It’s not who you are


And remember, it’s not who you are.

When I worked at a clinic a little while back, one of my co-workers would say this to clients after they did the enneagram test. (We used the test so we wouldn’t overlook some possible core issues for the clients.) He would say it mostly to pique their curiosity, to counter their tendency to take the results as who they are, and also because it’s accurate.

When I find my enneagram types according to an online test, in what way is it who I am? The results do hint at how I cope with core issues from my childhood.

And in what way is it not who I am?

It’s not who I am because the test may give different results depending on when I do it and which situation(s) I have in mind when I answer the questions. So in a limited enneagram context, the results may not be who I (always) am.

It’s not who I am because I am a whole human being and the enneagram types only touch upon aspects of who I am and how I am in the world. (What it does address is partly how I typically cope with core wounds from childhood.)

I am not destined by what the test points to. Yes, I may have those dynamics in me and tend to use those coping mechanisms, but when I become aware of it, and when I find more healing for the core issues behind it, I can relate to these dynamics in me more consciously. I may find myself living differently.

Beyond the human, there is what I am. That which any experience, including what the enneagram types point to, happens within and as. In this context, I am also not limited to any enneagram type or any label at all.

And this goes for any personality test, any label, any role we have in society. It’s not who we are. It may or may not be accurate in a conventional sense. And as who (human self) and what (Big Mind) we are, we are far more, different, and not defined by it.

So what enneagram types am I? When I do the tests, my most prominent ones tend to be 9 and 1. Peacemaker and perfectionist. When I grew up, I was taught to avoid conflict (peacemaker) and that doing things well was safe (perfectionist). So by seeking peace and perfection, I can avoid conflict (which I am scared of) and also failing or being disapproved of (which I am also scared of). These types suggest that if I want to work on core emotional issues, I may do well to address conflict avoidance and fear of being unloved or disapproved of, and the early childhood situations where I learned this.

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Own Enneagram test results

I took the brief enneagram test again, and got these results. I still think I am mainly a nine, with 1, 3, and 5 as quite strong, along with 2 and 4. As with any identities, this is what I am, or at least how I appear, in a conventional sense. At the same time, the results change somewhat over time, and between each time I take the test. It may be interesting to take these types of tests, and useful in some specific ways. For instance, it can help me notice patterns in myself, and – in this case – how I tend to seek safety. In the context of the Living Inquiries, it can help me identify deficient and inflated selves, and perhaps threats and commands, which I then can look at. And these types are not what I really am. When I look for the me that’s a peace lover or peacemaker, I cannot find it outside of a collection of images, words, and sensations.
Enneagram Test Results
The Enneagram is a personality system which divides the entire human personality into nine behavioral tendencies, this is your score on each..
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||| 62%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||||||| 70%
Type 4 Individualism |||||||||||||| 54%
Type 5 Intellectualism |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 6 Security Focus |||||||||||| 42%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||| 46%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||| 38%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||||| 70%
type score type behavior motivation
1 18  I must be perfect and good to survive.
3 17  I must be impressive and attractive to survive.
9 17  I must maintain peace/calm to survive.
5 16  I must be knowledgeable to survive.
2 15  I must be helpful and caring to survive.
4 13  I must be unique/different to survive.
7 11  I must be fun and entertained to survive.
6 10  I must be secure and safe to survive.
8 9  I must be strong and in control to survive.
Your main type is Type 1 Your variant stacking is so/sp/sx Your level of health is above average Your main type is which ever behavior you utilize most and/or prefer. Your variant reflects your scoring profile on all nine types: so = social variant (compliant, friendly), sx = sexual variant (assertive, intense), sp = self preservation variant (withdrawn, security seeking). For info on the flaws of the Enneagram system click here.