Dream: Reborn as androgynous

 

I am reborn as androgynous and am surprised but also find it satisfying and interesting.

This is a dream fragment from a few days ago that came to mind. I am somehow reborn, find myself as androgynous, and am surprised although also enjoy it and want to explore it further. When I am reborn, I am already an adult.

This likely reflects a more conscious embrace of the feminine and masculine in myself, and being more comfortable with both.

Much of what we see as feminine and masculine qualities are, of course, culturally influenced or determined. And embracing both sides of us doesn’t mean a bland middle, it means being comfortable with both, embracing and being comfortable with both in ourselves, and live from and make use of either in our life as situations call for it.

Dreams: New levels in my house and selling land

 

My partner and I are at my parent’s house, which we are soon to take over. We have been cleaning and organizing, and I discover to levels to the house I had forgotten about. The top-level has a beautiful and charming room with Persian rugs, large pillows, and wall hangings. It also has a beautiful outside area with grass. I used to live here but had completely forgotten it existed. Outside, I find a leather backpack with some things in it from a period of my life I also had completely forgotten about. Someone has clearly been keeping up this top level of the house since all is clean and fresh. I also discover a basement level that I had forgotten about. It’s not dusty but it does have things in storage we need to sort through and we’ll get rid of several things.

This is the classic house dream where we discover new rooms and areas. In this case, a beautiful top level and a basement with some things to sort through. In both cases, I had known but completely forgotten about them, and then rediscovered them. These are “rooms” in me that I have forgotten about and now may be rediscovering.

In this case, what are these rooms? One is a beautiful and comfortable top-level that combines comfort and nature. The other, a basement to sort through. The first may be a sense of enjoyment of life and spaciousness. The second, things in my “basement” – emotional issues etc. – to sort through.

I should mention that in waking life, my partner and I have sorted through a lot in my parents house recently, both in the attic and the basement.

That was the second dream this morning. Here is my first dream.

I and my partner own farmland just down the street from my parent’s house in Norway. It’s neighboring farmland that a friend from school owns. We all want to sell the land. My friend wants to sell his quickly to developers to get the money. I talk with his partner about another possibility: If we sell the two pieces of land as one to someone who wants to do organic farming or permaculture, the land will be more valuable and he may get as much or more than if he sells it to developers. I suggest we all walk around all of the lands to see what’s there so we can use it when advertising the sale. I hope he will agree since it feels better to sell it to someone who will use it properly.

I am not exactly sure what this is about. My friend is a waking life friend and he does own that farmland which he is leasing to someone else. His farm is a five-minute walk from my parents’ house and where I grew up.

The dream does reflect my lifelong waking interest in sustainability, organic agriculture, permaculture, and so on. There is some negotiation going on. And I am holding the outcome lightly but hope to preserve the land for growing food in a sustainable way.

I am selling a piece of land close to where I grew up. I wonder if this is about “selling” something from my childhood connected to my parents and where I grew up. Perhaps my system is in the process of letting go of something.

Dream: Libertarian politician spreading Covid

 

I work at a university and work on a project with a group of people in a large shared space. We hear someone coughing and sneezing, and see a libertarian politician (Christian Tybring-Gjedde from FrP) at his desk. He is clearly very sick, and it turns out he has Covid. We talk to him, he stands up and approaches us, and sneezes just as someone passes him.

I tell him that he should be home and that it is irresponsible of him to come to work and risk others getting infected. He ignores it and shows no intention to stay at home. The others in my group choose to say nothing since he is a well known political figure in Norway. I let him know that if he does not leave and stay in quarantine, I’ll go to the police, media, and his superiors at the university.

This dream reflects several themes. One is that I see people from his party (FrP) as generally irresponsible, immature, and short-sighted. His behavior is not unexpected for someone from his party.

In terms of the pandemic, I see people who don’t pay attention to distance, wearing masks, and disinfecting their hands as irresponsible. We don’t know if we are infected or not (we may not have symptoms), and we don’t know who we will infect and how they will be impacted. By being careless, we may unwittingly infect someone who will die or have lasting health problems from the illness. And it’s impossible to predict who that will be. It’s a form of russian roulette.

Another theme is a pattern of speaking up about something, and others agreeing but not speaking up or supporting me.

And, as always, everything and everyone in the dream reflects me. I have this stubborn and careless side to me. (Especially when it comes to being a steward of my own life.) And I have the side of me that speaks up about it, even if it feels scary.

The dream reminds me of these sides of me, and that I can invite and explore a better dialog between them. What does the stubborn and careless part of me want me to know? How does it see the world? How can I help it feel more understood so it can relax and be a better team mate?

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Dream: Saving a child

 

Some friends have a daughter who is likely to die unless she can receive medical help which involves a compatible donor. It turns out I am the only one who is compatible. As far as I understand, she will die if she catches the pandemic virus, and my immune system can help her be protected against all eight variations of the virus. I am more than happy to help, and the process also deepens the connection between us all.

These are people I don’t know in waking life. Being a “donor” here means sharing something about my immune system that protects against the pandemic virus, and I may be the only one who can. I am very happy to do it.

In general, she may represent a young and vulnerable inner part of me in need of help, and I am – obviously – the only one who can help.

I wonder if the immune system here means resilience. Supporting this young part of me to be more resilient. To feel more protected, safe, loved.

Dream: Nazis baffled by kindness

 

It’s during the second world war in Europe. A group of Jews are in a secret workshop making something. (Forged money?) Nazis enter the room looking for Jews, and the Jews greet them with warm kindness. The Nazis seem baffled, assume these people are OK (not Jews), and leave.

This is one of the dreams which are more like a movie and I am an observer more than a participant. The essence of the dream was that the Nazis were looking for jews and other “criminals”, they assumed the group of Jews were OK since they greeted them with such warmth and kindness, so they left.

In my waking life, I am exploring a new layer of this in myself. Whenever something comes up in me that my habitual pattern is to avoid, I instead notice it’s a flavor of the divine and invite the divine – in that form – to notice itself as the divine. Where I previously would “dehumanize” and “criminalize” what came up, I instead greet it more warmly and recognize it as a flavor of the divine.

This has been a process, and when my habits reject an experience it’s typically not very strongly. But it’s something I keep exploring, and have explored in a slightly different way over the last few weeks, so perhaps the dream is reflecting this exploration. And perhaps it’s reminding me that the Nazi-Jew analogy is or was more fitting than I like to admit.

Just so there is less room for misunderstanding: This is about my own internal process, and perhaps the internal process of all of us. It’s not about the waking world, although perhaps the “friendly” tactic could have worked in some situations. It’s not meant to generalize beyond my own inner processes or some rare waking-world situations.

In our waking world, it’s obviously not enough, and sometimes not so appropriate, to treat nazis with kindness. We can have empathy and understanding for anyone, but we also need to take action – and sometimes strong action – to prevent harm.

Dream: Surviving an airplane’s near-crash

 

I am on a large plane from Los Angeles to London and sit in the first row in the front section. The plane is having trouble during the second part of the trip, and I notice vibrations and see black smoke outside. We are able to land in London, although it was a rough landing. I depart with the others in my section, and we are all relieved.

After we are off the plane, we realize the situation was more serious than we had realized. The back section of the plane is a burnt-out wreck and everyone there had died.

A few minutes later, we are in a small café, watching the news reports on the plane and the dead. One of the people with us had been interviewed just a minute earlier, and they played that interview.

