Another energy drawing. Showing the luminous black below and the clear colorful luminosity above.

I got the inspiration to make some energy doodles last week. As usual, I don’t assume they reflect anything you would actually find in the energy system. (Although it could happen). Mostly, I take them as projections telling me something about where I am right now. (Even if they did reflect something actually going on energetically, they would still be important and useful as projections.)

What I mostly see in these is an emphasis on the luminous dark below the body. A velvety luminous blackness, seen through and in everything, centered in the body in the belly, inviting in a healing at the emotional level and a felt sense of all as God.

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For those who can see auras, this can be a valuable check. Otherwise, it doesn’t really matter. (And can easily be a distraction, if it is seen as something special and/or desirable.)

Our energy system perfectly mirrors consciousness. They are really just two aspects of the same, which is why an wakening can be initiated from either side, and the other side follows.

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“The single thing that comes close to a magic bullet, in terms of its strong and universal benefits, is exercise.”

“The data show that regular moderate exercise increases your ability to battle the effects of disease,” Dr. Moffat said in an interview. “It has a positive effect on both physical and mental well-being. The goal is to do as much physical activity as your body lets you do, and rest when you need to rest.”

The New York Times has a great little article on the universal benefits of exercise: You Name It, and Exercise Helps It.

When I look at the effects of exercise, I see that the benefits seem to come through flow and capacity. Exercise get things moving and builds capacity.

And that is true for exercise at any level.

At the thought/mental field level, inquiry into beliefs gets things unstuck. It also builds capacity for inquiry, and for seeing a story as only a story.

At the emotional level, being with and allowing experience allows the content of experience to flow and move on. And it builds capacity for being with and allowing experience.

At the energetic level, exercise - such as different forms of yoga - again invites flow and capacity. The energies get moving, and it builds capacity for working with and holding energies.

At the body level, aerobic and non-aerobic exercise obviously gets things moving and unstuck, at all levels, and also builds capacity.

And the same is also true for relationships. Working consciously with relationships invites them to flow and unstick, and it builds capacity for working with relationships and allowing them to flow.

I have mentioned this before, but I noticed again today.

I used to have a moderate scoliosis in the lower back, with the most noticeable misalignment right at the level of the navel. And that is exactly where I have noticed an energetic hole since the initial awakening. Along with this, there was a sense of a generally weak hara, and also a neurotic pattern of irritability over certain sounds. (People eating loudly, rustling loudly with the newspaper, talking loudly in public, etc.)

Since I started doing Breema, my hara has been filling up more, and has a much higher baseline level. After a while, there was a sense of the energetic hole filling up, and the scoliosis is much weaker. (I have also received massage for the scoliosis). And  following that, I have noticed that the neurotic pattern has lessened quite significantly and is often absent in situations where it used to arise.

My sense is that the Breema helped the hara fill up, with a nurturing fullness and trust, which in turn invited the neurotic pattern to shift, helped along with The Work inquiries on people making sounds. And the massage invited the spine to realign, probably helped along with the energetic shifts in that same area.

I don’t write much about “paranormal” stuff, mainly because it is not very important, and because it can easily become entertainment and a distraction from what is more essential.

But I also realized that I have beliefs, identities and habitual patterns around not talking about it, so it may be useful to try something different in small doses, just to get it out of the way.

So here is one small dosage…

When we believe in stories, there is automatically a sense of I and Other, and a sense of a center, usually located in our human self, or sometimes in a sense of an “observer” or “witness” not so directly related to this human self.

And when Ground awakens to itself, it realizes that there is no I with an Other anywhere, and there is no longer any sense of a center.

This is actually reflected in the aura in a very direct way, and it is something that can have practical use too.

When there is a sense of a separate I, the aura tends to be more condensed, especially closer to the body, and there is a sense of everything converging on the human self. This is also the case when there is a soul level awakening, an awakening to the alive presence and all as God, yet with a subtle (or not so subtle) sense of a separate I remaining.

