I am a close friend with a Jewish family. There is a growing hostility towards Jews in the community, and one day - while I am visiting but in another area of the house - the family disappears. I notice my fear of speaking up against the almost universal hostility, recognizing that I will almost surely meet the same fate as them if I do, and instead try to find a way to either help or escape unnoticed.

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Happiness research is hot these days, and it is good to see this topic finally getting the attention it deserves. After all, what do we want if not happiness?

When I explore it for myself, I find two or three layers of happiness or satisfaction.

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The recent Tiger Woods story is a reminder of a simple pointer:

Would I do what I am doing if everyone knew about it? What would I do differently if everyone would know it?

In our digital and highly connected age, it is very possible that everyone will know, and that gives an added reality to the question.

Here is another take on those questions: When I am alone, do I behave as I would if others were here?  How would it be to act as if others were here? When I am with others, do I feel and act as free as I do when I am alone? How would it be to feel and act with the freedom that is here when I am alone?

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Big Integrity is the art and science of coming into right relationship with Reality and supporting others in doing the same. It can be spoken of as “getting right with God,” but religious language is not necessary and may in some circles be counterproductive, given the fact that so many people still have trivial, unnatural views of the divine. (Indeed, as I suggest here, atheist scientists such as PZ Myers and Richard Dawkins are playing traditionally prophetic roles in this process when they speak on behalf of reality.) Thus, I prefer thinking of Big Integrity simply as “being in right relationship with Reality”—both objective reality: the actual, physical Universe that dozens of scientific disciplines help us understand, and subjective reality: the inner realm of meaning, values, and interpretation that has historically been the focus of religion, psychology, and spirituality.

A nice post on the Big Integrity movement from Michael Dowd.

A common metaphor for how we relate to experience is digestion. 

When a certain experience is digested well, there is some clarity around my stories about it, an allowing of the experience as is and with kindness, and acting with some integrity from what seems most mature, wise and kind in the situation even from a conventional view. 

When it is digested less well, there tends to be a resistance to the experience, a holding onto certain stories about it as true, and acting from less integrity. And in this case, the undigested experience will tend to come up again to be digested more fully.

It may come up when a current situation or event triggers the memory of it. Or when there is receptivity for it, for instance through allowing another experience (this one may come along, hoping to be digested as well), or when we are not able to distract ourselves from it - for instance at night in bed, while on retreat, or in nature for a length of time. 

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Any practice has elements of inquiry, devotion, integrity and service.

It can be an expression of love for reality (God, Buddha Mind). It can be an expression of curiosity: what happens if…? It can be an expression of integrity, a sincere intention to live more aligned with reality. And it can be an expression of service, of realigning this human life so it better can be of service to the larger whole.

So there is fertile ground for exploration here. Any of those four is a practice in itself, and it includes elements of each of the other ones. What is the devotion component of inquiry? What is the integrity component of service? What is the service component of devotion? What do I find in my own experience?

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There are many answers to the question what is it all about?

And here is one simple answer: it is about living in integrity.

What does it mean to live in integrity?

For me, it means to live according to relative and absolute truth. The ordinary truths on my ordinary human life, and also the truth of what I am and everything is.

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Some things about consistency and inconsistency…

I can, of course, aim at consistency in the ordinary sense, between values, words and actions. And also integrity in acting on what is more true for me than beliefs, and notice and inquire into beliefs and fears preventing me from acting on it.

But there are gifts in inconsistency as well.

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The long form improv guideline of Yes, And is a great way of meeting people where they are.

We find the grain of truth in their perspective, which is always there, acknowledge it, and then add another perspective to it.

It is a way to meet people where they are, and then gently expand the perspective. We expand our own by taking into account the truth in theirs. And we expand theirs by adding something new.

It is also a quick way to finding common ground, simply by noting the truth in their view.

And it is a way to stay in integrity. I find the genuine truth, for me, in their perspective. And then add something on my own.

It is very simple, almost childishly so as so much else in this journal. But it has a profound impact if we really bring it into our life.