sometimes not. (When a human self functions within the context of what we are as not awake to itself.) There is a clear practical difference, but all happening with all as already awake to itself.  

When what I am is awake to itself, all is recognized as already awake, whether it notices or not. 

And if what we are is not awake to itself, we may take awakening and delusion as much more solid and polarized whether it happens here, in this human self, or there, in other human selves. 

Similarly, when what we are is awake to itself, we notice that there is only a pretending to take stories as true. Delusion is only a game. Sometimes it is noticed. (When what we are is awake to itself, and functions through a human self.) And sometimes not. (When what we are is not awake to itself.) 

So when what we are is awake to itself, and this human self functions within that context, there is a recognition that in other human selves there is – at most – a pretending to believe in stories. To them, those beliefs may appear very true and substantial. But here, they are recognized as only pretending.

I will of course take into account that for them, those beliefs seem real. I can meet them where they are. But I will also recognize that they are really pretending. I know they can notice. And there is no need to take it too seriously. 

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When we notice – quite clearly – what we are, there is a waking up out of stories. 

There is a waking up out of the story of I. A doer. Observer. Thinker. An I with an other. A center with periphery. An inside and an outside. 

And with it is a waking up of any other story as well, including the stories of maps, models, religions, spirituality and practices.

We see that what we – already and always – are, cannot be touch by any of those stories. They can be very helpful in a purely practical sense, for this human self to function in the world and explore who it is and what it really is.

But they are also, quite literally, imaginary. They are creations of the mental field, overlaid on pure perception. And reality cannot be touched by any of them. Not in a conventional sense. And not in the context of all as God.

Each story has a temporary and practical value only. 

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[...] After a while, and it can vary for different people, one will have gone through many cycles—with what will appear to be an underlying cycle beneath these surface cycles. When the underlying cycle comes to completion, the surface cycles and deeper cycle converge with a fruition, and there is a dramatic shift in perception where one begins to see what is meant by emptiness, now in real-time. This shift, which is the 3rd stage of enlightenment, has to do with seeing the empty, selfless nature of reality upon mere reflection. Where once emptiness was contained in the discontinuity experience at the end of an insight cycle, it now permeates all of experience. It comes obvious, for those of 3rd path, what is meant by the lines from the Heart Sutra, “form is emptiness.”

The time between 3rd path and 4th path tends to be the longest yet. Ingram breaks 3rd path into early and mature phases. In the early phase one is still looking for the cycles to bring further progress, whereas in the mature phase emptiness is so ordinary and integrated into one’s experience that the inquiry turns away from the cycles and toward the last subtle hints of duality, which remain.

Finally, there is another radical shift in perspective, in which the sense of a separate center-point, observer, or doer is completely undone. Apparently this realization can occur and then fade for some time, until finally the shift is permanent (i.e. nothing can interrupt this centerless perspective). This is the opening of the “wisdom eye”, the attainment of arhantship, and as Ingram says is the end of insight path: “For the arahat who has kept the thing open, there is nothing more to be gained on the ultimate front from insight practices, as ‘done is what is to be done’.” It’s also interesting to note that it’s difficult to predict how long it will take from 3rd to 4th path. It tends to be the longest path, though I have so little data (even anecdotal) that it’s really hard to say. [...]

A great overview from Vince of a four-phase model of awakening, drawn from Daniel Ingram’s book Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha, in turn drawn from traditional Buddhist teachings.

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At our human level, we see ourselves in others and the wider world in general. The world is a mirror for what is right here.

And it is interesting to note that the same happens in awakening. When what we are awakens to itself, there is the recognition that – now quite obviously – all is already awake. Only that it doesn’t always recognize it.

There is a human self here functioning within the context of awakeness awake to itself. And someone there where the awakeness does not – yet – notice itself. At least not as what it and everything really is.

So in awakening, it is as if the whole world awakens. It awakens to itself as already awake.

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When there is an awakening – either as a stable and clear Ground awakening or just a glimpse or thinner veils – it wants to go everywhere in our human life.

To put it another way: within this context of awakening, anything that is not aligned with awakening sticks out like a sore thumb and attention is drawn to it.

There is an invitation to be with and welcome any experience, to see/feel/love it as it is within form, and as emptiness itself. And there is an invitation to inquire into any story and see its limited truth within the context of stories, and that too as awakeness itself.