The aura is different in the two cases, with more confusion and less awakeness in the energies in the first case, and more order, flow, awakeness and receptivity outwards in the second, but the sense of a center is there in both cases along with it tapering off further away from the body.

This all changes when there is a Ground awakening. Here, there is no longer any sense of a center. The aura is clear, incredibly finely grained, awake, and uniform throughout space with no sense of it ending anywhere. (Although the portion of the aura immediately around the body may be stronger/brighter if they do body-centered practices.)

I sometimes use it just for practical purposes, for instance to see where a teacher is. At the soul level? Ground awakening? Somewhere in between?

Of the ones I have met in person who have a very clear Ground awakening, are Adyashanti, Byron Katie, Joel at CSS, and a few others.

I my teens, I discovered a tea which had a profound effect on me, nourishing me deeply throughout the body and energetically. It is made by Stangeland who worked with energy medicine, and put together different teas to nurture us in the ways our modern foods and life often does not. I have used it occasionally since then, most recently right now, and am still amazed by how deeply nurturing I experience it. Especially when I feel depleted for one reason or another.

The tea can be ordered through their website, which is only in Norwegian. (But you can email.) The basic tea is called “basis te”, which I now use in combination with the chakra tea.

They recommend simmering for a couple of hours, store in the fridge, and drink half a cup two or three times a day. I cheat and make it as an infusion (which in my experience works as well, and is easier): Fill a jar with hot water and add the tea (a couple of large spoons), let it sit for a while, and store cold. I also refill once or twice with hot water to get more out of the herbs.

There are many ways to invite in a form of buffering at energetic or soul levels, being held energetically or within the alive presence in ways that helps us get less caught up in reactiveness.

We can fill up the hara through Breema and other practices. We can receive different forms of energy transmissions, such as the bands of power munai-ki rite, that serves as a buffer, filter and protection. (I am noticing the effects of that one right now, which is what prompted this post.) We can invite in the soul level, the alive presence, through prayer and other practices. And more.

The benefits are pretty obvious. Our lives at a human level typically becomes far easier. Fewer things bug us. There is a sense of not being touched by what we previously got caught up in. It makes it much easier to be who we take ourselves to be if we are identified with stories, and it makes it easier for this human self even if we are not. We get a sense of how it is to live released from being in the grips of stories and identifications. We see that something else is possible.

Our human self may also reorganize and stabilize within this new context, releasing identification more and more over time. It may even lead into what we are noticing itself, finding itself as awakeness, and this field of awakeness and form inherently and always free from an I and an Other.

But there are also some possible drawbacks. We can get complacent, happy with being protected by the buffer, not taking up the invitation to explore more in depth the hooks and rings of identification and beliefs in stories. And that is exactly why any buffer is only temporary. It is within the realm of form, it is content of awareness, and as any form and any content, it will change. When it fills, it only does so to empty. And when it empties, it does so only so it can in turn fill.

It is cyclical, as anything else, and throughout it all is the invitation for us to investigate the hooks and rings more closely. An invitation for what we are to notice itself.

Any buffer is a buffer or protection for who we are, for this human self. And the invitation for what we are to awaken to itself is there independent of buffers or not.

A drawing from earlier today, which may or may not say anything about what is going on energetically, but at least reflects what is going on otherwise - as does anything we express, intentionally or unintentionally through movement, voice, music, drawing, or anything else.

In the interest of accuracy, I should mention that the strong/dark roots going down vertically were made mostly out of old habit, of a memory of how I used to make these drawings, and the rest were more immediate and reflecting what is alive here now. So in my mind’s eye, those vortex roots going down are either much reduced in dominance or not there.

In talking with someone local who has done Buddhist meditation for a couple of decades, and is also a diksha giver, I was reminded of the energy/consciousness and self/other grid, and also how much I appreciate being free to move among and include each of the quadrants.

In the awakening process, we can work from the energy side or consciousness side, each supporting and in mutual influence with the other. And we can also do our own work, or have it done for us (shocking, for many in a Buddhist world view.)

Diksha, and any other form of shaktipat, is an example of work on the energy side influencing the consciousness side, and also an example of the “other” quadrant. It is something that is given to us from outside of this human self, without much or any effort on our own part.

