During the initial awakening phase – the first ten years or so – it was easy, and in a sense inevitable, to…..
(a) Give it all over to the divine, to God, Christ: my whole life, any hangups, confusion, fears, identifications, and the present, past, future. This is really just setting an intention to shift the center of gravity from identification to that which is already not identified, from being caught in a very human confusion to shift into presence, love, awakeness.
(b) Follow my inner guidance, the quiet inner voice. This was strong, and I typically followed it in small and larger things.
(c) Trust in life, in Spirit, that what happens – however thoughts may label it – is the very best that possibly could happen.
(d) Being a good steward of my life. I studied and worked very conscientiously, made a plan for my life, lived (mostly) in integrity, and so on.
Then, during the dark night of the soul, these went away. It all fell away and apart.
Now, there is an invitation to find back to it again, perhaps in a slightly different context. Less as a superman and more as an ordinary human being.
There may be another difference. Then, I said a very sincere “dangerous” prayer: Let me awaken fully, and live it fully in this life, no matter what it will cost. And now, I wish for a more gentle and kind process, coming from a very ordinary kindness towards myself and those around me. And I also give that wish over to the divine.