And as usual, to the extent this is resisted there is discomfort.

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Some of the things that seem to often precede awakening…

• Nothing at all. It comes out of the blue. The person may have no interest in religion or spirituality, and have done no spiritual practice. Although for many, there may be a great deal of psychological stress and a sense of being at the end of the rope before the shift, as happened with Byron Katie, Eckhart Tolle, and even me. (I was an atheist at the time of the initial awakening.) There is a ripeness there somewhere, in terms of being ready to give it all up – all identifications, all hope.
• Intention. A clear and refined intention to know God, to know truth, to wake up. This may go along with practice and prayer or not.
• Trying hard and failing. Trying hard to awaken through a range of practices, and thoroughly failing. Exhausting all possibilities.
• Practice. Engaging in a range of practices that invite in a thinning of the veils. The “distance” between what is here and awakening gets smaller, although the final shift doesn’t happen through practice.
• Shaktipat. An energy transfer that invites in awakening, such as diksha.

And finally grace. Grace is always what invites in the shift to awakening. Whatever a separate I can seem to do is not enough. It can prepare the ground, but that is all. As Baker Roshi said, awakening is an accident and practice makes us accident prone.

Also, is there really a “leading up to” awakening? The awakening is an awakening out of the stories of time and causality, and also the story of awakening not being here already. From here, there is no leading up to it, although there is also the freedom to use those stories as skillful means.

Before passing the gateless gate (noticing clearly what we are), the goal of awakening may be held to quite strongly. It may seem very important, almost a matter of life or death.

Yet, when the gate has been passed, it is recognized as not important at all. “Awake” or “deluded” are equal. We realize that there is nothing but God, always and already awake, and either noticing that or not. If it notices, it is “awake” in a conventional sense, and if not, it is caught up in imagining itself to be a human being.

What shifts this is the realization that although it is all God – already and always awake – there is an experience of suffering, and of a separate someone suffering, so compassion comes up. And a desire to help alleviate this suffering, either through conventional ways or by aiding awakening.

It is clearly seen as part of the game and having no absolute value, but it is still done because we have to do something. And the heart moves us.

Ken Wilber mentioned this somewhere, and I am sure others do as well: The value of states in an awakening context is that we – eventually – find ourselves as that which these states happen within and as.

Content of awareness comes and goes. Clarity and confusion. Samadhi and scattered attention. Kensho and a sense of a separate I. Bliss and dullness. Allowing experience and getting caught up in the drama of it.

Yet through it all, something does not change. All of this happens within and as what we are, as awakeness itself.

And eventually, after having cycled through all of this often enough, that becomes more and more obvious. Whatever happens is awakeness itself. It is the play of awakeness itself. And it doesn’t matter what the content of that play is, in this context.

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For those who can see auras, this can be a valuable check. Otherwise, it doesn’t really matter. (And can easily be a distraction, if it is seen as something special and/or desirable.)

Our energy system perfectly mirrors consciousness. They are really just two aspects of the same, which is why an wakening can be initiated from either side, and the other side follows.

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Only one insight is required and sufficient for awakening, and that is the – alive and direct – insight into what we really are. That which content of awareness happens within and as.

All other insights are independent of awakening. They can happen before or after awakening, and there is also no end to them.

And if we are lucky, they have a practical – although temporary and limited – value.

Some insights can sometimes help our human self function in the world – including help with its healing, maturing and development of skillful means. This is the worldly wisdom.

And some insights can sometimes serve as a pointer for noticing what we really are, or rather – for what we are to notice itself. These are the insights into the dynamics of samsara, into how and when to apply certain pointers to notice what we are, and the insight into what we are that comes from directly noticing what we are – even if it is not yet a full blown awakening.

So insights can have an immense value in these practical and limited ways, and it may be helpful to notice that their value is practical and limited. Especially if we get caught up in unfolding insights for their own sake, since that too can become a trap.

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Awakenings are funny things, and come in all different flavors and dynamics. Here are a few things I have noticed from my own – very limited – experience…

First, the difference between the awakeness that is always and already here, and the one that is awake to itself. Everyone -and everything – already is this awakeness, even if there is a “knot” there creating a sense of a separate I. The only difference is that when there is an awakening, this awakeness is awake to itself. It notices itself – and all of its content – as awakeness itself.