I am not exactly sure what this dream is about.

On the one hand, it feels like the world is a kind of plane crash this year – with the pandemic, the huge fires in Australia and the US west coast, Trump and the polarization in the US, and so on. Although I have my own challenges, mostly unrelated to all this, I also know I am very privileged and fortunate in the midst of all this. I am one of those who (so far) have survived the metaphorical plane crash.

At the same time, the dream is me. Everything represents parts of me. I have gone through a rocky phase of my life – in terms of health and other sides of life, and I feel I am about to safely “land” for now. Some parts of my system feel like a “burnt-out wreck” from a long illness, although as a whole I feel psychologically OK. Also, parts of us die all the time, in different ways (sometimes just through transformation), and we don’t always notice until after. Perhaps the dream is reflecting some of these things.

Dream: Looking for my partner, staying underwater for as long as I want

 

My partner has fallen out of a boat and is drowning. I dive into the water to find her. At first, it’s difficult to hold the breath and see underwater, but then I find I can stay underwater for as long as I want, go as deep as I want, and I can see through the water clearly. I find her, bring her to the surface, and at first think she is dead. But it turns out she is alive. I am deeply grateful.

In the dream, I am not the one I am in waking life, and my partner is also not the one I have in waking life. Our genders are not one or the other. It seems that both of us are man and woman. Shortly after diving into the water, I find I can easily and fast move through it, I can stay as long as I want, and I can easily see through the water as if it was completely transparent.

We are more fundamentally human (and Spirit) than we are men and women, and we all have what we call feminine and masculine qualities. As soon as we see beyond our surface gender identities, we find ourselves as whole human beings.

I am able to be underwater for as long I want, I can swim easily, and I can easily see through the water. This may reflect that I am more comfortable dive into my sensations and emotions, it’s easier for me to stay with (in) them indefinitely, they are transparent to me and I can metaphorically see through them. I have had other dreams of being able to be underwater indefinitely.

My waking-life partner did a one-day Vortex Healing class yesterday and felt a bit disintegrated and flooded with old things surfacing after class. Perhaps that’s what I picked up when I dreamt she was drowning.

Update: The same morning I had this dream, my partner dreamt she was swimming underwater in the deep ocean at night.

I have lunch in a restaurant or café. Trump sits in a corner with his meal. He seems completely deflated and almost not alive. I sit at a table close to him but don’t feel I need to acknowledge him. The others there also know he is there but don’t acknowledge him.

It may be that Trump will lose the election and feel deflated like this. This is also how I see him beneath his reactivity and bluster: empty and deflated.

It’s also how I feel if I try to make myself something I am not, if I try to make myself important, if I try to inflate myself. Behind the inflation is deflation.

Dream: Young inventor

 

I am with and observe a young boy who creates simple and creative inventions out of wood. I know he will invent a large number of other things later in life, and that he is young Benjamin Franklin.

Why this dream? Perhaps it’s a reminder to myself of my own creativity and ability to invent, and that this is an ability that can grow and flourish.

More accurately, when it comes to the areas I am interested in – healing, awakening, and to some extent art – I find that following my own path and following where my internal processes lead, inevitably takes me somewhat off the beaten track. It takes me into uncharted territory. So perhaps the dream is really an encouragement for me to trust this process, even if it takes me into uncharted territory.

It’s a territory that may be uncharted for me in a conventional sense. That’s certainly uncharted for me since here and now it’s fresh and the past only lives in my imagination (and the traces found here and now). That may be more or less uncharted by mainstream society. And that may also be more or less uncharted by others in general. (Although probably not, the general insights are often discovered by many people with some inevitable unique flavors.)

A part of me wants to join the mainstream. Whenever my process takes me somewhere, this part wants to compare it with what others have reported. There is some hesitation to fully follow my own process without being so concerned about how it matches or doesn’t match what others have found. So the dream may encourage me to be more like this little boy inventing and following his own path, wherever it leads him.

Own dream, and my partner and I sometimes have very similar dreams at the same time

 

I am in an outdoor shopping area in Southern California – a place like Palm Springs or Santa Monica. I try to find the parked car and the person I came with, and cannot remember either. I meet a teenage boy saying he is having a difficult time, and I tell him fifteen was my most difficult year. I then sit down and listen to a phone message – someone from South Africa wants to sell diamonds (scam). As I sit there, a young man with very characteristic face comes up to me, is annoying, and refuses to leave. I push him away with my foot.

I kick something over by the side of the bed which wakes me and my partner up. I tell her my dream, she tells me her dream, and it turns out we had very similar dreams at the same time. She too dreamt she was out shopping with a friend, she finds her car but it has not keys (and starts anyway), and she is similarly bothered by a young man who fits the description of the young man in my dream.

This has happened several times before. We seem to have similar dreams at the same time.

The dream itself seems a bit disjointed. I cannot remember where the car is parked or who I am with. The teenager probably reflects me working on issues from my teens the day before. I am not sure about the scam phone message, although it may partly reflect unease about the information situation in the world today (all the conspiracy theories, misinformation etc.). The young man with the unusual face (smooth, triangular) was a bit weird and insistent, both in my dream and my partners.

Of course, it’s all me. The distressed teenage boy is the unhealed parts of me from that time in my life. The scam attempt reflects how I sometimes scam myself – when I lead myself astray by believing my thoughts. The bothersome young man is also me, perhaps a part of me that reacted to pain and trauma by being a bit weird and insistent.

I can find where I am like that young man. And I also see it in my own life when I was in my early twenties – I was very driven and caught up in certain ideas.

Dream: False world

 

I am headed somewhere with my partner and a group of friends. We meet two women and they talk with us and seem to want something from us. The others move on and I stay for a little longer. I soon realize something is off. It’s as if this world is created and they are unable to get all right. When something surprising happens, it takes a little while for the recreation to respond, and parts of the environment is created as I look at it. Even my body is part of this creation. The two women function as avatars for whomever has created this world, and they seem to want something from me. I am not sure what.

I had this dream after some old unprocessed materials had come up the night before. The dream may remind me that the world created by this “bubble” of separation consciousness is created and not real the way it may seem.

In general, we do create our own reality – to some extent – through our mental overlay in and its assumptions and interpretations. This dream reminds me of this.

One of the women in the dream looks like Jennifer Lawrence. I see her as friendly, charming, and disarming. Perhaps she was chosen as an avatar for that reason.

In the dream, someone was behind the whole false reality. In waking life, nobody is behind it. It’s an expression of life – in the form of our own mind.

Beyond that, I am not sure what this dream is about. Perhaps it was mainly to remind me of the created quality of my own world, and especially the stressful aspects of it.

Dream: Back in the town where I first lived

 

I am with my partner in Kristiansand, a coastal town further south in Norway. We are there for a workshop. We get separated briefly and I find an amazing bookstore for graphic novels, on par with anything I have found in the US. Walking down the main street, I start having recollections. I know this place. I then remember that I was born in this town and lived here until I was one. Behind some white arches, I remember there was a toy store I loved and was inside of a few times. I find my partner again and excitedly tell her that I remember living my first year in this town.

In waking life, I was born in Oslo, not Kristiansand. The workshop may have been a distance Vortex Healing class, with people from Norway gathered in the same place for the sake of community. The night before this dream, I looked at art made by a friend (FB) who grew up in this town, and I also passed by the town earlier this summer. The graphic novel store and toy store has to do with childhood and youth. My friend was someone I met as I transitioned to (some kind of) adulthood and he always had a youthful enthusiasm tempered with knowing what it takes to get things done.

