A simple process

 

It’s early morning.

I lie in bed with my eyes closed.

A world of images

Images of space

I notice my images – of the body, the room, the building, the area outside of the building, the city, the continent, the Earth, the solar system, the galaxy, the universe.

It’s all images. I cannot find it outside of images.

I notice sensations in my body, and how my images adjust to fit these.

Images of time

I notice images of this coming day – having breakfast, going for a walk, meditation, swimming in the afternoon.

I notice images of yesterday – watching a film, working on some photos, eating, going shopping.

I notice images of the coming weeks, my life in the future.

I notice images of the preceding weeks, months, years, decades, my past.

I notice I cannot find any of this outside of these images.

Images of space & time

I notice that my images of things in space is placed on an image of space itself.

I notice how my images of episodes in time is placed on an image of time itself, and of an image of future, past and present.

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Always only scratching the surface

 

One of the beautiful things about life is that I always only scratch the surface. The unfolding never ends.

This was clear to me even in the initial awakening. It was “complete” in the sense of a Ground awakening, with an absence of I-Other. And it was immensely full since it was combined with a soul level awakening. But there was also a clear recognition that there was infinitely further to go. Within Ground awake to itself, its play continues to unfold in always new ways.

And if the awakening to what we are is not as clear or stable as it can be, then that one too continues to unfold – until the center drops out, and there is not even a hint of a separate I here anymore, just this human self and everything else living its own life.

In terms of the unfolding of the content – of the play of form – there is always further to go in terms of healing and maturing of this human self, and skillful means in terms of how it lives in the world. And there is always further to go in terms of soul levels awakenings and how these allow the human self to reorganize and realign. (Just in my limited experience, there has been a great deal of facets here – yang luminosity, yin luminous darkness, alive infinitely loving and insightful presence, and much more.)

So even in the midst of an awakening – no matter how “complete” or “full” it seems – there is always further to go. It is always only scratching the surface. And it is a beautiful process.

Explorations and goals

 

Many of the spiritual traditions are heavily goal oriented. There is a shorter term goal of living a life that works better for oneself and others, in terms of reducing suffering. And a longer term and over arching goal of Ground awakening to itself, at least in some parts of the traditions.

There is nothing wrong in this, but it is also only part of the picture, and can create some problems if taken as all there is to it.

For me, it is much more of an exploration process. I am curious about this life and existence in general, and am happy to explore whatever comes up and wherever life takes me. And a part of that wider terrain, which is formed as we go along, is Ground awakening to itself. But it is only one small part of the terrain, and not by any means any “goal” or end point. At most, it is something that happens in glimpses, and then as a more stable shift, and all the other explorations happens – in a conventional view – before and after it, and always within and as what awakens to itself or not.

Ground awakening to itself is not inherently better or more desirable than Ground not noticing itself. The only difference is that in one there is clarity and freedom from suffering, and in the other there is confusion and suffering, so when there is an identification with a separate self, there is naturally a desire for Ground to awaken to itself.

And eventually, when this confusion is thoroughly (or not so thoroughly) explored, when aspects of that terrain is familiar, there is a point where Ground cannot help but to awaken to itself. The sense of a separate self and its identities are so clearly seen as coming just from a thought, from imagination, that it loses any grip. And right there, Ground notices itself as inherently free from anything imagined.

Existence, universe, life, this always evolving form aspect of God, seeks (or, more accurately, moves in the direction of) diversity. And so too in awakening.

If we follow a set path, it is likely to work, at least to some extent. It has many benefits. And although it is a well trodden path, what is brought to it is always somewhat unique and different, so it will have its own flavor.

But why not allow this process, unfolding here now, to lead us? To have an open curiosity, about where this path goes? It is always unique anyway, a unique expression of life and God, so why not allow it to be unique, to willingly allow it to add to the diversity of existence.

It does anyway, so we may as well embrace it, although when there is resistance to it, trying to fit into a tradition and set path, that is also part of its unique flavor.

For me, all of this leads me to embrace both ends of the polarity.

I follow traditional practices, because they work. But I am also very much aware of what can come out of too much of a goal focus… more clashes between stories of what is and should be, more stress, more struggle, and so on. There can also be too much of an expectation of the outcome of practices, which creates, in another way, resistance to what is and struggles with the process and where it wants to go.

But I also follow a more open exploration… I am willing to try anything that comes up, when it comes up for me to try it, like for instance diksha. And I engage in more open inquiries as well, where I have no idea where it will go, such as in Process Work and journeying or tracking. If there is any expectation, it may be surprise over what comes up. Sometimes, it is entirely new dimensions of existence beyond what my thoughts thought was possible.

So there is a more free exploration of any aspect of the always changing and evolving terrain. And as part of this, there is an exploration of what is so clearly mapped out by the many traditions, such as realized selflessness.

God, in its form aspect, evolves in an infinitely rich way. So why not consciously join the process? We don’t need to abandon the traditions, we only need receptivity to and curiosity for a terrain beyond them. This terrain includes what is covered by each of the other traditions, goes beyond this, and is also always unfolding and evolving in new ways.