All sins are attempts to fill voids

 

All sins are attempts to fill voids.
Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace

When I take a story as true, I sin. I sin by clouding over reality and what I am and everything is. I sin by acting as if the story is true, and placing myself (what I take myself to be) in opposition to life and reality. I sin through feeling I need to defend the story and its viewpoint and identity. And when I sin in the conventional ways, it comes from all of the above.

Why do I take a story as true? To fill a void.

I take a story as true to avoid recognizing that I really don’t know.

I take a story as true to avoid recognizing what I really am, which has no center, no location, no identity, no viewpoint, no ground. And yet allows for the play of all of these.

Sin?

 

What does it mean to sin? 

For me, I sin whenever I take a story as true. I pretend and act as if something is true that isn’t. And I hurt myself and others by doing so. 

At the same time, there is complete innocence there. When I take a story as true, I have to act as if it is true. I can’t help it. I can’t help taking it as true, as long as I do. I can acting on it as true, as long as I do. 

And in that innocence is already forgiveness. 

As always, this can look very ordinary, and easily co-exist with conventional views. I can take responsibility for my actions. I can notice when I attach to a story as true. I can inquire into my beliefs, finding what is more true for me. I can ask for forgiveness from others. I can find forgiveness for myself and through that, for others. 

It is all quite beautiful.

Two lines

 

arvo-p-rt-001

One line is my sins, and another line is forgiveness for these sins. Mostly the music has two vocies. One is more complicated and subjective, but another is very simple, clear, and objective.
– Arvo Pärt, interviewed by Björk

A beautiful description of who and what we are. As who we are, this human self, we are complicated and subjective. We are conditioned in a particular way, experience life through our own set of filters. As what we are, we are simple, clear, objective. Either one is beautiful, and the real beauty comes from both together, from one existing within the context of the other. 

As a human self, I sin. I make mistakes. I am confused. I am not aware of the impact of my actions in the world. 

As what I am, there is already forgiveness. 

And all of that is reflected in Arvo Pärt’s music, in a beautiful way.