The theme of this dream was healing (the class) and remembering early life. There was an excitement and sense of youthfulness in the dream.

When I explore my early life, one aspect is looking at situations that created emotional issues, and the other is reconnecting with youthful enthusiasm and the sense that the world is a wide open place.


Note: When I say “created emotional issues”, it’s more accurate to say “situations where my mind responded, in order to protect this human self, with creating what we call emotional issues”.

Dream: Solving a mystery in the basement of a church

 

I am in the basement of an old church with a group of friends. It’s open to the outside and a river runs by it. We are solving a mystery through what we find there, including some bones (not human) in the ground.

After this, I am driving an old truck with my friend Nick R. We see signs of a flood that has now receded.

Closer to center of town, I am with my partner in a room. She is trying out different outfits for a costume party: Rachel from Bladerunner, hippie, and she settles for a classic look.

The church is the oldest building in the area. We are in the basement, looking around, digging and finding things in the soil. And we are solving some mysteries. This may reflect me exploring and learning more about my own old issues from early in life.

I was with my partner and a group of good friends. It may reflect that I am in a kind of community when it comes to this type of explorations – with my partner and friends. And it may also reflect that an inner community is part of these explorations.

Nick R. is a friend I met through permaculture and was there in the two first segments of the dream. He is warm, earthy, spiritual, wise, and I consider him a good friend.

This is after a flood. Two days ago, I had a controlled meltdown where I allowed myself to be flooded – to some extent – with whatever emotions came up (hopelessness, anger etc.). Sometimes, it’s important to have these controlled meltdowns and I have felt more clear after.

My partner is trying on outfits and settles on something classic. This happened the day before when she looked at different dresses online and she / we settled on a classic one.

Dream: Robbed my famous Danish artists

 

I return home and see the door open and a group of Danes there. I realize they are robbing my place and talk to them and explain my situation. (My health situation, don’t have much income and only the most necessary belongings etc.) The ones I talk with seem to understand and they return some of what they have taken. After they leave, the neighbors over me say they recognized one of the men as a famous artist and the others as part of the community around him. I also talk to someone who recognized them because he has studied and written about their art. He tells me who they are but is not willing to testify. As he leaves, the art scholar points to a painting that hangs in a gallery across from my place. It’s large and is a kind of ice berg made up of colorful cubes.

Earlier in the dream, I live somewhere else than I do in waking life, perhaps somewhere in Europe. When I return home and find them in the process of robbing my place, it’s where I live in waking life. And when I talk with the neighbor and the art scholar and writer, it’s in Denmark, probably Copenhagen. The painting is good but not the type of art I resonate with them most.

My home is robbed by artists. They haven’t taken much, and they return some before they leave. They seem reasonable and friendly enough. I get the impression they have some anger against the ones they perceive as bourgeoisie. When I talk with them, they realize I don’t really fit into that category as they see it, so they soften a bit.

Also, it’s interesting that artists rob me since I was an artist in my late teen and early twenties, thought that would be my life path, and have some moments of slight discomfort when I remember and what may have been.

As I am about to wake out of the dream, I sense that it’s the artist parts of me that are resentful because they are rarely in use in my life now. They rob me to get attention. I didn’t get the sense that they robbed me because they needed to. It was more out of resentment of the person they thought I was – more bourgeoisie.

I wish to bring the artist parts of me more out and in use. And I am aware that I appear more bourgeoisie – in clothing and otherwise – than I am.

When we are authentic, we natural straddle the conventional and the more unconventional and even radical.

Dream: Grant Imahara

 

I am at a builders fair and stand in line to talk with Grant Imahara. He recognizes me since we worked together on Mythbusters, and smiles. (I was a writer/researcher on Mythbusters.) After greeting each other, I tell him I have an adopted son, we would like to get into robotics, and I ask him for advice for how to best start. He tells me about a good starter kit. As I leave, I see he is visibly moved and I see a tear falling from one of his eyes. I wonder if he is moved because he recently died. Later, I buy the kit with different small robots that can be rebuilt and programmed, and realize it’s easier to get started than I thought.

This is an odd dream, although dreams often are. I obviously never worked on Mythbusters, although if I did it probably would be in that type of position. I like Grant Imahara and identify with him in some ways, and he did recently die. And I don’t have an adopted son, although I sometimes have wanted children and that kind of family life. In the dream, Grant is moved and I see a tear, and I wonder why he is moved. It may be because he died.

The dream may be a reminder of appreciating my life even more. From the perspective of one who has died, this life is amazing. From the perspective of someone who has died, my life is amazing, even if it’s sometimes difficult and I sometimes wish it was different.

That seems to be one essence in the dream. The dream-maker in me may have used him since he recently died and I can see myself in him, and the setting may have been to make sense of meeting him and he having a connection with me.

All parts of any dream is created by my mind and represent parts of me. So what does Grant Imahara represent? To me, he has a childlike enthusiasm and friendliness, and this is a part of me that I feel I somewhat lost connection with because of my recent health and life situation, and the way I have responded to it. This part of me has died, but is somehow still alive, and may be sad because I lost connection with it.

The son may be a new part of me that I am going to teach something to, or learn something with.

I’ll stay with the the dream and see if something else comes up.

Pandemic dream: out among people as before and thinking I need to be more careful

 

I am out among people, talking with them, and being physically close to several. During these interactions, I keep thinking to myself: It’s a pandemic, I need to be more careful. How is it possible that I am so close to these people and none of us seem to remember the pandemic precautions?

I remember two or three of these types of dreams since the pandemic precautions started in Europe in March. I haven’t written them down here since they seem relatively self-explanatory.

In waking life, I am cautious about preventing spread of the infection, and the dream reflects some natural cautiousness and slight worry in me around it. It seems similar to the classic going-out-of-the-house-without-pants type of dreams.

Although the dream itself is perhaps not so interesting, I thought I would write it down here in case someone after the pandemic is curious about pandemic dreams. Or perhaps someone out there now or later is searching out pandemic dreams for some research purpose! It would be an interesting topic for research.

Dream: adventures with my partner

 

Gailynn is teaching a two or three day language class. It’s in Oslo and I am attending it with Ale – my partner – and a small group of others. At some point, Gailynn sits down with me to show me something.

During a break, Ale takes me on a tour of Oslo. It’s amazing and we have a very beautiful time together. She takes me to small interesting markets and stores, and then two rides that go high up and then down again, one inside of a beautiful library.

Although I thought we were just on a long lunch break, Ale informs me with a smile that the class has ended.

I thank her for taking me to do things I would never have done on my own.

At some point, I realize I have lost my messenger bag and wallet, and have trouble remembering when I last had it and where I have been.

My partner sits down and makes me several small drawings. They are amazingly beautiful and I am very touched.

Then I realize I somehow have my bag and wallet. I am not sure if I lost them and they came back to me, or if I never had lost them.

Gailynn is a Vortex Healing teacher and my partner and I did take a class with her a couple of weeks ago. This class is a language class, but it’s not a regular human language. It’s a class about learning a different way to communicate.

For some reason, Ale seems far more familiar with Oslo and its hidden gems than I am, even if I have lived there for a while and she has not. She takes me on an amazing tour.