Regular meditation and inquiry is an example of self-initiated work on the consciousness side, which inevitably influences the energy side.

Different forms of yoga is an example of self-initiated work on the energy side.

And in terms of other-initiated work on the consciousness side, I am not sure. Maybe different forms of pointing-out instructions, such as the Big Mind process, could fall into this quadrant, although these are more of a other-self partnership.

We can of course also include other levels here, such as the physical. Self-initiated work here include exercise and yoga, and other-initiated work includes massage and other forms of bodywork.

The benefit of limiting oneself to one quadrant or side of the grid is that we get to explore that one in depth. We get intimately familiar with that part of the terrain. The drawback may be slight one-sidedness, both in view and practice. We may end up discounting the other side of the grid. And we may end up being overly self-reliant, reinforcing a sense of a separate self and a “doer” that way. Or we may end up being overly other-reliant, not trusting what can be initiated from this - the human self - side.

So with all of this available to us, why limit ourselves to any one quadrant, or even any one side of the grid? In my experience, it all goes hand in hand, seamlessly, with activities in each quadrant shedding some light on the other quadrants. Each one contributing to exploring the terrain in slightly new ways.

As with any map, this grid is false and also potentially useful in a practical way.

Even if we focus on one quadrant, each of the other ones are included. I may focus on self-initiated meditation and inquiry, which in turn influences the energy, and also invites Ground as “other” to notice itself. I initiate prayer, and “other” comes in and shifts both energy and consciousness. I receive diksha, and lots of old patterns come up to be seen, and I actively stay with it and may even work with beliefs around it. Or I receive diksha, and go into samadhi, which helps me inquire into what is here now in more detail.

And without the boundaries created by this map, we see that it is all a seamless whole of awake void and form, only with appearances of I and Other, consciousness and energy. It is all the play of God, it is all Lila.

During fall and winter, I experienced a lot of (energetic) activity in the hara area, and specifically around the spine (L3-4)…

Since the initial awakening in my teens, I have been aware of an energetic hole that area. I also had scoliosis (side curve) right there, which since then has improved quite a bit with consistent work, shifting into a slight kyphosis (in-out curve).

With the endarkenment shift, there was a sense of a good deal of activity and work happening in that area. And now, the energetic hole is filled in and the area feels much stronger and more solid in general. The remaining alignment of the vertebrae has also improved (just a subtle in/out alignment left for a couple of vertebrae).

The area also seems connected with basic trust, in Existence, life, and ultimately God. The energetic hole seemed, even back in my teens, associate with a lack of basic trust (even in the midst of experiencing all as awake, empty luminosity, and as God). And now, with it filling up, there is a much deeper sense of basic trust… of being held… in and as the luminous blackness.

I just came across this description of a kundalini awakening, which is an especially clear, honest and touching account. It doesn’t happen for everyone that way, and doesn’t have to it seems, but it is good to know about.

Kundalini awakening or bi-polar surfacing? by Kara-Leah Masina.

It has been a cautious path forward, seeking answers, observing myself. The peak of my experience was the psychosis, but after Kundalini Awakens, it still needs to integrate into your system. Over the last two years, I have continued to experience energy moving up my spine. I have had energy releases from my solar plexus. And perhaps most frightening of all, I have witnessed my body moving through mudras and asanas that I had no conscious knowledge of. [...]

This sensation of energy moving up the spine started in 2000 for me, at the very base of my tailbone. I could observe it slowly rising when I was meditating, it would rise until I felt it hit a ‘block’, then the energy would spontaneously move my body around sometimes jerking it right off the ground, until I felt a ‘popping’ or releasing sensation. Then the process would begin again at my tailbone, only this time it would get a millimetre or two higher until it hit the next block. Over a four year period, this energy reached higher and higher up my spine, and the energy releases became more and more violent. Sometimes my eyes would roll back in my head as energy surged up my spine and jerked my head backwards. [...]

