Hafiz: This place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you

 

This place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you.

– Hafiz & Daniel Ladinsky

Hafiz through the translation of Daniel Ladinsky is often very beautiful. There is a simplicity and truth to it, and it often comes from a refreshing angle.

We can say that all is God’s will. And more than that, all is God so all is an expression of God and is God. In that sense, where we are is somewhere God has circled on a map for us. And God is also the map, the circle, and the circling.

Quote: Unless you’ve surrendered to the Will of God

 

You can come up with a very clear and concise articulation of nonduality, and you can speak of it over and over again, and you can attempt to align your activity to that articulation. But in fact, organically, unless you’ve surrendered to the Will of God, which is movement but in the domain of nonduality, any state of nonduality is not mature.

– Lee Lozowick or Matthew Files

Surrendering to the will of God as what is, as it is, here and now. The sensations, images, thoughts, identifications, experiences that are here and now. And questioning any fears and beliefs that prevents this surrender.

Also, surrendering to the inner guidance, to the heart. And here too identify and inquire into fears and beliefs preventing following this guidance.

And surrendering to what is, as it is, including any apparent difficulties surrendering and following the inner guidance.

Recognizing that what’s here is love makes it easier.

Barry: Listening to Source

 

I don’t think it is going to be a good idea to do what anyone else says, even a psychic friend. What got you into this is that you stopped listening to Source and lived from fear and your own will.

Yes, all that is happening is God’s will.  Your part is whether you listen and act from love and oneness with God’s will or from fear and separation.  If you truly ask for God’s will to be known and done, the divine will get through to you no matter what if you are willing to feel the fear, doubt, uncertainty and wait until you receive the Knowing from the divine.  It is about giving yourself, mind, body, soul to God.  Remember Jesus two edicts when asked how to achieve union.  Love God with all your heart and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself/and yourself.  If you love God with all your heart and soul there is nothing you want more than to do God’s will.  When we realize that every time we act from personal ego/will we cause suffering and dis-ease and ultimately death to ourselves and all life it is pretty easy to turn fully in surrender to God. Consider these things…
– Barry, in an email to me

For the first two thirds of my twenties, I had a clear inner guidance and I followed it most of the time. As I followed it, it became more clear to me. And there was a sense of being guided with love and care, and a deep sense of rightness and alignment. Things fell into place in my life.

Then, I went against my guidance and moved to Wisconsin. I did it because of a relationship, and really because of fears and beliefs about it. I was willing to sacrifice following my guidance in order to avoid what I was afraid of (being alone was one of those). This was the beginning of what can be labelled a dark night of the soul, where things felt off track internally and in my life in general.

Now, the invitation is to follow my inner guidance again, and take a closer look at the fears and beliefs I sometimes use to stop myself from doing so.

I see that God’s will is what is, and one way to align with God’s will is to question my thoughts saying what is is not right. Another way to align with God’s will is to question the thoughts I use to stop myself from following my guidance.

 

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God takes over

 

There is the hologram that you have been identified with that spins and spins…then there is reality beyond that…the two are mutually exclusive…you asked for Self Realization…God takes over…what is yours is yours..Surrender to the mystery….love,b

God takes over.

It’s, of course, how it always is. If all is God, then all is God’s will, all is God’s love. Even what a thought may label bad, wrong, undesirable, unloving, identification, all of that too is God’s will, God’s love, and God.

And yet, something is different when there is a conscious shift into seeing this, and surrendering to God.

Surrender to God. What does that mean?

For me, it means surrendering to what is. What in me opposes what is? What beliefs and contracted fears are there? What’s more true than these? How is it to live from what’s already more true for me?

It also means following my inner guidance, my heart. What in me opposes following what this guidance tells me now? What fears are there? What stories do I tell myself to confuse myself so I am less receptive to this guidance? What is it “I” want that seems opposed to what is, and this guidance? What’s the fears behind it? What’s more real and true than these fears?

And it means surrendering to love and truth. If I am completely honest with myself and others, what will happen? Being completely honest is another way of losing control. As long as I hold back, as long as I tell little lies, I can maintain the thought that I am in control. Being completely honest, and I lose that illusion. What am I afraid would happen if I am completely honest? What fears are there? What’s more true for me? How would it be to live from this honesty?

I did ask for it, as Barry points out. I sat in front of the altar in Bodh Gaia for days prayer for full awakening no matter what it would cost. (In my early/mid twenties, of course, in the grip of youthful folly, and perhaps also a deeper wisdom.) And now, when I realize more fully, and at an emotional level, that “I” am not in control and never was, it brings up a lot of fear in me. There is really a sense of giving up control and giving my life more fully over to God. I have no idea what will happen, and I also see that I never did even when I earlier told myself I did.

