At several points on the spiritual path, we may experience that reality asks more of us than we can give.
And this recognition may be especially acute after a good deal of practice, after the bulk of the work seems done, and after our attention is a little more fine-tuned.
The demands of precepts may seem unreachable. I can get there mostly, but I am always a little off, and there is a whole string of instances where I am clearly off the mark and it seems impossible for it not to be so.
I keep having dreams where people die, either separately or in groups. These people are often close to me. And over time, it seems that just about anyone close to me in waking life has died in my dreams, including myself, and an even larger number have died who were close to me in the dream but unknown to me in my waking life.
The process of waking up, and embodying/living it, is a process of letting of of identification with (images of) past, future and present.
For a while, it may be quite abstract. But eventually, it is very real and gritty.
There is a need to let go of identification with the past. With my history defining who I am. There is a need to let go of everything I was.
There is a need to let go of identification with the future. With my visions of who I may be in the future. There is a need to let go of everything I hoped or expected to be.
And there is a need to let go of identifications with the present. With my images of who I am or wish to be. There is a need to let go of everything I take myself to be, or wish to be. All circumstances, roles, identities, life.
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