My hope is that by speaking out about my experience, I might reach others who are under-going this process and have no idea what is happening to them. As yoga and meditation infiltrate Western society, especially if they are mixed with drugs like marijuana, LSD and mushrooms, more and more people are going to awaken Kundalini.

I am reminded of a great article Ken Wilber wrote on consciousness and energy: Towards a comprehensive theory of subtle energies.

It is a while since I read it now, but what I got from it was a clearer sense of how consciousness and energy interacts and support each other at each level of our being, and in the awakening as well.

If we see ourselves as body (physical, chi), mind (emotions, thoughts), soul (alive presence, luminosity), and spirit (awake emptiness and form, Big Mind, Brahman, Tao), then we can find a pairing of consciousness and energy running through all these levels.

The diksha, and similar energy transfers in the shaktipat family such as Ilahinoor and what happens in Waking Down, is working at awakening from the energy side, functioning as a catalyst for changes on the energetic side, which in turn invites corresponding changes on the consciousness side.

These changes seem to happen at all levels. At our mind level, there is less being caught up in knots. At the soul level, there is an immediate experience and perception of the alive presence filtered in different ways, including the fertile darkness, luminous blackness, and as the alive and infinitely loving and intelligent presence in the heart area - the indwelling god. And at the Spirit level, there is the growing noticing of all as awake emptiness and form, absent of any separate self.

Changes at the energy side supports changes at the consciousness side, and the other way around.

This also reminds me of the slightly expanded integral practice grid, where we have our levels of being on one dimension, and self/other on the second. Some of the practices we do on our own, we put our own work into it, such as yoga, meditation, inquiry and physical exercise. And others are given to us from somebody else, such as massage, Breema, and the various forms of energy transfers mentioned above.

Together, there is our own work, and the gifts of others. Which there always is, of course, only more noticed this way.

Luminous blue spheres are coming up again, this time in and around the knees and elbows…! There seems to be one on either side of each knee, and either side of each elbow. I know that the chakras are just about everywhere in and around the body, although only the seven main ones are usually described in the literature. These blue spheres may be some of the minor chakras.

Their qualities are of… a luminous blue, deep, soft, cool, infinitely quiet allowing any activity.

This is something I have noticed since my teens, but not written down before. It is the sense of a transition between a slightly disorganized field and a crystallizing field.

It is especially tangible in sitting mediation, where the transition usually happens within the first few minutes, and it is also tangible in daily life, where the sense of crystallization is more or less present depending on how much sitting practice I do and other things going on. (During the couple of months last fall where any sense of I fell away, the emptiness itself took on a crystal quality.)

It shows up as a tangible sense of crystallization (or not), and also visually in the energy fields of myself and others. When there is no or less crystallization, there is also less awareness of the energy field and what it represents. As it is brought more into awareness, the crystallization also takes place.

So again, it appears to be more literal than it may be taken by many. There seems to be a literal reconfiguring of the subtle energies which is experienced, and seen, as a crystallization.

A question about the relationship between the three centers and the chakras came up for me after the phone session. I don’t know much about it yet, so all of this is from a very limited experience, and not aligned with anything I have heard or read so far.

The three centers and the chakras do not at all seem the same, but they are also obviously connected.

It seems that the three centers allows the chakras to transform and reorganize, along with the human self in general. The belly center allows the three first chakras to reorganize within all as Spirit, within and allowing a deepening of a felt sense of all as Spirit. The heart center allows the heart chakra to reorganize to loving all as Spirit. The head center allows the 6th and 7th centers to reorganize. And my sense right now (which will probably change) is that all of the three centers together allows the throat center to reorganize.

The chakras setting the stage for soul center awakenings

It also seems that working with the appropriate chakras can set the stage for an awakening of the soul centers, inviting an awakening of the centers to take place. And, as mentioned above, that this awakening in turn allows the chakras to reorganize within this new context.

The relationship(s) between the hara and the belly center

For instance, Breema or other hara-oriented practices can reorganize the hara chakras (2nd, or 3rd, or as I experience it the three first) allowing a drop into endarkenment, which in turn continues the reorganization of the hara chakras within the new context of endarkenment, of a felt sense of all as Spirit, which in turn deepens and more fully embodies this felt sense of all as Spirit.