Nothing has really changed. It’s all already God’s will. I never knew what would happen or where life would take me. And yet, it’s good to meet those fears me. Welcome them. Thank them for protecting me. Ask them how they wish me to be with them. Ask them what their deepest longing is, and what would satisfy them forever. Ask them who they are (in form) and what they really are.

And there is a change here too. Where I before had some confidence that I could follow and often achieve my personal wishes and preferences, it’s not like that anymore. At least, it seems to not be that way anymore. As a friend of mine said, there is my will, and your will, and then there’s God’s will. There is a sense of surrendering my personal will and preferences to God’s will, and much in me opposes it while it at the same time really wants it. It brings up neediness and fears in me. What if I won’t get what I want? What if I won’t get to fill the hole in me the way I thought I would fill it? There may be other, and more deeply satisfying, ways of filling those holes. And I don’t know what will happen. It may happen the way my personality wishes, and it may not. I don’t know.

Transformation of the personal will

 

A return to this topic:

It seems the dark night of the soul phase is also a transformation of the personal will. If it’s transformed, what is it transformed from and to?

The initial version of the personal will, the “normal” adult one, is based on preferences mixed in with beliefs and identifications. This one is not always very aligned with (a) what is, life as it shows up, or (b) the inner guidance, the quiet inner voice, the voice of the heart. There is often a struggle between the personal will and what is. And the personal will is often quite noisy compared with the inner guidance and may also – at least at times – intentionally override it. This form of personal will may stay more or less intact during the initial phases of the awakening.

During the dark night of the soul, the personal will is thoroughly humbled. For me, life went against it in many ways at once. The personal will became weak and feeble, and sometimes nearly unfindable. And the personal will was shown to not be “mine” but something life supported for a while in its previous form and not any longer.

What’s it transformed to? I can just say something preliminary about this.

A closer alignment with reality, life as it is.

A closer alignment with the inner guidance.

A willingness to give it all – anything human, any confusion, any situation – to the divine.

Trust in the love and wisdom of life.

Recognition that the personal will, as it shows up, is God’s will. (Without using that to abdicate responsibility.)

Realization of the nature of illusion and reality regarding the personal will. The nature of illusion: the dynamics of preferences, beliefs and the label “personal will” creating the appearance of a personal will. And the nature of reality: this too is presence, awakeness, and can be labeled divine.

Each of these are more thoroughly embodied.

And the first four may be revealed and embodied further as the beliefs and fears bringing us in another direction are identified and inquired into.

Transformation of the personal will

 

Transformation of the personal will. That seems to be one facet of what I am going through now.

What does it mean? What is it about? What’s the next phase for me here?

Here are some things that come to me:

(a) It’s a closer and more whole hearted alignment with my inner guidance, with the quiet little voice, with the voice of the heart. A large part of this includes noticing identifications – appearing as beliefs and fears – around following this guidance, inquire into these, and find what’s more true for me.

(b) It involves finding love for what is, as it is. Finding love for God’s will, even when it’s different from my own preferences as a human being. Here too, an important aspect is noticing and inquiring into identifications, beliefs and fears.

And it involves other forms of inquiry:

(c) Explore and notice that what a thought may label my will and God’s will both happen within and as awakeness, presence, love.

(d) Inquire into thoughts (fears, complaints) about my will and God’s will, and the labels my will and God’s will.

(e) Explore and notice that what a thought may label my will or personal will is also – as anything else, including identifications etc. – God’s will.

(f) Explore and notice the dynamics of the personal will. How what appears as personal will that’s opposed to God’s will is all created from identifications, from mind holding images and thoughts as true.

(g) Explore and notice the innocence in it all. How a personal will opposed to God’s will comes from a wish to protect this me, comes from deep devotion and love. How it wishes to be met with respect, love and understanding. How it wishes for a deep sense of trust and love. How it is awakeness itself, as anything else.

(h) Holding satsang with my personal will, befriend it. See it’s innocence. It’s love. It’s real nature.

As so much else, it’s an exploration of the nature of illusion – the dynamics of taking images and thoughts as true, and the nature of reality – the real nature of all of this.

Note: I wrote this without much of a plan, so it’s a bit rambling. I could probably easily organize it into three or four categories. (a) Alignment with inner guidance, the voice of the heart. (b) Finding (noticing) love for what is. (c) Inquiry into beliefs and fears around this, including what comes up when I consider following my inner guidance or finding love for what is.

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Trusting God’s will, and finding fears it brings up in me

 

If what is is God, and God’s will, and God is love, do I trust it?

