Notice that suffering arrives in words, mental pictures and sensations. Look directly at those things one at a time. Let them be as they are. They fall away. Therein lies the relief from suffering. It’s as simple as 2+2=4.
– Scott Kiloby
All these labels we place on ourselves, I sense, don’t do us much good at a certain point. I mean I once walked around calling myself an addict, then a spiritual person, then an empath, then highly sensitive, then enlightened, then the one who doesn’t care about being enlightened. As I look at it now, it makes a lot of sound and that’s about it. As Judy said, notice the words “highly sensitive,” take the words off, then feel the sensation. It never actually says it’s too much. Those are just more words. It’s just felt. Simple.
It reminds me of diagnoses. I go to a doctor or a therapist, they label me. I feel good in the sense that at least now I have a label. Then ten years later, I realize it’s just a word. Why not start now and see it as just a word velcroed to a sensation. Saves a lot of time and questions. If we have as much interest in investigating labels as we do in finding the “right” label that describes “me”, we would likely suffer a lot less.
– Scott Kiloby in a comment on Facebook
He is saying here, more clearly and in fewer words, what I tried to express in the previous post.
Pointers of any form may be very helpful. We wouldn’t function without them.
For instance, one of the fashionable labels is highly sensitive, and I see how it fits me too.
There are two ways to relate to these labels. We can take them as real and solid, identify with them, and use them to solidify an identity. This is who and how I am.
We can also use these labels as a starting point for inquiry. I am highly sensitive, is it true? What do I find when I look into this thought? (The Work.) Also, what do I find when I look at the words, images and sensations associated with this label for me? (Living Inquiries.) What if I find that the whole experience of being “highly sensitive”, and the discomfort associated with it, consists of nothing more than a collection of words, images and sensations, and that there is no threat in any of them when I look at each one separately? What if I find that what’s left is a sensation, and there is no threat in it?
The biggest revelation for me came when I was able to feel emotions and sensations without the words and images attached to them. I’d always taken it for granted that those feelings were the suffering. Stripped of their associations, the layers of meaning, it turned out that even intense emotions were bearable. More than that, they sometimes became pleasurable, or at least neutral. Energy moving through the body, and being felt. Indistinguishable from aliveness, and no longer perceived as negative in any way. I discovered the breathtaking, exquisite beauty in sadness, the innocence of fear, the high of anger, stripped of its connotations.
Going through the inquiry process, over and over again, the underlying belief that there was something wrong with what I was feeling, that sense of I shouldn’t be feeling like this, began to ebb away. Suffering, as Hafiz pointed out, comes not from life itself, but from our quibbling about it. The more we scream This shouldn’t be happening, the more we suffer. By taking a look at each element of our experience, gently, curiously, and with courage, meeting all of it as it is, we untangle the tale of suffering, and the one who suffers is nowhere to be found.
I used to believe that my suffering would end when my feelings and thoughts were somehow magically transmuted into their opposites. It is delightful to discover that the end of suffering lies in those very same feelings and thoughts, exactly as they are. My life continues as it did, my feelings and thoughts come and go as they do, and yet what was once considered suffering is now vital, alive, precious, and very much less serious than it used to seem.
– Fiona R., On Seeing Through Suffering
I thought I would give a brief update here. There is still a lot coming up for me, of previously unfelt, unloved, unseen material, and it’s sometimes challenging and sometimes quite moving. It’s all coming up with an invitation for it to be met, felt, loved, seen as what it is – in form and as the same as everything. Things keep falling apart in my outer life as well, perhaps as a reflection of a dismantling of inner patterns as Barry suggests. It’s also because I get caught in what surfaces and live it out, to some extent, and what surfaces is sometimes quite wounded and very young.
Some practices I find helpful these days:
The Living Inquiries. I am in the LI training program, so do the LIs most days, and sometimes several times a day. I find it very helpful, and it’s an approach that makes it easy to explore what I previously have looked into through more traditional (Buddhist) sense field explorations.
Tonglen & Ho’oponopono. I use both of these on anything that my mind takes as an “enemy”, wherever in my world this apparent enemy appears – subpersonalities, physical symptoms, emotions, resistance, life circumstances, other people, a dream figure or anything else. It helps shift how I relate to and see these. There is a curiosity and a question in this. Is it really an enemy? Is my perception of it as an enemy as true as it first appears? What’s my perception of it as I continue exploring it through tonglen and ho’o? (Maybe it’s even revealed as – what a thought may call – awareness and love?)