There must be many individuals out there who have explored this in far more depth, for instance in the different yogic traditions (maybe especially Taoist yoga) and it seems that Almaas too probably have some insights here (although I haven’t gotten that far in reading his books yet.)

Since the dream last night, the small spheres of blue light seem very tangible, placed in each vertebrae close to the spinal cord. It is like a cool quiet awakening happening there, an awakening of the intelligence of the vertebrae as the guide in the dream told me. A quiet cool intelligence coming alive, at 24 (or so) different points along the spine. (And the quality of the brilliant cool blue intelligent light is really quite similar to the cool blue of the stars in the Pleiades.)

I can’t remember if I have mentioned it here, but I have noticed for some time the relationship between energetic holes, physical problems, psychological tendencies, and now also the three soul centers.

For me, the main one is in the hara.

Since the initial awakening in my teens, I have been aware of an energetic hole in my navel area, specifically located at and near my spine. At the same area, I had a noticeable physical deformity as well, an odd stacking of the vertebrae diagnosed as scoliosis.

At the time, I did a lot of Tai Chi and Chi Gong, both because I wanted more grounding and embodiment, and also to fill up this region.

A couple of years ago, I found Breema which also specifically works with the Hara region, and I have experienced a great deal of fullness, warmth and nurturing in the belly from Breema. Slowly over these couple of years, the energetic hole has filled up, and the spine has reorganized so there is only a slight stacking oddity now (helped along with massage in that area).

With the more recent belly awakening, the endarkenment, there is a sense of a deep luminous velvety blackness and also a new level of nurturing, and a new feeling of everything as Spirit.

This feeling of everything as Spirit, and the reorganizing of the emotional level within the context of all as Spirit, was exactly what was missing in the initial awakening. The head and heart centers were awakened, but not (yet) the belly one. So although I saw, and even loved, all as Spirit, I didn’t feel all as Spirit. The emotions lived their own life, and there was a good deal of turmoil there, partly as a consequence of the intensity of the awakening and its implications.

So there was an energetic hole in the hara region, a physical deformity in the spine at the level just below the navel, and a lack of grounding and emotional turmoil.

This energetic hole then gradually filled in, the physical deformity reduced greatly, and then there was a sudden shift into endarkenment, an early belly awakening into feeling all as Spirit, allowing the emotions to reorganize to all as Spirit, and a new sense of deep nurturing and being held by the velvety luminous blackness.

It is also interesting to note that Hameed Ali (A. H. Almaas) writes about these things in ways very close to my own experiences (although from far more experience and with more precision.)

I did the Christ meditation last night, and noticed a new shift and a few familiar things as well.

In the Christ meditation, I visualize Christ in my heart, and in front and behind, on the left and right, and above and below, about 5-8 feet out. Christ can be visualized as a presence, a light, or even in the physical form of Jesus, depending of what resonates the most and gives the strongest sense of presence. For me, a combination of presence and golden light seems to work best.

Soft alive loving intelligent receptive luminosity

The difference this time was the quality of the light. This time, it had a soft rounded quality, as a soft luminous deep infinitely loving, intelligent and receptive luminosity, with an alive presence. It has the deep velvety quality of the fertile darkness, and the aliveness and love, intelligence and receptivity of the alive luminosity.

In my dream that morning, the fertile blackness took on the qualities of the alive luminosity, revealing itself as luminous blackness. And during this meditation, the luminosity took on the deep soft quiet qualities of the fertile darkness. They seem to be revealing themselves as just two facets of the same, in different ways, with one in the foreground, then the other.

Directions

I also noticed the experience of the directions again, as I often do.

The front seems to have to do with my conscious daily life and interactions.

The back with my individual shadows, maybe shared with people in my groups such as culture and nationality, and in general what I tend to be unaware of in my daily life.

The sides with community and relationships with humanity, animals, plants and the Earth.