When I consider this – that what’s here, what happened, what may happen, is not only God itself, but also God’s love and God’s will – what fears does it bring up?

How is it to welcome these fearful images and thoughts, notice they are here to protect me, notice they come from love? How is it to inquire into each of these and find what’s more true for me? What do I find?

Here is some that come up for me:

If I see and feel what’s here (what happened, what may happen) as God’s will/love, what I am most afraid would happen is…..

I wouldn’t take care of myself. I wouldn’t protect myself. Others will see me as an idiot. I will leave humanity behind. (In terms of my view, way of relating to life.) I will be isolated.

I will make myself vulnerable. I will open myself up for bad things happening to me. I will invite in bad things happening to me. I will tell God it’s OK for bad things happening to me. Something bad may happen to me. Something bad can happen to me. It’s possible for something bad to happen to me.

It’s too foreign to me. I won’t be able to complain. I won’t be able to blame others. I will have to take responsibility. I will have to live in integrity. I won’t have a way out. I won’t be up to it. I am not ready for it.

God’s will, my will

 

If God’s will is what is, then my will is what happens when a thought is taken as true, and I want something else. And when that’s what is, that’s God’s will too. It’s included in God’s will.

So God’s will is equal to my will, since my will is included in God’s will.

And God’s will is not equal to my will, since my will – what happens when I take a thought as true – appears to be in opposition to what is. I tell myself how things are, and that they shouldn’t be that way.

It’s uncomfortable when my will is not equal to God’s will, so how can I invite it to shift?

I can pray let your will be done, and invite in a general shift. I can pray for my enemies, whether they are people, states, or situations. I can inquire into my thoughts – telling me what is isn’t right, find what’s more true for me, and invite in a more finely grained shift in that area.

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Inner guidance vs God’s will

 

I just now did the Big Mind process on what initiated the dark night for me, and it helped me differentiate between my inner guidance and God’s will. In short, when I follow my inner guidance, my inner guidance and God’s will are the same, and if I don’t follow my inner guidance, they are different.

I thought – without even realizing it – that my inner guidance somehow is God’s will, so when I went against my inner guidance, I went against God’s will, and it severed or ruined my connection with God. Through this exploration, I see that it’s more true for me that my inner guidance shows me what’s easy for me, it shows me what will make me feel deeply nourished and on track. God’s will is quite different. Nothing is outside of God’s will, including whether or not I follow my inner guidance. What happened was all included in God’s will. All I did was not follow my inner guidance, because of some fears and beliefs, and that’s quite different. That’s innocent.

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Aligning with reality

 

Reality is what awakens to itself.

And reality already allows – and shows up as – what’s here, whatever it is: these emotions, these thoughts, this experience, this world.

So I can explore this a few different ways.

(a) To explore if reality already allows what’s here, I can ask myself:

It is true this – this emotion, thought, resistance, pain, experience – is not already allowed? 

Is it true it’s not already awareness?

(b) And I can identify resistant thoughts, write them down, and take them to inquiry.

What are my fears and thoughts about what’s here? 

What do I complain about? Wish was different? Hope for? 

The first is an exploration of God’s will, what’s already here. The second is an exploration of my will. And my will – thoughts taken as true – may then be revealed as God’s will along with everything else.

I may first notice that reality already allows what’s here, and then find myself as it – that which already allows what’s here, including images of me and I, identifying with these images or not, and anything else.

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My Will, Thy Will

 

What’s my will, what’s Your (God’s) will?

I find three layers here in my own experience.

First two where there is the appearance of my will vs. God’s will.

My will is what happens whenever a thought is taken as true. It’s what’s revealed through question #3 in The Work. Believing any thought – such as “she should do the dishes” – is my will. It’s something that appears to be in opposition to reality, and it can be painful.

When that thought is investigated, there is more receptivity, kindness, access to wisdom, and so on. For instance, I may lie in bed thinking I should get up, wanting myself to get up, and there is struggle. Or I may lie in bed with curiosity about when this body will get out of bed, watching and noticing. In the first case, “my will” creates struggle and drama. In the second, it just happens. Any thought can be used as an example here. I believe my body should be healthier, and there is stress and struggle. My will is for my body to be healthier, and reality – in my mind – is different, so there is struggle. I investigate that thought and find something else is more true, and there is more alignment with reality, kindness, peace, and access to practical wisdom. Finding what’s more true for me than the initial belief gives a sense of aligning myself more with reality, with God’s will.

And when all of this is investigated a bit closer, what’s revealed is that it’s all God’s will. Getting caught in a belief, finding more clarity, it’s all God’s will. Whatever is here is God’s will.

What’s here is God’s will. And that includes any impulse to act, do something, change something.