Big Dreams

Reading Joel’s story, where dreams figure prominently, reminds me of a couple of Big Dreams early on in my own process.

Apollo

I am with my tai chi teacher and a female friend I have a strong soul connection with. There is a wreath hung on a pole at some distance from us. My tai chi teacher lifts a bow and shoots an arrow through the wreath. She hands me the bow, smiles, and says it is my turn. I initially doubt I can do it, but then know I will shoot the arrow through as she had. My friend says I am blessed by Apollo, and I know she is blessed by Aphrodite.

This dream occurred when I was 19 or 20 years old, a couple of years into the F7-F9 awakening (in Ken Wilber’s framework). My only teacher at the time was my tai chi teacher, a woman I admired tremendously – especially for her dedication to the path and her living insights and realizations. My friend was a woman 7 years older than me who I met in the tai chi class. She turned out to be a tremendously important mentor for me, and we had a very strong and deep soul connection. Apollo is the Greek god of the sun. Looking back, I can see all the uncertainty I experienced at the time, moving in uncharted waters and with almost my only guidance from the process itself – which was strong enough to lead the way.

I didn’t shoot the arrow through in the dream, but knew I would. I am not sure if it is shot through yet, probably not quite. Maybe it is in mid-air. Maybe it won’t land until I die.

The Gold Fish

I am in a courtyard in a very old European brick building. It is in an ancient city, and the courtyard is one of a few inside of a city block. The lower part of the courtyard is filled with water, and a large golden fish is swimming in the murky water. There are some others around the edges, but I am the only one going into the water. I know I have to touch the fish. I swim out to it.

This dream occurred a few months after the previous one. The gold fish may represent individuation (centaur level) and also further awakenings. The image of the golden fish in the murky water enclosed by old brick buildings is similar to the lotus blossom emerging from the mud. I lived in an old brick building just like this one when I had the dream, in a spacious loft six levels up.

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