I lived in an intentional community with very conscious and interesting people.

In one of the larger rooms at one of the higher levels, they had a space for clothing exchange. I wanted to experience how it is to be a woman, in addition to being a man, so I took pants that had belonged to one of the women in the community, went into a large bathroom, and somehow knew how to put on the lower half of a woman’s body onto my own. My upper body was the same, but merged into a woman’s body at the midsection. I experienced how it is to be woman and man at the same time, integrated, whole, all levels.

At the same time, I did not want others to see it, because I would not know what to say when they asked how I did it. I knew how to do it, but could not explain it very well.


The community was similar to Walnut Street Co-op, although there were more and more diverse people. The people were very consious and integrated, and the community had an European feel. I felt very much at home and supported there.

The house was large, with several levels, and tall and spacious rooms. It was very charming and atmospheric.

There was a strong wish to experience a more whole and integrated way of being, including being both woman and man at the same time. Integrated and whole.

And the wish for others to not see it, and not ask me how I did it, is similar to how I experience it with healing. I know how to do it, but I cannot explain it. And I would rather do it without people knowing about it – so they don’t attribute it to this personality, don’t see this personality as anything special, and don’t ask me how I am doing it. This in itself is of course one of the hangups of this personality…!

I would feel very comfortable, both with having a woman’s lower body and do healing, if it was ordinary in the community. If people didn’t see it as anything special. This is another reason why I have such a strong need to live in a spiritual community, such as Kanzeon, Zen River in Holland, and Vekstsenteret in Denmark.

This experience related to healing probably came up as I talked with someone who’s cat I had done healing for last week, and she was greatly improved/healed.

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