On the one hand, it is a pretty insignificant difference. It is all the play of awakeness anyway, whether it notices itself or not. Yet, on the other hand, it also makes a big difference. It is the difference between drama (being caught in it) and absence of drama.

Then, the difference between soul level awakenings and Ground awakening. At the soul level, all is revealed as God (consciousness, awareness, Big Mind, etc.), yet there is still a subtle sense of a center, a separate I, a vague sense of I-Other. There is an I here that is One with all, and that all is God. There is a sense of content of awareness – all content – awakening to itself as God.

A Ground awakening washes all of that out. The center falls out. There is not even a subtle sense of an I-Other, and what seemed like a subtle sense of a separate I at the soul level awakening does not appear very subtle anymore. This is the Ground of experience awakening to itself.

Then, the difference between tastes, glimpses and more stable awakenings.

It is quite possible, for just about anyone, to have a pretty good sense of what it is about – through for instance headless experiments, the Big Mind process, and other pointing out instructions and guided processes. It gives a taste of it, which can be extremely helpful in the process. It helps clarify what it is about. This happens in the midst of all sorts of beliefs in stories (many of them wordless, for instance in the form of images), so it is no more than an intuition or a somewhat fuzzy taste.

There can be a full blown awakening – at either soul or Ground levels, but it gets covered up again. I am quite familiar with this pattern, and it is an invitation to continue to clarify and invite knots to unravel. It is actually a very good place to be since we get to dip into the awakening now and then, and also work with the process from the other – less awakened – side. These awakenings are glimpses that can last for minutes, hours, days, months or years. And even when it is covered up, we still know very well that whatever beliefs, knots and hangups come up are really just mirages – insubstantial, creations of the mental field only.

The more stable awakenings are different only in that they seem to hang around. Since soul level awakenings have to do with content of awareness, and this content of awareness is always in flux, these come and go even if they seem to hang around for a long time. A Ground awakening is not dependent on content of awareness in the same way, so that one seems a little different.

And finally, how the awakening is expressed through this human self. Whatever awakening is there, or not, it is always expressed through this human self and the characteristics of this human self. And this human self can be more or less healed, mature and skillful.

One of the beautiful things about life is that I always only scratch the surface. The unfolding never ends.

This was clear to me even in the initial awakening. It was “complete” in the sense of a Ground awakening, with an absence of I-Other. And it was immensely full since it was combined with a soul level awakening. But there was also a clear recognition that there was infinitely further to go. Within Ground awake to itself, its play continues to unfold in always new ways.

And if the awakening to what we are is not as clear or stable as it can be, then that one too continues to unfold – until the center drops out, and there is not even a hint of a separate I here anymore, just this human self and everything else living its own life.

In terms of the unfolding of the content – of the play of form – there is always further to go in terms of healing and maturing of this human self, and skillful means in terms of how it lives in the world. And there is always further to go in terms of soul levels awakenings and how these allow the human self to reorganize and realign. (Just in my limited experience, there has been a great deal of facets here – yang luminosity, yin luminous darkness, alive infinitely loving and insightful presence, and much more.)

So even in the midst of an awakening – no matter how “complete” or “full” it seems – there is always further to go. It is always only scratching the surface. And it is a beautiful process.

What I find is that what I really want is awakening. No matter what the surface intention or want is, when I look at it and peel back the layers, I find that it always goes back to a desire for awakening. For coming home, truth, freedom from suffering, a quiet joy, of all awakening to itself as Ground.

And I also find that many sides of my don’t want awakening. Instead, I want all the surface wants. The shorter term things that enhance this separate I. Yet, these are false – insubstantial – wants. Mirages that appear when I take a story as true.

So as long as I am not clear on my real motivations, there is a mix of the two. I sincerely want to awaken. But I also want to enhance this separate I in different ways. Which is why it is so helpful to clarify motivation. It helps see through the surface motivations, see that they each are mirages created from taking stories as true, and that each of them lead back to the essential desire for awakening.

There are so many practices that are complete – or sufficient – in themselves. And this seems to be one of them. The process itself takes us right to awakening.

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