Holding satsang. I also hold satsang with subpersonalities and whatever else is here (anything can be taken as a subpersonality). You are welcome here. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for your love for me. What would satisfy you forever? What are you really?
Heart flame. I find and fan the flame of the heart with my attention and gratitude. Then – in my mind – place my whole body and being inside of this flame, allowing it to burn away anything that’s not similar to itself (clarity, love). It burns away any trance, any illness.
Tension and Trauma Release Exercises (TRE). I continue inviting in neurogenic tremors, often throughout daily life – when I sit in a chair, stand waiting for the tea water to boil, lie in bed etc. Sometimes, I also bring something stressful to mind to invite tension around that to release through the tremors.
The Work. I sometimes use The Work too. Right now, I have to admit I am more drawn to the Living Inquiries, although I see them as equal and complementary. They are both forms of inquiry. They both invite beliefs to be seen through and soften or fall apart. And yet, the Living Inquiries work on images, body images, and sensations more specifically, which I find helpful now. It’s as if it more directly goes to a more primal part of the mind.
Rest. Whenever I remember, I intentionally rest, allowing any experience to be as it is. Noticing the sensations, allowing them as they are. Noticing the sounds, images and words coming and going. Noticing it’s all already allowed. This is an alert form of resting. More accurately, it’s a resting from being caught up in images and words. They come and go, and are noticed as objects instead of being identified with…. and taken as a subject, as what I am. This is also called Shikantaza, or natural meditation, and it’s part of the Living Inquiries.
Stable attention. I sometimes also take time to bring attention to the sensations of the breath at the nostrils, or at one nostril. This invites attention to stabilize, and it becomes more pliable and a support for any activity in life (and just being). I am just getting more back into this, and wish to do it more again.
Prayer. I pray for guidance. For seeing through the trance. (Victim etc.) For support seeing through the trance. For support in meeting what’s here with love. For support in any way that’s most helpful for me. For support in living from love and clarity. For support in giving my life over to God (Spirit, Christ, Buddha Mind) wholeheartedly. For support in meeting any fear in me with love and clarity. For my life being in service of life.
Additional. I have also done some EFT and TFT. I go for walks in nature. I make sure to drink plenty of water, usually in the form of different types of herbals teas, so my urine is pale or almost clear. (This really helps with any sense of energetic stagnation in my system.) I take some herbs and similar things (chulen, rhodiola, eleuthero, echinacea). I get plenty or rest and sleep. I do things that sparks my passion (photography, drawing, reading). I connect with friends. (As or more important than much else here.) And so on.
Our conventional experience is that there are objects – out there in the world – and a subject somewhere here.
When I look for myself, I see that the boundary is fuzzy and changing. For instance, my body is – in some instances – an object for me, and other times more of a subject, something I am. Fear may be an object to me, and it may also be a subject, what I am. I am afraid.
I also see how everything that appears as a subject is really an object. It’s all happening within content of experience. And when I notice that it’s happening within content of experience, it becomes an object to me. For instance, I may take certain sensations in my throat, inner mouth and head area as me, as a subject. And when I look, I see they are sensations – combined with words and images. These sensations goes from appearing as a subject, to being recognized as objects.
Through this process of looking, more and more of what appeared as subjects are revealed as objects. I took myself to be certain words, images and sensations, and when I look, I see they are words, images and sensations, and there is a softening or release of identification with – or as – them.
Said another way, something appears as a subject as long as it’s unexamined. When it’s examined, it’s revealed as – typically – a collection of words, images and sensations. It’s revealed as a collection of objects.
It’s not what I am, in the sense of taking some collections of words, images and sensations as a subject in contrast to other words, images and sensations that are taken as an object. And at the same time, the whole field of experience – including any words, images and sensations, are revealed as what “I” am.
So as there is an exploration of this, there is a shift from some collections of words, images and sensations appearing as objects and some as subjects (identified with or as) to more and more of the collections appearing as subjects being revealed as objects. Eventually, all is revealed as objects – happening within and as experience, and all is revealed as subjects – as what I am.
