Behind anger is fear, behind fear is caring, and behind caring is love

 

This is something that becomes clearer over time, especially through exploring specific issues through inquiry.

Behind anger, sadness, and compulsions is fear. Behind fear is caring. And behind that caring is love.

Said more succinctly:

Behind identifications (beliefs, velcro) is fear, and behind that fear is caring and love.

The pitfall in saying to so simply and succinctly is that the mind thinks it gets it and that such a superficial and intellectual understanding is sufficient. The benefit is that it can serve as a question to explore, and a guide when we work on ourselves and clients.

A few more details:

Identifications (holding a thought as true) is what creates stressful experiences such as struggle with anger, sadness, and compulsions. (Anger, sadness etc. can also just be here without any struggle.)

Fear is what holds identifications in place. It may be what created the identification in the first place, and it’s often what comes up when the mind considers not having that identification.

Behind fear is a deep caring. A caring for oneself and others. And caring is just another word for love.

When we see the behind all this is love, there is less of a struggle with it. And less struggle means a bit more space around it, which helps soften and release the identifications in and relating to it.

(more…)

Jeff Foster: You are the home for sadness, this ancient and supremely intelligent energy

 

If you feel sad, just feel sad.

Make room for sadness, today.
Soften around it.
Don’t reject it, numb it.
No need to spin a drama around it either.

Breathe into the heart of sadness.
Drench the belly, heart, throat and head with oxygen.
Let the sensations of sadness tingle, flutter, pulsate and throb.
Let sadness be alive, in this moment.
Know it will pass.
Know it is never a mistake.

You are not sad, you are not ‘the sad one’, you are the home for sadness, this ancient and supremely intelligent energy. You are the container, never the contained, never identified, never at war with feeling.

Be the embrace of sadness, its sanctuary, its great Invitation.

– Jeff Foster

Jeff Foster: Room for sadness

 

Your sadness doesn’t say, “Please fix me, heal me, or release me”. It doesn’t say, “Please get rid of me, numb yourself to me, pretend I’m not here”. It certainly doesn’t say, “Please get enlightened so I can die!”.

Sadness does not come to punish you, or reveal to you what a ‘spiritual failure’ you are. Sadness is not a sign that you are unevolved or far from healing, awakening, enlightenment, even peace. The presence of sadness is not an indication that you’ve done something wrong.

Sadness only whispers, “May I come in? I am tired, I long for rest”.

And you reply, “But sadness, I don’t know how to allow you in!”

And sadness replies, “It’s okay. You don’t need to know. I’m already in”.

And we bow to sadness then, we recognise how it’s already allowed in, how there’s enough room in us for sadness, how we are not ‘the sad one’, not contained within sadness, but the room for sadness, its space, its home, its salvation, its loving embrace; not as a goal, but as our nature – consciousness itself, already free.

Don’t heal yourself from sadness; let sadness heal you. Let it show you the way when you have forgotten. Let it reveal to you the mysteries of love. Let it remind you of your vast heart, your refusal to split off from any part of your ancient Self, that bigger Happiness you danced when you were young.

– Jeff Foster

Heart-felt being with

 

I just finished a bodywork intensive, and will write down a few things that came up over the last few days. One of the themes lately has been heart-felt seeing of what comes up at the human level, or a heart-felt being with. This is a being-with where the three centers are all included… the head (seeing), the belly (felt-sense) and the heart (loving, empathy).

Yesterday and today, a sadness came up, and if I try to push it away it becomes an “other” that is unpleasant and uncomfortable, an apparent hindrance. But if there is a heart-felt being with it, it is revealed as a sweet tenderness, which is also experienced as a nurturing fullness. From being an unwanted and uncomfortable distraction (when pushed away) it becomes a sweet nurturing supporting fullness.

Beyond this, I can of course explore the beliefs behind the sadness (my life should be different, in a specific way), tracking the process behind it, and so on.