Above with traditional yang spirituality, such as transcendence and ascension.

And below with deep feminine spirituality, and also deeper collective shadows.

Placing, or noticing, the Christ there allows the light of awareness into these realms, allowing them to reorganize within the light of consciousness.

Unique quality

I also notice the unique Christ quality. It involves the heart center, but so do anything else related to Big Heart, such as Avalokiteshwara (Chenrezig, Kanzeon, Quan Yin). It involves the head center as well, especially the crown. But it also has a very distinct quality, a fiery alive presence that I have not experienced with anything else.

Tongues of fire

I also took the opportunity to look at the tongue of fire in the mirror afterwards (I know this is weird! I am definitely pushing my comfort zone by writing about this.) It looks like a cylinder of very clear light attached to the crown, maybe about 1.5-2 inches wide and 5-6 inches tall. When I move my head around, it follows exactly, as if solidly attached to the crown.

So it doesn’t really look like a tongue of fire, but it is very understandable why it may be described - and depicted - that way. It is of clear brilliant light, attached to the top as a flame to a candle (!), and it also has the fiery quality of the Christ presence itself.

When we worked with the Hebrew letters on Sunday, sounding and visualizing them above the head and at the three soul centers, we used letters with tongues of fire above them.

It reminded me of one of the most surprising experiences in my life. In the years following my initial awakening, I did did the heart prayer and Christ meditations and visualizations along with a more Buddhist practice, and along with everything else happening, I noticed an unusually intense activity on the crown on my head. The awakening also allowed me to see energies, and as I happened to walk past a mirror following an especially alive Christ meditation, I saw a flame on top of my head.

It was hugely surprising to me as it seemed to reflect the descriptions in Acts, which I up until then had taken as purely metaphorical. Now, it seemed that it was far more than metaphorical. The tongues of fire is a literal description of what happens when we connect with the Christ consciousness and energy. There are literally tongues of fire, energetically, activated at the top of our heads, and visible in our energy systems.

I am also surprised by drawings and paintings such as the one above. It is just about exactly what I saw, and see whenever I immerse myself in Christ practices. Have these artists seen it for themselves? Do they intuit or sense it? Do they base it one representations made by others who have seen it? It is probably a combination, and different for each artist. But it is still surprising, and beautiful.

From Sunday evening, after the diksha group and the additional activation of the three soul centers. I have experienced light below me quite strongly recently, since the endarkenment, initially as blobs of light (as in some of the previous drawings), and now as a very large field of light below me. I notice how the blobs above seem to merge and become larger.

Also from Sunday evening, with a little more color. It was made just before the other one, so it does not as accurately mirror what is going on as that one (but worth including because of the color).

From December 6, with the blobs of light above and below, more or less symmetrically. The drawing also has a clear differentiation between above and below, as there has been since the endarkenment shift.

The lines below reflect the sense of dark, fertile fullness of the endarkenment, centered in the belly. And the rays above, centered in the heart area, reflect the luminosity of the enlightenment, centered in the head. (Both are in a process of unfolding. There is still a slight sense of I, and there is no sense that there is an end to the endarkenment process.)

A drawing from November 30, similar to the December 6 one. Here too, the blobs of light above and below, and the differentiation above and below. I think this is the most beautiful one, although it represents only one (brief) phase and the light below is now far more expansive and luminous.

In my (superficial) explorations of different traditions, I discovered that the general category that diksha falls under is called shaktipat, a transfer of energy which facilitates awakening.

It is used systematically, by many teachers, in the Indian traditions, and probably more or less systematically, sometimes even accidentally, by some teachers in many other traditions.

Shakti means energy and pat means touch, and it seems to typically be done through touch, by laying on of hands or even hugging (Amma), but it can also be transfered through gazing or even at a distance - either through an intentional transfer from the giver, or through intention and prayer from the recipient’s side.

Shaktipat and energy healing

There are of course several parallels between this and the (in the west) more familiar faith/energy healing.

