When we notice what we are, how do we experience others?
The essence of this is relatively universal, although it will vary how clearly we notice and how much we take it to heart and live from it. I have also chosen to include a few pointers that are related but more culturally dependent.
How I experience others when I notice what I am
They too are awake no-thing taking the appearance of that human self, whether it’s noticed over there or not. They are what their experiences happen within and as.
To me, they happen within and as what I am. They happen as awake no-thing along with everything else. They happen within and as oneness.
How I relate to and treat others is how I relate to and treat what I am, in the most direct and immediate way.
Some related pointers
Here are some pointers that are more culturally dependent, don’t automatically follow from noticing what I am, and still can be very helpful, fill in the picture, and help us shift conditioning.
As who they are, as their human self, they are expressions of this universe and this living planet. They too are the local eyes, ears, thoughts, and feelings of the universe.
Their human self is a bunch of conditioning just like this human self, and the causes of everything they are go back to the beginning of time and stretches out to the widest extent of space. In this sense, what seems and is most personal about us is ultimately quite impersonal.
As who I am, at my human level, they mirror me. What I see in them is something I can find in myself. When I turn the stories I have about them to myself, I can find specific examples of it in my own life here and now, including in how I relate to them, and in the past.
Also, as who I am, I know they too want a good life free of suffering, just like me. They struggle, just like me. They have struggles hidden from me, just like they don’t know all of mine. They sometimes operate from their reaction to their own (unloved, unexamined) pain, just like I do. They sometimes operate from separation consciousness, just like me.
When I perceive others through separation consciousness
This is how it is when I am more clear and notice what I am and what’s going on.
And sometimes I “forget” some or all of this and operate, to some extent, from habitual separation consciousness. I may forget they are capacity for their own world and take them primarily as a human self, I may take what comes from their (impersonal) conditioning personally, forget that they too want a good life free from suffering, and so on.
Exploring my perception of others
A part of noticing what I am, and exploring how to live from it, is exploring how it influences and changes how I perceive and relate to others.
How is it to remind myself that they too are what I am? That they are capacity for their world? That their world happens within and as what they are? That they are awake no-thing full of their world?
How is it to remind myself that they are the local expressions of the universe and this planet? That they too are the local eyes, ears, thoughts, and feelings of the universe?
How is it to remind myself that as who they are in the world, as a human being, they are a collection of conditioning just like me? That they are made up of influences from innumerable sources – from their parents and families to friends, culture, and history, and the evolution of our species, the living Earth, and the universe as a whole?
How is it to remind myself that I mirror what they are, just like they mirror me? That they react to me as they react to the sides of themselves they see in me? That their reaction to me is not personal?
How is it to remind myself that they too sometimes operate from the painful sides of separation consciousness? That they too sometimes operate from their reaction to their own pain and issues?
How is it to remind myself that they fundamentally want the same as me? That they too want to have a good life free from suffering? That they too struggle, in ways I am not aware of?
Allowing how I experience others to shift
How I experience others is partly a product of old conditioning and separation consciousness.
So a part of noticing what I am, and exploring how to live from it, is exploring how this shifts how I perceive others.
In this moment, how do I relate to this person? Does some come from separation consciousness?
How would it be if it was more aligned with what’s alive for me when I notice what I am?
How would it be if noticing what I am was more alive and extended to how I perceive others?
Working with these pointers
All of this is an ongoing exploration, and each of these pointers is a medicine for a particular condition.
Each one has value to the extent it’s alive here and now and I allow it to transform me. And there is always more to discover, clarify, and deepen.
It’s good to explore one of these at a time, whether it’s a short visit or over longer periods. After exploring each one of these over time, they tend to be more available in the moment.
Different types of knowing
The examples I give above come from different types of knowing and it’s good to differentiate them.
Noticing what I am and that others and my whole world happen within and as me, is a direct noticing. It doesn’t require thought or any conventional knowing.
The rest require a combination of personal experience and conventional knowing, and they are culturally dependent.
Through reports from others, I assume they too are what I am. They are capacity for their own world, their world happens within and as what they are.
Through working with projections, I come to see that others – and the whole world – is a mirror for me at a human level, and it’s very likely the same for others.
Through examining myself, and through reports from others, it’s very likely they too want a good life free from suffering, and that they too sometimes get painfully caught up in separation consciousness.
Through the universe story, as told by modern science, I see all of us as an expression of the universe and this living planet. We all are, in a literal sense, the local eyes, ears, thoughts, and feelings of the universe.
Through exploring myself, and through reports, I assume just about all of who we are at a human level has infinite causes stretching back to the beginning of time and out to the widest extent of the universe. It all has innumerable causes.
For me, all these are useful pointers and go together. Each helps shift a certain type of conditioning.Read More