Waking and finding myself as pure awareness

There was a very active thunderstorm here last night, which is quite unusual in this valley. I woke up, and for a while was aware of myself only as spacious awareness. It was the drop waking up, not fully aware of being the ocean (but not being unaware of it either), and not quite connected to the small self.

For a while, there was just the perception of the room and the lightning and thunder – without any labels and associations. Without knowing which small self I – as spacious awareness – was attached to, if it was male or female, or even which species it was, and also not knowing which planet or universe this was. It lasted for a while, enough for several lightning strikes.

It is very intriguing – all the ways the mind can function, and the freedom in it. Big Mind is in some ways less of a mystery to me, both when it is centered on a small self and when it does not have a center. But this, how it can become a local awareness – whether resting in its nature as in this experience or acting through a personality as right now – that is more mysterious.

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