In waking life, I have some fear of heights. Ale takes me on two rides – kind of elevators – that go high up and then down again, one inside of a beautiful library. We go up in a small cabin with a few other people, it goes up perhaps 10-20 meters inside the large main space of the building, and as we go down my sight shimmer and shift. I realize that although I have some fear of heights, I enjoyed the ride immensely. I am grateful for my partner for taking me on these rides I would have done on my own.

My bag is missing, and then refound – or perhaps it never went missing. She makes a series of small drawings for me, and I am amazed how quickly she did it and how beautiful they are.

Some of themes here are: learning a new way to communicate, being taken on new adventures, shared and beautiful experiences, refinding something valuable to me I thought was lost, and being given a very beautiful, personal, and soulful gift.

Dream: A spiritual guide and joining the inner and outer

 

A spiritual guide is with my partner and I. He or she shows us what’s in us that we see in ourselves, what’s in us that we see in the world, and how we can see all of it in ourselves. We see a symbol with an outline of us, and two circles in each of us, one representing what we already see in ourselves and the other what’s in us that we see in the world.

This is one of the dreams that spells things out quite clearly. We each have two circles in us, one representing what we see in ourselves and “own” as our own, and the other representing what we see in the world that’s also in us but we may not be aware (yet) as being in. The guide helped us see both in ourselves.

Why would I have this dream? At a conscious level, I know it’s this way. And yet, last night I got caught up in some inner drama where I “forgot” it. The situation I had a struggle with mirrors something in me.

Why is the dream about me and my partner? Perhaps because the situation that triggered me last night also triggered her in a similar way, and it’s a shared situation for us. In a sense, the dream is for us both.

The stories I have about this outer situation also fit and describe me, and it helps me to examine it more in detail and find specific examples of how it’s true. I can use the outer situation to find in myself what I see there.

In my dream, the spiritual guide was a large figure without any clear features, and it was neither female or male and also had characteristics of both.

I should also mention that this is an example of the more explicit dreams I have written about before. During the first few years when I was really into Jung (in my teens and early twenties), I would have typical Jungian dreams. Then, I asked the dream-maker in me to sometimes skip the symbolism and make the dreams more explicit, and that’s what largely happened.

Dream: Taming a tiger

 

I am supposed to tame a huge tiger roaming around in the corridors of a hotel. It’s being filmed for a TV show and I am one in a series of people tasked to tame it. When I see the regular hotel guests going about their business and not worrying about the tiger, I start to wonder if it’s not as dangerous as I initially thought.

I have had several strong dreams over the last few days, perhaps because I have been in Vortex Healing classes, although I only remember fragments.

In this dream, I am supposed to tame and capture a huge tiger roaming around in a hotel, and then realize the guests are not worried about it so perhaps I also don’t need to worry too much. The tiger may represent something primal, vital, and powerful in me, which I am scared of and then realize I don’t need to be.

Update

Later in the day, my partner sent me this without realizing it was connected to my dream:

The beast is instinct. Nothing more than that. To let the beast act is to let instinct work. What relationship do you have with your instinct, how do you relate to your instinct, what does your instinct ask of you? Our instinct is Divinity itself.

In the dream, the tiger represents my animal side and instinct, and it showed me that there is nothing to fear there. It’s powerful, beautiful, and easily co-exists with people.

One of the last dream images is of a small woman needing to enter a door, the tiger was inadvertently blocking the door, so she unceremoniously pushed it away and went through the door. She was obviously not concerned, so why should I?

I was much more connected with my instinct in my late teens and early twenties, and when I got married there was less place for it. I abandoned it, which was traumatic for me. And now, it’s time to connect more wholeheartedly with it again.

Dream: On a stage, forgetting everything

 

I am on a stage with several others, and we will take turns leading a large group of people in meditation or healing or both. I have forgotten everything and I feel uncomfortable and a bit scared.

Then I realize that what I can forget is the techniques and phrases. What this is really about is what I am and what we all are, and that’s here and not forgotten. If I notice and trust that, I am OK.

All I need to do is helping others notice it for themselves.

Also, it’s OK to just be myself as I am, I don’t need to pretend or try to live up to an image. Healing and awakening is about being who and what we are – as we are.

One part of this dream interprets itself. In my daily life, and when I write or talk about these things, how would it be to rely less on memory and techniques and more on what’s alive for me here and now? Both will be here, so why not shift a bit more in the direction of relying on what comes to me and is alive for me?

It doesn’t need to look like it has in the past.

It helps to remember that healing and awakening is about noticing what’s already here. I don’t need to invent anything. I don’t need to convince anyone about anything. All I need to do is help people discover it for themselves. I serve as a reminder and pointer, and that’s all that’s needed.

Also, how is it to remind myself that it’s OK for me to be as I am. I don’t need to live up to an image. Sometimes, I stop myself from going into certain roles because I feel I don’t have the charisma or official credentials or whatever else I imagine is required. But it’s not that way. Who we are, in addition to some experience and empathy and intellectual honesty, is often sufficient.

Another thing was clear to me in the dream. I felt I didn’t have much to contribute and didn’t feel comfortable up in a stage telling people what to do. Apart from working on this as an issue and identity, there is a similar solution.

When I remind myself that all I can do is help people notice what’s already here, and what they already are, it’s simpler. I am not telling people anything they need to take my word for. I am inviting them to find it for themselves.

This dream also reminds me how my dreams have changed over time. In my teens and early twenties, when I was immersed in Jung and his apporach to finding wholeness and working with dreams, I had typical Jungian and archetypal dreams. (If I had been into Freud, perhaps I would have had more Freudian dreams.)

At some point, I asked the dream-maker in me to make the message more clear and explicit in my dreams, and the dreams since have tended to be more simple, clear, and explicit.

Dream: Swimming underwater indefinitely in a deep and clear pool

 

I am with my partner in a small town. It’s a place where I used to live, perhaps in Devon (?), and it’s fun to revisit places I knew and see how some have changed and some have not.

We are then in a very large swimming pool. It’s perhaps fifty meters deep and the water is crystal clear and filled with a clear light and sunshine. I realize I can be underwater indefinitely. I swim twenty or thirty meters below the surface and see the others closer to the surface or on the surface. After a while, I decide to come up so they won’t wonder what happened to me. A swimming instructor is impressed and happy on my behalf.

The first part of this dream is similar to other recent dreams of being part of and exploring a community that’s interesting and has a rich feel to it. Here, I am visiting a place where I used to live.

The pool is deep with crystal clear water and a clear light shining through it. There isn’t really any sense of up or down in the pool. It’s all just water and I feel completely at home. I can swim under water indefinitely without any problem.

This second part of this dream is very similar to another recent dream.

I wonder if these dreams have to do with feeling comfortable going deep in the emotions. That has been a focus for my explorations recently. Especially recognizing the physical aspect of the sensations as flavors of the divine, bringing Divine Mother / Divine Father into it, and exploring it through dialog and Living Inquiries.

I wrote more about this in the comments about the previous dream so won’t go into it here.

Some associations:

When I woke up, I remembered the spacious crystal clear light I now sense where I live. Two days ago, a senior Vortex Healing practitioner put a Divine Door in the place, and it has brought in a sense of crystal clear spacious light very similar to the dream.

