Pre/Trans etc.

I saw Life and Death of Peter Sellers last night, and it brought up a few things about knowing who you are etc.

Apparently, he himself experienced a “not knowing” about his human self – of just being a vessel for the different characters he played. From the movie, it seemed that he had an idea of what a human self should look like, and in his case it was too fluid to quite fit the idea, which brought up frustration for him. It may also be that he never quite got comfortable taking his human self seriously, such as emotions etc., and experienced being cut off from these parts of this world.

In any case, this is a “not knowing” on a quite different level than finding oneself as headless, as capacity for the world and as the world.

First, we are capacity for the world. Then we find ourselves – more or less comfortably – as a human being. And then we can find ourselves as capacity for the world (for ourselves), and a human being as well (for others).

When there is “not knowing” during the second phase, it is often quite uncomfortable – and rightly so as this is where we get to know ourselves as human beings in the world.

When there is not knowing during the third phase, it is the most enjoyable thing in the world.

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