In both cases, the “giver” functions as a catalyst for the energy (channeling or awakening it), and the energy itself functions as a catalyst for either healing or awakening. The energy works on and in the energy field of the recipient, allowing the physical and/or consciousness aspects to reorganize. Where energy healing facilitates healing, shaktipat facilitates awakening.

Diksha

What does seem somewhat new in diksha is its predictability and universality. It seems that just about anyone can go through the three week process to become a diksha giver, and that the process unfolds in generally the same way for the recipients, up until awakening to realized selflessness.

From what I hear, and experience myself, it also seems that the different diksha givers transmit their own flavor of the diksha, emphasizing different aspects of the awakening process (for instance endarkenment.)

Other traditions

Muktananda and Adi Da are known for their use of shaktipat, and it is also an important element in Waking Down (not surprisingly, since Saniel Bonder was a student of Adi Da.)

Amma seem to transfer a heart-awakening shaktipat through hugs.

There is a possibility that some Christians do something similar through laying on of hands, although I am not sure about that.

The Tibetans probably have it in their repertoire as well, as they seem to have a very comprehensive and inclusive toolbox.

And, as mentioned, some teachers in any tradition probably use it, either accidentally or more intentionally. Sometimes even by just being in the same room as their students.

Studies etc.

Especially in the west, there is a natural and healthy skepticism about both shaktipat and energy healing, and the only way to get some more clarity around it is to put it to the test through scientific studies (double-blind, using physiologically and psychological measures of changes) and also by trying it out personally.

It is also interesting to look at the different factors involved. Some of the effect does seem to be through the energy transfer, allowing the energy aspect of the recipient to change which in turn invites the physical and/or consciousness aspects to shift. The other aspects certainly include the expectation and receptivity of the recipient, which in itself can allow for significant shifts.

Here are the energy sketches I have posted in the past, each one reflecting either what is really going on energetically (don’t know since I don’t have anyone apart from myself to check it) or at least what is going on psychologically.

This one is from some years back, towards the end of the initial awakening (started in my teens and lasted for about ten years.) It reflects the intensity of that period, and the head centered awakening of emptiness and luminosity. Everything, including the physical body, was experienced as emptiness and luminosity during this phase. There is also a circle around the body (a mandorla), which may reflect the intensity of the reorganization of my human self that took place during that time. It may also reflect a remaining sense of I at some levels (not that mandorlas necessarily or even typically reflect that, that is just my sense in this particular case.)

What strikes me the most, looking at it now, is the burning intensity here. I was on fire during this period, in every way. Very ambitious, engaged in a large number of passions, even the nights were intense - with an experience of intense reorganization and work on my human self. I didn’t know how to turn it off (and then it happened on its own, during the following dark night phase.)

Here is another one from the same time. Notice how the above/below is relatively symmetrical and uniform, with with some indications of roots going down (but also up).

I didn’t do any drawings at all during the dark night phase, which happened a couple of years later. (Or any spiritual practices at all, apart from community engagement.)

This one is from six months ago, at the tail end of the dark night phase (which lasted for some years and is still not quite over), and a little more than half a year into the diksha process. There is still an above/below symmetry, reflecting a head centered awakening of emptiness and luminosity. There are also roots going down, but they seem a little precarious to me now.

This is from last week, after the enlovenment diksha and just before a conscious awareness of the shift into endarkenment and early belly awakening. There is much more above/below differentiation, and more fluid fullness and richness below. There is still the reflections of the head centered awakening above, emptiness and luminosity. And there is also a sphere over the head, which I remember from drawings I made while still in Norway which I don’t have here (some years before the initial one posted above). The sphere in this one is more expanded and alive compared to the small one six months earlier.

This is one or two days after the conscious shift into endarkenment, with above/below differentiation and more spheres above the head, probably representing chakras/energy centers outside of the physical body. (The yellow and red around the body is a little more muddy than seems right.)

And this one, one or two days after the colorful one. Simple, with clear above/below differentiation. Below, I see that in the drawing from six months ago, there are roots. The ones immediately after the endarkenment diksha have smooth flowing lines and roots. And this one has only the smooth flowing lines.