Another thing I see is that this is what many mystics and teachers from a wide range of spiritual traditions talks about, and since it’s difficult to put into words, it often appears as mystical or airy fairy. It can also be very practical and down to earth, and we have tools to explore this in a very pragmatic and practical way, for instance through the Living Inquiries. Perhaps that is a gift of this age, making what may appear mystical and elusive very practical and pragmatic. (I know that many traditions do have very pragmatic ways of exploring this, and yet, now, it’s at least more widely available. And it’s in a language and form that fits better the modern western mentality and mind.)
All life wants is to know itselfTo know and to be knownTo be seen, touched, sensed, experiencedLife has no need of happy endings:When you drop your demand for it to please youWhen you’re no longer screaming for it to make you happyIt unashamedly delights in itself, in its own sheer miraculousnessLife sends forth its invitation to you every dayAnd you, making your myriad excuses, usually declineBecause you know that if you say yesYour very own ten thousand things, your wonderful, labyrinthine creations(The mes and yous, hims and hers, its and thems)Will lose their substance, their gravity, around which you revolveOnce you finally stop spinning – even for a moment –You’ll see that all life is here (for there is nothing Out There)And unadorned, sublime, it truly has no need of happy endings– Fiona
One of the effects of the Living Inquiries is to un-velcro words and images from sensations.
When there is an emotional charge in a group of words, images and sensations, it’s difficult to allow and be with the sensations. There is often a pull or push there, and it’s sticky all around. Attention is brought to the sensations, and it triggers associated words and images, and the sense of charge, and this tends to draw attention into the charged story.
When this charge has released – through examining the words, images and sensations one by one – it’s much easier to be with and allow the sensations. They are recognized as just sensations. The sensations are noticed, felt, allowed to live its own life, and allowed to move through.
1. Addiction – Not only addiction to common drugs and alcohol but also addiction to thinking, gambling, sex, porn, eating, love, relationships, cleaning, work, worrying, rage, complaining, blaming and just about any other addiction you can imagine.
2. Anxiety – This includes generalized anxiety, phobias, PTSD, worry and all other forms of fear and anxiousness about the future or about specific situations.
3. Health, Illness, Physical Pain, Death – The inquiries bring relief from the psychological and emotional suffering around these issues.
4. Depression – This includes clinical diagnosed depression as well as depression that is self-diagnosed.
5. Stress – This includes extreme and frequent stress as well as the everyday stress that many experience in their family relationships, social situations, jobs and other areas.
6. Trauma – Childhood and other forms of trauma including sex and other abuse.
7. Obsession – Pure obsession, OCD and other forms of obsession.
8. Spiritual Seeking – Many people work with Scott or other facilitators because they are seeking enlightenment or awakening. The inquiries are quite effective in bringing about the awakening that is sought within a short period of time.
9. Self-Esteem Issues – Because the inquiries focus on what Scott calls “Deficiency stories,” these tools work to release all forms of low self-esteem.
10. Relationship Issues – The boomerang and panorama aspects of the inquiries release the psychological and emotional triggers that bring about struggle and disharmony in relationships.
11. Body contractions – Certain addictions and other behaviors occur because certain parts of the body contain energetic tightness or contraction (e.g., the throat, chest, stomach or pelvic area). The mining techniques of the inquiries release these contractions so that the body begins to feel warm, open, spacious and peaceful.
The Breadth and Effectiveness of the Living Inquiries, from livingrelationship.org.
I am in the certification program, so in a few months, I’ll hopefull be available to help people using the Living Inquiries.
A very basic point:
Unfindable doesn’t mean disappearing.
Looking for something – anything – in the sense fields, I cannot find it. I can only find words, images, sensations, taste, smell, and sight. And if I look for those, I cannot even find them.
That doesn’t mean that what I look for disappears. I may look for my computer without finding it, but I can still use it and type on it. It’s still here in a conventional sense.
It’s only that now, there is more clarity on how the appearance of a computer is created in my own mind, and there is less sense of inherent solidity or reality in it. And that means, should something happen to my computer, there is less charge around it and more clarity and rest.
I keep seeing some of my stories about body sensations.
Here are some:
I need to feel a certain way (energy, clarity, zest) to get something done.
I need this feeling to go away. I need it to change. This feeling is wrong.
This feeling means I am doomed. It means something terrible happened / will happen.