I also remember an experience in my waking life when I was around ten or twelve years old. I swam underwater in our local public swimming pool, and noticed I could keep swimming back and forth in the lane without needing air. At some point, after swimming for several minutes, I got up since I thought it was weird I could just keep going without breathing.

And one of my favorite movies several years ago was The Big Blue (Le Grand Bleu). I still love much about it and free-diving has always been a fascination for me and something I want to dive into more fully.

Dream: Interesting gathering

 

I am with my partner at a very interesting festival, perhaps in San Francisco. It has many different areas with very different focus and feel. One is like an old English village with many small speciality shops, including an amazing bookstore. A man shouts my name and it turns out to be a well-known Norwegian newscaster who was a friend of my father. We have a warm and good conversation and I bring my partner to introduce her to him.

The newscaster is a real person but, as far as I know, not a friend of my father. He is someone I perceive as warm and knowledgeable.

This is a typical dream for the last several months for me. Fun, interesting social gatherings that feel more like a community than a gathering of strangers. I guess it has something to do with my inner community. Perhaps they are all gathering and mingling more and feel more like a community.

And perhaps it also feels rich, interesting, multifaceted, and alive, as this and many other similar recentish dreams.

Dream: Old friend is now a Zen teacher

 

I am back in Salt Lake City where I lived at Kanzeon Zen Center for a few years in my mid-twenties. There is a new center there now, in the same tradition. I see someone I knew back then who is about my age. We talk and it’s clear we have the same realizations and insights. It turns out he is now the teacher at the center and he is leading a retreat.

I am seen and treated by the others as a beginner. Both he and I go along with it without saying or doing anything to change that impression.

My friend in the dream is a generic composite of several I knew back then.

This dream reflects some familiar experiences for me. I see people who started with things when I did, and continued within the system and have risen within the system while I left and did not. It’s familiar to me to be treated as if I have no experience when I join a new spiritual group, and I have experienced that what I say is interpreted within that context. It’s familiar to me to feel not seen, understood, and included.

All of these are relatively normal experiences, and for me they are connected with some issues. After waking up from this dream, I explored the issue of feeling not seen, understood, and included.

And behind that is the issue of fearing being seen, understood, and included. This feels more core. There is a fear of being acknowledged and for people looking to me as an authority and for answers.

That’s one reason I often don’t speak up or say or do things to change the impression people have of me.

Exploring that, I was brought back to a very vivid dream I had during the initial awakening process in my teens. I was a man in his late 30s or early 40s in Russia, well dressed, and with a genuine passion for art, literature, philosophy, and how we organize our society. My home was in a town near Moscow (?) and the time was the 1850s, ’60s and possibly ’70s. My family was wealthy so I spent months or years in Paris in the art circles there. As far as I know, I was not a professional artist myself but I loved the Parisian art scene.

I was also an anarchist and belonged to an anarchist group in the Moscow area. Some wanted to use violence to create the society they wanted, and as I was pacifist, I strongly opposed this. Perhaps unwisely, I stood up and said I would stop them by any means necessary, including going to the authorities with names and what I knew about them.

Instead, they stopped me. In the dream, I am running through a field a frosty winter morning, the pale sun is barely visible through the haze, and I know I am assassinated later that morning. I will be shot through the head. (When I shaved my head some years ago, I noticed I have birth marks where the entry/exit holes would be. According to people who do reincarnation research, it’s not uncommon to have a birth mark where a physical injury led to the death of the previous incarnation.)

I had a sense or knowing that this was my most recent incarnation, and others with good sensing abilities later confirmed that this looks like a real incarnation and my most recent one.

Who knows but the themes definitely make sense. I have a fear of speaking up and being seen, understood, and even taken seriously. If I was killed in a past life for doing that, those fears make sense. And if not, the Russian anarchist dream still makes sense as a reflection of these themes in my life.

I notice I feel slightly embarrassed and ashamed sharing this here. And that shows that this is an issue – or an issue complex – it’s good for me to continue to explore. Embarrassment and shame shows I haven’t quite found peace with it and that there is further to go in finding healing for the issue itself.

Notes: In waking life, a friend of mine (DT) is in the process of becoming a Zen teacher in that lineage. I assume the dream didn’t use him because I do feel seen by him.

We are all beginners in an important sense. We are all exploring and discovering. What we think we know we don’t really know. It’s very helpful to approach anything with receptivity and grounded humility. At the same time, in a conventional sense, we do have some experiences, skills, insights, and so on. And it’s good to acknowledge that as well – within the context of being a beginner in a more fundamental sense.

Dream: Swimming in the ocean for as long as I want

 

I am swimming in the ocean, mostly under water, and I am completely comfortable. I can stay as long as I want, even if the water is cold and there are large waves.

A child is here too. She is alone. Did she get lost from her parents? I decide to look after her until she finds her people. She is feisty and strong but I see that it covers a vulnerability and fear.

Water and the ocean often represents emotions. This dream may suggest that I feel comfortable swimming in and exploring my emotions, and that feels mostly accurate. Perhaps it’s telling me I am more comfortable with it than I consciously realize?

The girls seems lost. As many of my inner part feel lost because I abandoned them. I decide to look after her. I do it in a relaxed way but am very aware of where she is and am ready to step in if she is in danger or needs me for any reason.

Writing this, I wonder if this reflects the light touch approach I find helpful when joining with my inner parts and especially the lost ones.

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Dream: Asian neighborhood

 

I am in Oslo, although it feels more like a larger and more bustling and diverse city like San Francisco or London. I am in the Asian neighborhood, with Asian stores and restaurants. I am partly on my own and partly with friends, exploring the neighborhood, including a large library and/or bookstore. Towards the evening, I am walking with a group of friends to a restaurant to celebrate the new year. As we turn a corner, we see a lot of blood flowing out from a Korean restaurant.

This dream had a feeling of embracing the bustling activities and experiences of a larger group of people, and perhaps all of humanity. In the end, including violence and tragedy. There was a sense of it all being part of the wholeness, fullness, and richness of human experience.

I had this dream after receiving healing for a central childhood issue the night before. It may have brought a lot up to the surface for me, expressed through this dream.

I am not sure why the restaurant was specifically Korean.

Note: When I looked at the news after writing this, I saw that Kim Jung-Un – the leader of North Korea – may be seriously ill. This has been contradicted by South Korea. So perhaps it’s not much of a synchronicity.

The photo is from San Francisco’s Chinatown a few years back.

Precognitive dream

 

When I was in my late twenties, I had a cat. He was a rescue cat and we developed an unusually strong connection and bond.

One morning, I dreamt he was hit by a car and died. Most dreams have the processing-inner-material quality and this was different. This one felt like a precognitive dream. One that showed something that would or could happen. I have had some dreams like this, and this clearly felt like it was in the same category.

The cat was an indoor-outdoor cat and was good at taking care of himself. But following this dream, I decided to keep him inside for a while.

After a week, I let him out. On that same day, he was hit by a car and died.

It can sound like a “downer” story but I am very grateful for the time we had together. I still feel that strong bond with him. And it was a reminder that some dreams can be precognitive, and they tend to have a distinct quality to them.

Dream: China as the post-pandemic superpower

 

I dream that in the post-pandemic world, China emerges as the undisputed world power. The strength of Europe and the US has crumbled because of lack of inner cohesion.

This is what many have predicted for a long time already. China is the next superpower. US have overextended itself and its time as an empire is over, and this is hastened by inner polarization – encouraged by Fox News, Trump, and so on. And lack of inner cohesion is also weakening Europe, exemplified and hastened by Brexit.

