Seeking clarity brings up confusion. I experience this in smaller – and sometimes more obvious – ways, daily.
I temporarily forget myself as space. I identify myself as clarity, and makes confusion into an “it”. And this “it” comes up and wants my attention. It says “hey, did you forget that I am you as well?”. I come back to myself as space, and allow both to be there – as me and as they arise in the present.
And I see that this applies to any polarity. When I exclusively identify with one end of the polarity, I make the other into an “it”, and it comes back at me wanting my attention. When I return to myself as space, I become one or both or none as they arise (or not) in the present.
Seeking light, I become the victim of darkness. Seeking clarity, confusion comes up to haunt me. Seeking compassion, coldness takes over. Seeking my path, I am forced into the wilderness. Seeking health, illness becomes my constant enemy. Seeking connection, I create lack of connection. Seeking acceptance, I do it with no acceptance.
In both cases, I am both ends of the polarity. In one case, I am identified with one and the other haunts me as an “it”. In the other case, I recognize myself as space & whatever arises in the present – whether it is one, both or none of the qualities.