Still more above/below differentiation, with luminosity above and the soft, fertile, embracing darkness below.

This is what came out after the endarkenment shift…

In these drawings, there used to be a circle around the body. The diagonal lines above continued below, creating a symmetry above and below. And the colors were mostly golden and light. All reflecting more of the head/enlightenment awakening. Of the circles above the head, only the first were strongly there, and the others absent or smaller.

Now, there is no circle around the body. There is clearly more differentiation above and below. The colors are more differentiated and stronger. And the circles above the head more emphasized and full.

See also drawings from some years ago, six months ago and a few days ago.

Current energy drawing… It is interesting to compare with some from a few years back, and some months back. This one has more fluid earth connections going on.

Since my first days with Breema, there has been a deepening and always new experience of the hara. The hara is described as the center of vitality in Breema and in many eastern energy approaches. I have experienced it as very clearly outlined, filling the whole cavity between the lower part of the rib cage and the pelvic bowl, nurturing the whole system.

During the Breema intensive this weekend, I had a new experience of the hara. This time, just about every time I received a sequence, I experienced in a very literal way the hara filling up, as a reservoir. It was as if something cool, clear, fresh, liquid and nurturing trickled from wherever my body was touched and to the hara, being stored and nurturing the whole bodymind. Staying as full and complete as ever, even as it flows through and nurtures the body.

While I am on the topic, here are some typical experiences while doing Breema…

A sense of no separation, of everything being included. Whatever happens is included in the session, including sounds, people walking through the room, and so on.

A sense of coming home, and of my whole being participating.

A sense of everything being always fresh and new.

A sense of fluidity and fullness.

A sense of fullness and bliss.

A sense of my hara filling with warmth, heat, nurturing the whole bodymind, and flowing throughout the body.

A sense of getting out of my own way, allowing an inherent wisdom to surface and shine through.

I went to the first evening of a nada yoga class last night. Apart from the obvious benefit of opening the voice, and also connecting with the chakras, releasing into spaciousness, and so on, it was interesting to notice parallels with other practices.

In koan practice, any tendency to being self-conscious and censoring oneself comes up and is seen, yet the direction of presenting the koan is in doing it wholeheartedly, and that was certainly the case here as well. In Breema, we use the principles of body comfortable, no extra, no force, and full participation, and all of those seem aligned with the nada yoga approach to using the voice: allowing the voice to rise fully and naturally, free from the force of holding back and pushing.

Earlier in the evening, I went to a kundalini yoga class where we practiced shunya listening, listening from emptiness, which - in a way - is a shortcut to what we arrive at through The Work. By allowing beliefs to unravel through inquiry, the natural spaciousness and clarity is revealed, free from attachment to any one particular idea and perspective and free to play with any idea and perspective.

I did a transformational breathing session this morning, by listening to instructions on a CD (and realized I had done a workshop at the Zen Center a while back using the same technique).

It was certainly powerful. My whole body started tingling and went cold quite rapidly, and the muscles tightened up quite strongly in different places. My hands were tight with fingers in a bow backwards, my facial muscles contracted, there was a strong root block as they call it in yoga, and so on. The body lived its own life, unfolding within pure awareness. And it was fine. (Although a part of me was glad nobody walked in and saw it!).

It reminded me that something very similar happened after my first diksha. The days after the diksha, I went into a strong witness state, with strong muscle contractions in the neck/head area. One or two weeks later, I was in bed a Saturday morning listening to the radio, and my body did what it did during this breath session - although just more of it. It contracted, moved around and completely lived its own life - with no possibility for conscious intervention. The center of gravity was in the Witness - just pure awareness of it all unfolding, of it all passing through.

It makes sense as both the breath work and the diksha works at the energy side of it, and may at times work in similar ways.

I also see several ways this breath work can be helpful. It allows me familiarity with everything passing through within this Timeless Present, meltet in with clarity and pure awareness. It allows my breath to deepen, gradually, in my daily life (maybe). And it may also allow the body to release and reorganize. Again, who knows.

I’ll probably try the breath work more, and see how it unfolds.