How we frame

 

After deciding to work on it more intentionally, a particular issue has been more on the surface recently.

The most basic way of framing it is as something I can explore, rest with, and find healing for. I can relate to it more intentionally, notice what’s there, do Vortex Healing on it, and perhaps do some simple inquiry.

In the slightly bigger picture, I can frame it as something that comes up to be seen, felt, explored, and healed. It’s from my past – whether this life, ancestral, or from past lives – and it’s now coming up with an invitation for it to be met with kindness, rested with, allowed as is, and possibly for it to heal and release.

It can be helpful to frame it as similar to a creature – a being – that comes and wants what we all want: To be seen, allowed, respected, and treated with kindness. And then possibly be met with a gentle curiosity, and – if it wishes – find healing and release from its suffering.

This way of framing is not “true” or not. It’s just a pragmatic way of relating to what comes up. It helps me relate to it more intentionally, to release some identification as it, and it feels more comfortable to me than most other ways of relating to it (for instance struggling with it or identifying as it).

Note: What’s been coming up has to do with the collapse that happened when I got CFS a few years back. It was a collapse at all levels, and smaller versions of it happen if I haven’t had enough food combined with some disappointment (only lasting the same day). It comes with a sense of hopelessness and is connected to a victim identity. It feels old and was buried for a long time but is now up so it can be met with kindness and perhaps find healing.

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How we frame a situation

 

How we frame a situation makes a big difference. It’s not about ignoring important aspects of a situation or pretending it’s something it’s not. It’s about framing our story about it – and we always have a story about it – in a way that makes sense, is real, and is helpful to us.

The other day, I talked with a friend of mine about a recent frustration in my life. (Buying a used phone through an apparently reputable website, having to send it back since it was locked to an Apple ID and the seller couldn’t help me unlock it, and now the seller is refusing to refund the money and says I am scamming him….!) She talked about dark forces trying to get us off balance and hold us back. To me, that does not seem helpful. That’s a story that (a) puts the power out there somewhere, (b) into something nebulous, and (c) can easily fuel fear. Also, I have no idea whether it’s accurate or not.

A story that makes more sense to me is that when challenging things happen, it’s life showing me what’s left. The situation shows me what’s left in me to see, feel, heal, find kindness towards. This situation has helped me meet wounds in me from childhood, created by similar experiences (taken advantage of, innocently accused) and it’s an invitation for that wound to be seen, felt, loved, and healed.

I did also ask life to show me what’s left a few years ago, and that’s what’s happening. (Life shows us what’s left anyway, for all of us, but it seems to have intensified for me after that particular “dangerous prayer”.)

Another way to see it is that life is kind. Life shows me what’s left. I would perhaps have chosen something easier, but life is kinder to me than that.

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Reframing as bypassing

 

Reframing is a very good first step. It helps us see ourselves, our situation, life, and the world, in a more helpful way.

Reframing can also be used to bypass. Instead of directly meeting our painful images, words, and sensations, we go to our reframing interpretation for safety.

It’s good to notice.

If all we want is reorganizing our conscious view, then reframing may appear sufficient. If we want to be more thorough, then reframing is a first step and directly meeting our experience is the next.