The message of Christ was “that tenderness is justified under all circumstances… there is never reason to disconnect from the sweetness of your heart.”– Sebastian Blaksley, Choose Only Love V
Even the simplest pointer has a lot of complexity in it, and this one is no exception.
Tenderness is justified under all circumstances
When someone acts in a harmful way, they do so out of ignorance or in reaction to their own pain, and usually from a combination of the two. And they suffer from it, whether they notice or not.
And if a situation goes in a different direction than we wanted, it’s not personal. It’s life.
In both situations, it’s far more comfortable to keep a tender heart. It’s more healing for ourselves and sometimes others. And it tends to come with some receptivity and clarity so it’s easier to make better choices.
Why don’t we always live with a tender heart?
If our heart closes down, it’s typically for two related reasons.
We don’t see the situations very clearly, and our own hangups and wounds are triggered. We close our heart as a reaction to fear in us, and we react because this fear looks scary since it’s unloved and unexamined.
Tender heart and action
We can have a tender heart and also act decisively when that seems appropriate. One doesn’t exclude the other.
Supporting a tender heart
We can support a tender heart in many different ways. For instance, through heart-centered practices, insights & inquiry, healing how we relate to ourselves and the world, and inviting in healing for wounded parts of us.
Supporting a tender heart through healing
We won’t live with a tender heart in all circumstances.
When I notice that my heart is shutting down, I can ask myself some questions. How is it to meet myself with kindness? How is it to meet this pain in me with kindness?
When we notice our heart closing in a particular situation, we can use this to identify which wounds were triggered in us and, perhaps later, invite in healing for these.
Typically, when our heart closes, it’s a way for our system to protect itself. It comes from a wish to protect this human being, it’s ultimately innocent, and it’s a form of love. As mentioned above, it’s typically a reaction to fear in us that looks scary because it’s – so far – unloved and unexamined.
So this is another way to support a tender heart: inviting in healing for how we relate to ourselves, our own wounds, and the world. And invite healing for the wounds themselves.Read More