Some things to look for with the Living Inquiries:
Tension. Discomfort. Unease. Sensations. Physical pain. The one who has tension. The one who has discomfort. The one who wants it to go away. The one who wants a different feeling. The one who has physical pain. Boomerang situation: Feeling discomfort in my body, and getting caught in resisting it, wanting it to go away.
Some things I may explore with the Unfindable Inquiry from the Living Inquiries:
Longing. The one who longs (for love, deep sense of rightness, home, alignment). Boomerang situation: Longing in early childhood. Remembering how it was before incarnation (infinite love, deep sense of home and rightness), and not receiving it from my parents.
Fear. The one who is afraid. Boomerang situation: Fear about the future. Seeing myself in the future, alone, on the streets (or in a small apartment), a wreck, on government support, miserable, in mental turmoil.
Doom. The one who is doomed. Boomerang situation: A sense of dread. Primal sense of dread.
Loss. The one who lost what was most important to him. The one who will lose what’s most important to him. Boomerang situation: Loss of relationships, loss of passion/clarity, loss of opportunities (education, living places that felt right, work).
In exploring the Living Inquiries (Scott Kiloby) I am reminded of conglomerates.
When words, images and sensations appear as one whole, one conglomerate, and is taken as real, it appears very real, and it has real consequences in my life. I perceive, feel, think, act and live as if it’s real.
When this conglomerate is examined and seen for what it is – as words, images and sensations – and each of these are recognized as words, images and sensations, the sense of reality goes out of it. It’s recognized as not reflecting reality. It’s not as, or not at all, sticky anymore.
It’s quite amazing.
It’s amazing how real a combination of words, images and sensations may seem when it’s taken as real and not examined. It’s amazing how we can perceive and live as if it’s real.
It’s amazing how simple it often is to see what’s really here. It’s already here, just waiting to be more consciously noticed.
It’s amazing how the stickiness goes out of it after it’s examined.
For instance, I dread the future.
At first, it appears as just a feeling of dread. Then I notice it’s fear.
Then I notice the words associated with it. Something terrible will happen. My life will be terrible. My life will go down hill. I will be alone. I will be miserable. I won’t have enough money. I won’t be able to function well. I will live on government support in a small apartment in Norway without any friends. I will live a sad life.
Then I notice the images. Me alone in a small apartment in Norway. Me in misery.
Then I notice the sensations associated with these fears.
And for each of these, I look for the threat. Is there a threat in each of the words? Each of the images? The sensations? In each of these, is there a me there that something terrible will happen to?
The time-bound story of self is only a series of words and pictures. This story is designed to feel incomplete. In this story, we’re looking for anything that fills the sense of lack that is our constant companion.
Lack is our constant companion for only one reason: we continue fueling the belief that our freedom resides in the future, in the next moment, the next fix.
Do you see the vicious cycle of seeking? It’s the very thought that the future holds our fulfillment that makes the present moment feel as if it’s lacking.
This one critical insight can change everything. Each time a thought or sensation arises that tells us this moment is lacking something, we can make the decision to rest in presence instead of emphasizing the thought or sensation.
In resting in thought-free presence, we come to realize that this moment is already complete as it is.
– Scott Kiloby, excerpt from his upcoming book Natural Rest for Addiction.
Addiction is based around the idea of a one time fix. Like, I’m going to take this drug or do this thing and wipe away all my pain. Of course, it never works. Pain is still there. But to treat the inquiries the same way doesn’t do them justice. Don’t think in terms of “what inquiry can I do to wipe away my pain for good.” Isn’t this just looking for another fix? A Magic wand?
The inquiries are used best, in my view, as a way to create a different relationship to what is arising, to let it be as it is, and to see that it is not what it first appeared to be. For example, it looks like there is an urge to drink, but upon looking it can’t be found. Or it looks like there is a threat, but upon looking, it can’t be found. And through this looking you are changing your relationship to what is. Instead of trying to escape discomfort, you are allowing it as it is. Instead of looking for a one time fix (in a drug, a drink or a certain inquiry), the experience of life itself changes, where all is allowed as it is. And yes that brings quite often less or no addiction, less or no fear, less or no identification. But NOT as some magic wand that you wave once, but rather by seeing your experience differently moment by moment. A one time fix, whether it is from a drug or a particular inquiry, is just an experience. It comes and goes like everything else. But to be awake within your life in every moment is quite a radical change. And by “awake” I don’t mean some mystical state in the future. I’m merely saying, for example, do you see that mental picture of wine, is there a command to drink actually on it?