And yet, the dream had a different quality. It felt like a certainty. It felt like the few real premonition dreams I have had. And the dream also didn’t include me as regular dreams do.

It felt pretty terrible. Not because Europe and the US had lost their power and influence. But because of the authoritarian and undemocratic regime of China. In the dream, they used their power to influence the policies of other countries – away from an open and democratic process – for their own benefit.

Of course, any dream reflect what’s going on in us. And anything we see in the world mirror ourselves. How are parts of me like China? In general, any time I react to fear, my inner world becomes authoritarian. It wants to control and suppress dissent (the fear and what it has to say). And when I soften into the fear, bring presence into it, and hear what it has to say, there is more of a democracy. The night before this dream, I had gone into reacting to fear instead of meeting it.

Day seeds: Reading articles about how China is helping other countries with the pandemic, and how this sows seeds of discontent. For instance, in Italy where they don’t feel helped by EU (which is not true) and that the help is coming from other places. A more cynical view says this is a deliberate policy by China – and Russia – in order to continue to weaken Europe and the US and strengthen their own position.

Dream: Traveling lightly

 

I am traveling lightly and only with things I can (easily) afford to lose. I feel light, it feels good, and I am happy.

This dream was more of an image or a simple scene. It may have been triggered by upcoming traveling plans and wanting to travel very lightly.

Of course, although it’s nice to travel lightly in a literal sense, it’s perhaps even nicer to travel lightly in a metaphorical sense. As our metaphorical baggage – identifications, beliefs, emotional issues etc. – lightens, we can travel lighter through life.

Why this dream? One answer is that I had thought about it the day before. Another is that the dream reminds me of how good it feels to travel lightly – in a literal and metaphorical sense. And yet another is that I am currently working on deep and core emotional issues from childhood, that lightens my system, and my dream may reflect that back to me.

Dream: Creature impersonating people

 

A friend of mine (BH) is visiting and we are having a good conversation. At some point, I notice that her face has morphed and although she has the same voice her face is different. I suspect something is going on, and ask what her name is. She says “Wendy” which is not the correct name. I realize I am talking with a creature that is impersonating people. The creature then disappears into a shelf in the room. I tried to catch it.

The creature is similar to some in the Harry Potter universe.

Over the last few days, I have been very aware of the fake part of me and felt it right on the surface of my inner world. I have partly taken it personally and felt ashamed, and partly seen it’s universal and a way for us to protect ourselves.

It’s innocent although it can hurt ourselves and others. And the creature in the dream also seemed innocent.

The night before, I had a deep conversation with my partner relating to this. Times when I have been fake (deceptive) out of fear, and hurt myself and others in the process. It’s normal and understandable, and yet I want to notice, be honest about it with myself and others, and be more real even and especially in scary situations.

Dream: Magic psychoactive potion

 

I am in a small rural town in England with a group of people. Adam S. and another are making a psychoactive drink. I hold a cup of it in my hands. Aware I am dreaming, I notice thinking that is not the same for my mind to imagine I am taking it as it is to actually taking it, and then remembering that it’s my mind creating the experience in either case.

I am on a train, on my way to the circle of the first part of the dream. Some bandits are on the train. I tell a friend it’s best we pretend to sleep and hide our faces so they don’t recognize us. (They know us.) He agrees but is relaxed about it. I pretend to sleep and they take a pillow, my sweater, and a bag of food. I run after them to get some of my food back since I need it.

Adam S. is a senior Vortex healer who gave me many sessions when I was new to Vortex Healing. He lives in Totnes, Devon, where I also lived for a six months some years back. The first part of the dream may have been set there – a little outside of a small town in a very charming part of England.

There was again, as in so many dreams these days, a sense of being part of an Earth-centered community. The psychoactive drink was made of a fungus from a tree. It comes from an unbroken ancient tradition. The purpose of the community and drinking it was for profound healing and supporting awakening and embodiment. And doing so with the help of the plant spirits and in a way difficult to do any other way.

The second part of the dream seemed to happen before the first part. I and a friend are on our way to the gathering, and some people with no good intentions are on the train. They know us so we find it best to hide our identity as long as possible. One of them steals my food which – in my waking life – is essential for me to avoid crashing. So I run after him to get some of it back.

Synchronicity: Walking on Hampstead Heath later in the day, with my partner, I see a tree-fungus on the side of the path. It’s the same type of fungus they made the psychoactive potion from in the dream. The photo is of this fungus.

Note: This is a dream. As far as I know, this type of fungus has no psychoactive properties in waking life.

Dream: Climbing up a tall building resting on the mountainside

 

I am in the mountains in Norway, in a beautiful valley surrounded by beautiful mountains. I am with a relatively large group of people and it feels like a community. My little group decide to go skiing up the mountain. They go ahead as I have something to do first, and I will then catch up with them.

As I have put away my phone somewhere else, I use a paper map and ask for directions (from a very beautiful woman). A little higher up the mountain, I catch up with my group. We then climb up the stairs of a very tall building that’s resting along the almost vertical mountainside. It has many opening to the outside and beautiful views, and there are also many small rooms along the way with many small interesting things to look at.

A few things stood out to me during the dream and as I woke up:

As with so many dreams these weeks, I am in a community and it feels very good. We have a shared orientation and purpose and there is a quiet mutual understanding and support. It’s not explicit in the dreams but it feels like these communities have to do with mutual support in living in a more life-centered way.

I have intentionally left my electronics. I want to just use an old fashioned paper map and asking people for direction. (This reflects a conversation the night before about using my phone and computer less, and not so often listening to a podcast or audiobook while falling asleep.)

Climbing a building is an image of “going high” in a mental or spiritual sense, and can mean being ungrounded or unstable. In this case, I climbed a very tall building which was also completely grounded since it rested on the side of the mountain. The building also had beautiful views and many small rooms with interesting treasures. (Again, the treasures reflect a conversation the day before about enjoying exploring little treasures that we or others have collected.)

This dream may reflect my inner community and climbing “higher” in a sense while also staying earthy and grounded.

All the community dreams may also remind me how much I love these type of communities. The ones I had when I worked with sustainability in Madison, Wisconsin, and Oregon. The ones I don’t have so much right now, apart from perhaps online.

The photo is one I took at Sisters, Oregon, more than ten years ago. Although it’s Oregon and not Norway, it is similar to how the mountains looked in my dream.

Dream: Finding new close relatives (after healing work the night before)

 

I have found two close family members from a previously “blank” part of the family tree. One is a little older than me, the other a young man. They are both black. I experience a deep and easy connection with both. We are traveling together and are now in an art museum while we also talk and get to know each other better.

We talk briefly with another small group of people and I first assume they will think we are three generations out together. Then I remember they are black and I am white. And wonder how we can be as closely related as we are while looking – to others – so different.

I am now aware it’s a dream and I feel sad and disappointed that it is a dream. I tell the older man and he nods knowingly in agreement.

In the dream, I don’t find it odd at all that I am so closely related to a black family – until I am aware that others will assume we are not at all related. I have a, easy, strong, and deep connection with both, and especially the older man (who looks like a slightly older version of Pharrel Williams – of Happy fame). It seems that we are in the US but that doesn’t play much of a role in the dream.

