What Is

In my daily life these days, there is a wonderful and rich fluidity.

There is “no I” (the default), where there only is what is. There is no “I” to find anywhere. Just what is, as it is. Trees, birds, clouds, cool breeze, walking, talking, words, thoughts, emotions, all just as it is – coming and going as guests.

And sometimes there is more of an “I”, although not as this human self. The “I” typically comes up around a reaction in this human self, some habitual pattern (emotional/thought/behavior) which is triggered by something. So “I” becomes this pattern and the perceived trigger becomes “other”. But this does not last very long. It is too clear how this is all a construct. It is contrived, and takes too much energy and creates confusion and suffering as well. It just dissolves in what is.

There is also the noticing of how the word “I” does not have any meaning, as there is nothing it can refer to, although I use it all the time just for convenience sake. That is fine too. It makes everything easier and more convenient in communicating and writing.

Other things I notice:

My human self is experienced as just clear space. At the most, it is a completely transparent outline within the larger whole, mostly for functional reasons. What for the human self is “inner” and “outer” are both part of the same. There are sensations, emotions and thoughts coming and going, just as the “outer” phenomena comes and go. It is all just part of the same.

All phenomena occur within me – this human self and everything else. I can see how others see me as an object in the world, but my experience is being the fluidity of what occurs.

And as I mentioned, any experiences come and go. Sadness, bliss, habitual patterns triggered etc. And there is no need to attach to any of it.

It seems completely unremarkable. It is just what is. In a way, I can see how identifying only as a human self, as an object in the world, can be seen as a remarkable achievement, but this is only what is – as it is. Nothing special. And I can see the truth in the reverse perspective as well.

I can move fluidly among any and all perspectives, as they come up in this or other human selves. I can see how those perspectives each can seem real and true, how they each make up a larger and more comprehensive picture, and how they each are just thoughts. When they are seen as just thoughts, they can come and go on their own. When they are taken more seriously, as gospel truth, they become a tool for creating confusion and suffering for oneself.

I am as fully engaged as ever, and don’t appear to behave any differently to others. I can appear grumpy sometimes, spaced out other times, clear at times, fuzzy other times. And these are all passing through – within this natural crystal clarity of what is. The content can be fuzzy and murky, especially when I eat something that this human self has a physcial/energetic reaction to, but the context is always and effortlessly crystal clarity.

It is as if the space itself has a tremendous brilliance and clarity, as a sharp diamond, and that is what is too. Even when what is within this space is murky, this space is a diamond. And the physical space itself is a great help in gently shifting into noticing this. For instance, something as simple as sounds in the distance brings the diamond quality of the space alive.

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