– Scott Kiloby on addiction and the Living Inquiries
I noticed a somewhat familiar background belief today:
I can’t have what I want.
And more specifically:
I can’t have a good education, job, house, family life.
There is also an early memory associated with this:
My father seems very competent (with work, house, family life) and it seems mysterious. I have no idea how he does it. It seems unreachable to me. My father didn’t include me in how he did it. He didn’t train me. He didn’t mentor me. I picked up (and have to deal with) his shadow.
That I have already had all of those don’t really impact the belief. It’s still there at a more wordless level, at the level of images and emotions. And I sense that there is something there that the verbal beliefs I have found so far don’t quite touch.
So I hold satsang with this part of me, and myself as a child thinking/feeling that my father’s competence seems mysterious and out of reach to me.
I can also do ho’oponopono with it, and shake (neurogenic tremors, TRE) on it, and plan to later today.
Holding satsang and ho’o helps me become more familiar with it. It helps me befriend it, soften my relationship with it. It goes from being an apparent enemy, something I wish to push away and see as wrong, to something I can befriend. It’s less of an “other”, or not at all an other anymore.
Neurogenic tremors – while bringing this part of me to mind, and also the childhood situation – helps release tension associated with this, which in turn helps me befriend it, and meet it with curiosity.
All of this prepares the ground for inquiry. It feels helpful for me now, it takes some of the charge out of it which makes it easier for my mind to find curiosity and stability for the inquiry. And I also know I could very well go straight to inquiry.
First, I explore it with the Living Inquiry:
I can’t have what I want. (A good education, job, house, family life.)
Look at the words and letters. Put them, in your mind’s eye, up on a large billboard. Notice they are words and letters. Is there a real, not imagined, threat in those words and letters?
If yes, where do you feel it in the body. What are the images associated with those sensations? Put those images, in your mind’s eye, in a frame and up on a wall. Make it big. Is there a real, not imagined, threat in that image? (Then repeat the previous step.)
What are the images associated with this fear? [There is an image of me as a kid looking at my father. An image of me unable to arrive at or reach a good education, a good job, a good house, a good family life.] Look at each of those images. Put them in a frame up on the wall. Is there a real, not imagined, threat in each of the images?
Where do you feel it in the body? Look at the sensations that lends a sense of validity and truth to the previous images and words. What images do you have of those sensations? Is there a real, not imagined, threat in those images?
Bring attention to the sensations. Allow them to be there, and notice they are already allowed to be here. Is there a real, not imagined, threat in those sensations?
Later on, I can also take specific beliefs to The Work.
For instance, I can’t have a good job and house. Is it true? What happens when you believe that thought? Who would you be without it? What is the validity in each of the turnarounds?
I am reading Kundalini Vidya: The Science of Spiritual Transformation, and find it interesting and helpful. It is, of course, a story, and it can also be helpful in a limited way, especially when recognized as a story, as imagined. I see that for me, what they call the Makara point may have been reached a few years ago during a period of six months of clarity. This was followed by chronic fatigue and some serious unloading (of wounds, trauma, anything unresolved and sticky) and what they call restoration and renovation of the subtle body. I also see that the particular path that this may have taken for me may have been the Hrit process. For me, the unloading has centered around the heart, and that seems typical for that particular process. The Hrit process also seems associated with Christ and Christian mystics, they say that the purging process may be sudden and difficult if there are heavy vasanas left to unload, and that also seems to fit for me. And I am aware that I really don’t know. At most, it’s a story to hold lightly.
I have another sleepless night with things going on in the heart area. A thought calls it heartache. It seems connected to early childhood experiences (perhaps my mother being less available, relaxed and loving than I needed/wanted) and also the incarnation and (apparent) loss of the complete satisfaction between incarnations and before this one. There are also present circumstances which brings this up.
I hold satsang with it.
You are welcome here.
Thank you for protecting me.
Thank you for your love for me.
What would satisfy you forever?
What are you really?
I stay with each of these for a while, allowing it to sink in.
Heartache. Put the words up on a billboard. H-e-a-r-t-a-c-h-e. Is there a threat in those letters? In the word? If yes, what’s the images associated with sensations lending heartache substance? Is there a real, not imagined, threat in these images? (For me, these are more abstract images.)