A former blank area on my family tree is now filled. I have found my klan and I feel a deep sense of belonging. And they both happen to be black. (I am 80% Scandinavian and 100% northern European.) We could easily have been three generations of the same close family – grandfather, father, and son.

What do I associate with African (black) people and culture? Mostly, I associate an inner freedom, spontaneity, and connection with the body, nature and Earth. (I know this is not always the case. African cultures are very diverse and people of African decent living other places – and often with slavery in their linage – may be different. But this is my main association.)

The night before this dream, I received healing work (Vortex Healing for choice points) for some central family patterns. Specifically, for not speaking and standing up for myself, burying my inner warrior and beast, and not following my inner guidance. These are patterns mostly from my father and my father’s lineage, and my two new relatives in the dream are both men – one older (who could be my father) and one younger (who could be my son). These represent another way of being. New close relatives. People I feel a deeper resonance with.

As I wake up, I am sad that it was a dream and not waking reality. I then remember my partner next to me and that I have a similar deep connection with her. (And that she has a portion of black ancestry.)

Dream: Art exhibit and shamanic training

 

I have put together a large exhibit. It’s art created from all different materials and of all different sizes – made by an Asian female artist. The whole community is here admiring and interacting with the art and each other. It’s held in a large community space used for many different activities.

After this, I am with my partner Ale. There is a transparent torso filed with many different smaller and larger things – each one representing parts of us (all levels of our being). I rearrange sections of the pieces. It’s part of shamanic training and of the healing and awakening process.

The art pieces were largely made of wood and fabrics and threads of all colors, and the pieces in the torso were made of the same materials and had the same colors – only much smaller.

My dreams over the last few months have had a community feel to them. In the first part of this dream, the whole community was there to enjoy an exhibit I had put together. I enjoyed very much being part of the community and seeing all of them enjoying it and enjoying this aspect of the community.

I am not sure why the artist was a woman from Asia. Perhaps because I have – since my teens – felt a strong connection with different Asian cultures and forms of Asian spirituality (especially Taoism and the more shamanic Tibetan form of Buddhism). And I am drawn to the more feminine approach to spirituality to balance out the more mainstream traditional masculine approaches.

In the second part of the dream, I am with my partner. Inside a transparent torso is many different small things of all different colors and shapes. I rearrange sections and it’s part of my shamanic training and also the awakening and healing process. The different parts represent parts of our being at all levels – thoughts, emotions, energies, physical body and so on.

When I explore myself, this is the experience I have. I am exploring many different parts of myself and they all have different shapes and colors and go together in different ways. And I am exploring myself as all different levels. (Through informal and formal inquiry, energy healing, and more.)

In a way, the first dream was about an outer community and the second my inner community. The dream is a reminder that my outer community reflects my inner community, and how I relate to one reflects and influences how I relate to the other. This mirroring is highlighted by the art and the things in the torso being made by the same organic and natural materials and having similar colors.

In the dream, I was an active part of my outer community and I offered a community experience they very much appreciated and enjoyed. I then explored my inner community in the presence of my partner and in a sacred or shamanic context.

Dream: I am five years old, giving a message to people trying intimidate me

 

I am five years old and in our house with my parents. I know something that can be dangerous for some criminals. In the middle of the night, they come and pretend to be phantoms with lights and ghostly sounds. I shout at them and tell them I know who they are, what they try to do, and that it won’t work.

In my dream, I am myself at five years old. My parents are in the house and are the age they were when I was five. The house is different and is more spacious with a very tall ceiling. (The lights they use to scare me shine on the ceiling and on the top of the walls through windows up by the ceiling.)

While I dream this, I yell in my sleep, bark three times, and wake up my partner. (The barking may have been to scare off the bandits.)

This was the night after receiving a Vortex Healing session for my kidneys. They sometimes feel a bit cold, dry and shriveled up energetically, perhaps because of an Epstein-Barr infection (mono and then CFS) that lasted more than thirty years before I had the Vortex Healing tools to remove the virus. We both noticed that a lot of fear also seemed to release from the kidneys during and after the healing.

I slept very deeply and long, for almost twelve hours. I also slept restlessly with many dreams that all felt a bit foreign. It felt like my system was releasing a lot, probably from the kidney-healing just prior to falling asleep.

In the dream, I know what’s happening, is not very scared, and yell at the bandits that I know what they are doing and it won’t work. Also, my parents in the dream are whole and emotionally healthy. (In waking life, although they both are very kind and supportive they have some issues as we all do.)

It may be that fears that used to seem very real to me now don’t because I see through them. It may also be that I have healed – to some extent – my inner images of my parents. I have worked on parental issues in different ways, including through dialogue with them where I visualize all of us as whole, healthy, wise, and kind.

Dream: Working with Trump

 

I am the educational minister for Trump. He likes me. And I have sympathy for him even as I disagree with much of what he says and does. I am free to do as little or as much as I want.

This dream went on for a while and continued even after I woke up briefly. I did have a genuine sympathy for him in the dream and I noticed it felt peaceful, even if my views on what he says and does is the same in the dream as it is in my waking life. When I briefly woke up, I was aware that this was – in a sense – a shadow dream. It is a dream about befriending the shadow.

Trump does – to some extent – represent shadow material for me. I sometimes see things in him I don’t admit to in myself, at least in the moment. And this dream was a reminder that getting to know someone is often to understand and find sympathy for them even if we still may not agree with much of what they say or do.

Why educational minister? Perhaps because it’s a little less contentious than some other positions so it allowed me to get to know him in a more peaceful setting. And perhaps because this dream is an education of myself.

Dream: Slight sense of hopelessness

 

I am in Oslo with a group of friends, and there are many activities – buying a house, swimming, art and so on. Through it all, I notice a slight sense of hopelessness or even mild depression. It’s as if the future is a fog, and I don’t have the zest I like to have.

This is close to the top of my list of issues to explore. A slight sense of hopelessness. A mild depression. A lack of zest.

It’s understandable considering my health challenges, the old traumas that surfaced over the last years, and leaving my inner guidance on a major life decision some years before that. And yet, it’s an issue that can be explored and it’s good to do just that.

When I say explore, I mean different things: Get to know, find some origins of (in my timeline and in terms of underlying issues), befriend, allow, change my relationship to, explore my fears around, and – over time – invite to heal.

I may have had this dream this morning since I have hoped to work on this slight background depression and lack of zest this weekend, including receiving a Vortex Healing session on its divine choice points (the divine decisions for this part of the divine – me – to have this experience for a while).

The dream was quite beautiful, rich, and interesting, and with this slight cloud of listlessness over my experience. It highlights an aspect of my daily life experience these days.

Own inquiry: The witch

 

Inquiry on a recurrent childhood dream. In the dream, I fall through darkness, look down, and see a witch grinning up at me while stirring a cauldron. I am about to fall into the cauldron.

Look at the image of the witch grinning up at you, stirring the cauldron. Look at the lines, colors, textures.

What happens? I feel sensations in the chest, throat, face. Not very strong.

Feel the sensations. Rest with them.

What do you notice? A contraction in the solar plexus area and also more in the middle of the belly.

Feel those sensations too. Rest with all of them.

What do you notice? I see an image of my mother when I was little. (The age when I had the dreams.) I see how she (sometimes) relates to my father. With contempt.

Is it an image? Several images? Two images, one of her, and one of her relating to him with contempt.

Look at both images, side by side. The lines, colors, textures, background. The space they are within.

