The persistence of zombies

 

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I am pretty wiped out tonight, after some days of sleep deprivation and now with the onset of a cold or something similar.

Walking around the house, I noticed I felt like a zombie, and got curious about how it is to be a zombie. I walked around a little more as a zombie, amplifying the zombie qualities, and found that it was quite pleasant.

I was at a very deep place, deeply relaxed and eqanimious, moving around slowly and persistently. Things get done, in a very relaxed way, slowly and deliberately.

These are all qualities I would like to access more in my life, especially in social and work situations. The deeply relaxed and the deliberate unhurried persistence.

Late afternoon, when I realized I would probably choose to miss the local Jung potluck because of it, I saw the zombie qualities partly as an enemy. It was a problem, a disturbance, something unfortunate happening thwarting my plans.

Then I found some more peace with it, taking it as an opportunity to relax in front of the fireplace with my partner, with some good food and a movie.

And now, I see the deeper gifts in it, of allowing me to feel into and live these zombie qualities tonight, and then bringing it – at times – more into my life in the future in different ways.

How is it to bring this deep relaxation into my daily life, even in the midst of activities? How is it to bring in this methodical persistence to some of my daily activities? (And maybe especially those my personality is not too exited about?)

The transcendent qualities of endarkenment

 

When I describe some of the qualities of endarkenment, it is often with a sense of unease knowing that they can be interpreted as conventional qualities within form and dependent on something particular in form, while they really are transcendent qualities, independent of yet also arising as any form.

There is a sense of holding, but it is a holding that goes beyond and embraces conventional holding and not holding. There is a sense of luminous blackness, but it is a luminous blackness that goes beyond and embraces (can be found within and as, but is not limited to) physical light and darkness. There is a sense of deep nurturing and fullness, but it is a nurturing and fullness that is independent of – yet in and as – anything happening in form. It is a womb, but a womb that allows everything its freedom to be as it is. It is selfless, yet a selflessness that arises within, as, and allows individuals and even a sense of a separate I. It heals the emotional level, yet allows emotions to be exactly as they are, only inviting them to reorganize within this new context.

It is all of these and other qualities, free from any particulars of form, and yet arising within and as all form, as they already are.