What are the images associated with this heartache? Take each image and put up on the wall (in your mind’s eye) in a frame. Make it big. Notice it’s an image. Is there a real, no imagined, threat in that image? (For me, some are images from the past and future, and some are more abstract.)
What are the sensations associated with the heartache, lending a sense of reality? Notice and stay with these sensations. Is there a real, not imagined, threat in those sensations? Allow the sensations to be here. They have been pushed away for so long, now is the time to allow them, to notice they are already allowed. Notice how they change.
I notice that any sense of threat and reality in the heartache comes from words, images and sensations coming together into one apparent unity. When they are recognized as distinct and separate, and examined for threat, I see that what’s really there is quite different from the initial appearance. It loses it’s sense of reality and stickiness.
I can continue this exploration, looking for the “me” who has a heartache, or who has lost loves, or is unloved, or is unlovable.
For me, right now, what seems most helpful is to find that the heartache is love. It’s worried love. Here to protect (the image of) me. And also to notice that the label, images and sensations each are innocent, harmless. There is no threat there. There is no “me” with a heartache there, no “me” who has lost loves or is unloved or unlovable.
Notice: The first is from Pamela Wilson, the second is the Living Inquiries from Scott Kiloby. I am very grateful to both.
Sometimes, there is a sense of collapse. The first time I remember it I was in London with my parents, was exhausted after a long day, and wanted Coke in a can but they only had bottles (I was about five years old). Along with the collapse is sadness, hopelessness, despair, and a sense of being paralyzed or freezing. Nothing I can do will make a difference. It’s hopeless. Life is unfair. Life has singled me out (to be treated unfairly). It won’t change.
Some things to look at:
Identify the images related to the collapse, sadness, hopelessness, paralyzed, freezing, anger. Some may be concrete, other abstract.
Is there a real, not imagined, threat in each of these images? Is there a command to collapse in those images? A command to be sad, hopeless, frozen, paralyzed, angry?
Then, bring attention to the sensations that goes with the collapse etc. and leave the images to the side. Is there a real, not imagined, threat in these sensations? Is there a command to collapse (etc.) in those sensations?
Then, repeat the same with images and sensations related to a sense of me that this is happening to. Is there a threat there? Is there a real, not imagined, me there? Is there a command there to believe there is a real me?
I have an email in my inbox I want to answer, and notice some resistance.
Since I am just learning how to do the Living Inquiry, I thought I would try it on this situation.
I notice an image of R. who sent me the email. In my mind, I put it in a frame and up on the wall and make it bigger. I notice it is an image. Is there a real and not imagined threat in that image?
My body reacts so there is a “yes” there. I notice a more abstract shape – a dark blog – in my throat and chest area. I put this in a frame and up on the wall. Is there a real and not imagined threat in that image? No.
I return to the image of R. Is there a real and not imagined threat in that image? No.
I bring attention to the sensations in my body that come when I think about the email, and allow the images to be set aside. I notice they are sensations. Is there a real and not imagined threat in those sensations? No.
I find an image of a me that relates to the email and replying to it, and put this image in a frame up on the wall and make it bigger. Is there a real and not imagined threat in that image? Is that image a real and not imagined me? Yes. (Again, the yes points to an underlying belief.)
I notice an more abstract image of a blob in the head and neck area that seems to be a me. I put this image in a frame up on the wall. Is there a real and not imagined me in that image? No.
Is there a real and not imagined me in the (previous) image of me? No.
After doing this, the “stickiness” of this situation is less and I went an answered the email.
One thing I like about this form of inquiry is that I can (a) notice there is an underlying belief (notice body reaction), (b) identify the underlying belief (an image, often more abstract for me), (c) inquire into that underlying belief, and (d) check it by returning to the initial image. Another is that I get to work with these often a bit blurry and abstract images, which has a very real impact when combined with sensations and the two form an apparently real and solid object.
I notice some fear or hesitation about having a good life, having a life that feels deeply right.
Can you find a real, not imagined, threat in the word and letters “good life”?
Can you find a real, not imaged, threat in your images of a good life?
Can you find a real, not imaged, threat in the sensations that goes with this fear?
Can you find a real, not imaged, me in the images of a me that may or may not have a good life?
Can you find a real, not imaged, me in the sensations that goes with your sense of me?
You don’t have a good life, in this moment, is it true?
You haven’t had what you consider a successful life, is it true?