When I was 16 and had the initial opening or awakening, all was recognized as Spirit and Love. The divine woke up to itself as everything without exception, and as consciousness, love, and the void it all also is. This was quite strong for several years.
At the same time, I knew that there was still a lot of healing needed for my human self and that the remaining unloved and unexamined parts of my human self created a pull for identification. I worked on this as well as I could, but it was difficult to access as deeply as I felt was necessary.
So what happened was a dark night of the soul. And that brought that material up to the surface without much filtering and without much opportunity to hold it back.
There are many ways to talk about this and many angles to approach it from. Each one with it’s own validity and value.
These parts want what I want, which is to be met in presence, kindness, patience, and understanding.
These parts do not yet know all as Spirit and love. They seek to know.
They seek to know their own deeper reality, which is presence, love, and even void.
Said another way, Spirit seeks to know itself as these parts of me. And to know these parts – the trauma, pain, sadness, anger, fear, grief – as presence, love, and void. As the divine and the play of the divine.
This allows for a deeper healing. And it allows for a deeper and more thorough alignment of more of my human self with reality. This is one of the ways an opening or awakening deepens.