What do you notice? I notice that in the image where she relates to my father with contempt, I see her as a witch.

Listen to the words “my mother is a witch”. What happens? I feel sensations all over the body. A heaviness. Pressure. Sadness. Grief. Fear.

Feel the sensations.

Do you notice anything? Yes, I feel trapped. I see a dark image and feel trapped within it.

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Dream: Taking over a cabin

 

My parents, my brother, my partner and I go to my uncle and aunt’s cabin. The path there is overgrown and the cabin is in disrepair after they both died some years ago. We have with us 30 or so little helpers. They are small, sturdy, and almost like a small army of dwarfs. When we go inside and see how run down the cabin is – and overrun with mice – I feel overhwhelmed and hopeless about cleaning it up. I look around, and within a very short time, the little helpers have cleaned it all up. I am very happily surprised and we all see what a large and beautiful building it is. The helpers have already made food and set the table beautifully, so we all sit down. I want to sit on the side of the table but am shown to the head of the table. I am the new owner of the cabin, and head of the family. I understand that the helpers are here for all of us but mostly to serve and help me, and they will be with us from now on.

This is a very interesting dream and I don’t quite know what to make of it right away. The path (nature) and the cabin probably represent my body. It is run down after several years of illness (chronic fatigue). And somehow, it’s a place that I and my partner and family are taking over, with the assistance of the small army of little helpers.

I worked on my system with Vortex Healing the night before, and there is a sense of having (very powerful) assistance in cleaning up and repairing my body. I worked on my etheric body before falling asleep (which felt deeply nourishing and brought my system more “in focus”), and the dwarves almost seemed more like elemental (?) beings. Whatever they represent, they are very helpful, do almost all of the work, and placed me as the head of the cabin and family.

Why is it a cabin? It is in nature. It’s part of nature in a very real sense. Although a cabin is a place to visit and stay for a while, this cabin is large, beautiful, has all that’s needed for a good life, and I can easily and well have a good life there. My sense is I’ll be there most of the year, especially after it’s so well cleaned up and repaired.

In waking life, my uncle and aunt died some years ago, they did have a cabin, and they both loved and were immersed in nature, and loved being at their cabin. The cabin in the dream is larger and more in the wilderness than their waking-life cabin is (which has been taken over by one of my cousins).

I see that Jung saw dwarfs as representing natural wisdom, and that’s how they seemed in the dream. Primal wisdom and force, in this case wisely operating on their own in assisting and helping me.

I wonder if working on my etheric body before falling sleep is connected with the dwarfs. In the dream, the dwarfs repair, clean, and maintain the house. And my etheric body may play a similar role in cleaning, repairing, and maintaining my physical body and life. That feels true, but it also feels like the dwarfs in the dream represent primal wisdom and force in general and it’s role in maintaining my body and life.

The dwarfs in the dream were small and had shields, helmets, and leather clothing. The colors were mostly white and red. Perhaps representing purity in their service, and vitality and primal life force.

Later in the morning, I spend some time connecting with the dwarfs (and what they represent) and thanking them.

Dream: Planet Edible

 

I have my own publishing company and a series of books called Planet Edible. They are on a wide range of topics, and are a combination of written word and graphics, like a kind of graphic novels. The whole idea is to make important information “edible”. Ready to take in. Tasty. Digestible. Written and presented so people want to take it in, and so it becomes part of them. The books are especially aimed at younger people, but are for all ages. I have a great deal of energy, passion, and clarity, and the project is easy and moves fast. It’s successful and works as it says on the tin.

In the dream, I have a laser focus, confidence, passion, a knowing of what works, like I did before I got “off track” and also before the dark night. Although far richer and more earthy.

Dream: a female pixie

 

I am at a busy gathering of some sort. I lost my sleeping space to someone else and a young woman invites me to cuddle and sleep next to her. We have a very good connection and she is clearly interested in me. Early dawn, we get up and I talk with someone else for a while. I see her and she pretends to not see me. Someone says she decided I am not committed enough. I try to catch up with her but she disappears. (Literally, right in front of me, into some rocks and plants where there was no space for a human to disappear.)

She had a pixie character. She looked and felt like a pixie, and maybe she was, at least partly. Very close to nature and plants and flowers. A little skittish. Impulsive.

We slept on the side of a charming neighborhood street, on some flat rocks overgrown with plants. It’s the public side of a beautiful and very well kept garden. It has the feeling of wild nature but is also clearly planted and cared for. I understand it belongs to her or her family, and that she has been one of the ones taking care of it.

When we get up, there is still a gathering or festival and I talk with a random passers-by. I lose track of the young woman, and when she appears in the crowd again she pretends to not see or know me.

She had chosen me and wanted to connect with me, but left because I didn’t show enough interest. I was fascinated and committed, and I thought we had time. I hadn’t meant to act as if I took her for granted, but I understood she took it that way.

Towards the end of the dream, I realized the location is Eugene, Oregon, where I lived for about ten years. It all – the place, people – had a permaculture and community-oriented feel to it. In the dream, it all also had a very magical and nature-oriented feel to it.

I had read VH notes about the sister realm (nature, fairies, etc.) the night before, and I also started re-watching Hellboy 2.

What is the dream about? It may reflect a longing to some of the nature- and community-oriented atmosphere I experienced in Eugene. It was likely seeded by what I had read and watched the night before. And the theme – a woman interested in me who then decides I am not interested even if I am – is one that has happened in my own life more than once.

The main atmosphere in the dream was a beautiful sense of the magic of nature, and the young woman was perhaps half a pixie (or elf, fairy), or a nature spirit, or at least one very close to and intimate with nature. This is a part of me I would like to connect with more, and one that is perhaps a little skittish. She requires more steady attention and demonstrated commitment than I gave her.

Dream: going with the Tibetan to find a treasure that will change all

 

I am at a royal country home or retreat. A group of family and friends are there, and the British queen comes by. We are waiting for a Tibetan man, and he arrives after having been on a long journey abroad. He continues on his journey almost immediately, and there is a choice for me to come with him or not. I run after him, and when I catch up with him, he sits down and says thank God you decided to come, I had to kill four [?] people in order to get here. He shows me the bloody remains of two he had to kill. He is going on the final leg of a journey to find something that will change everything. Something that will transform my life and give deep healing, awakening, and embodiment.

This is similar to the dream I had earlier this morning. I am going with a Tibetan to find something, a kind of treasure that will change everything. I sense or know it will bring a profound transformation, healing, and awakening. A lot of sacrifices would have been in vain unless I decided to come with him on the last leg of the journey.

The place we are in is a smaller and quite old home or retreat for the royal family, somewhere in the countryside in the UK. The Tibetan is someone who knows esoteric secrets and is also a man of action. He had to kill four (or a similar number) of people to finish the journey up until coming to this place. I got the impression they were (like?) WW2 Nazis. Everything had the feeling of an Indiana Jones movie, or one of the older fantastic tales about Tibet (Tintin in Tibet, Lobsang Rampa).

There has been a lot of losses, challenges, and sacrifices in my life, and – in a sense – it has been “wasted” unless I use it all for healing, awakening, and transformation. (Although nothing is “wasted”.) In both dreams this morning, I am slightly outside the center of actions which reflects a pattern in me of feeling others have “got it” and not me. And in both dreams, I am at the same time engaged and doing what’s required to get the treasure.