Fixing vs. Relaxing Into


When we operate from small mind, we tend to try to “fix”.

We want to improve both the inner and the outer situation, and many desireable effects may come from this. We may reduce suffering both for ourselves and others.

At some point, we see that for all its benefits, it does not quite work as well as we would like. It does not guarantee freedom from suffering. The world is far too complex and unpredictable. We may control and fix as much as any human being is capable of, and there are still no guarantees.


We may discover an alternative to trying to fix the inner world (personality) and the outer world (our external situation). And this alternative is to focus on how we relate to the inner and outer world. While we cannot perfect the personality or our outer situation, we do have more control of how we relate to these unpredictable creatures. We can learn techniques so we see whatever arises as a gift, we can allow them to deepen our gratitude, humility and compassion. And this works quite well – for a while.

At some point, there is a sense that even this is not quite enough. Something is still missing. There is still an attempt to control, to fix in a less obvious way.

We are still operating from a sense of separation. And something in us knows that there really is no separation.

Relaxing Into

At this point, we realize that we can allow ourselves to relax and melt into our experiences.

There is awareness, and there is the unfolding phenomena of the inner/outer world, and they are a fluid and seamless whole. There is spacious awareness, within which the inner/outer phenomena unfold. There is space and overview, and there is no separation.

And although it is no longer the focus, we discover that this too is a truly transformative practice – and even more deeply so than many (any?) we discovered earlier.

Even here, there may be a sense of something being not quite complete. We can always deepen our experience of transdual awareness, and how how we live it through this personality and in this world.


It seems that many of the spiritual traditions of the world offers techniques and tools for each of these approaches. There are different medicines for different people, and for the same person at different times – depending on where they are at.

Buddhism offers tools for relating and for relaxing into experiences, as do Breema and many other traditions.

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