Two of the characteristics that still typically triggers something in me are certain expressions of cynicism and arrogance.
That I have any characteristic in me (at both my human level and as Big Mind) is a given, but how is something to explore. And if it triggers something in me when I see it in others, it means I have not quite come to terms with it in myself yet. More precisely, I believe in a thought about myself which is not quite accurate (which no thoughts are of course).
Cynicism and arrogance both comes from believing in thoughts. Cynicism says “I know this already” and prevents receptivity. And for me, arrogance says the same. It is a jaded attitude, coming from believing in abstractions and not finding myself as “not knowing” at either human or transpersonal levels.
It is a way that I protect myself from what is. It is an expression of defense, coming from the perception of having something to defend – an abstract identity, including some things and excluding something else.
And this attachment to an exclusive identity comes from a delusion, as everything is naturally and effortlessly included on both human and Big Mind levels. At my human level, I have every quality in me that I see out there – either as a potential or unfolded to various degrees. As Big Mind, I am inherently everything that is happening.
This writing so far is just a lot of additional abstractions, which I notice don’t have much effect – at least not in terms of a release. So…
He shouldn’t be so cynical (by brother)
- Yes (seems true, it presents receptivity and sincerity)
- No, just an opinion.
- Judgments (he should see all the problems with cynicism clearer, how he alienate himself through it). Superiority (I see it much clearer). Repulsion (want to get away from it, not be contaminated by its presence). Fear, of being sucked into it and contaminated by it. Images of myself poisoned by cynicism, and the alienation and loneliness it brings. Removing myself from him, mentally and physically.
- Clear. Present with him and what is. Opening heart. Recognition and compassion. Sincerity. Listening. Being here, present.
- (a) I shouldn’t be so cynical. (Yes, I am equally cynical, in a form that only appears different. I am jaded, attaching to abstractions instead of being present with and receptive to what is.)
(b) My thoughts shouldn’t be so cynical. (Yes, it is the belief in thoughts that creates cynicism. In thoughts that says “I know it already”, or “I know better”. “I don’t have to be receptive, I have nothing to learn here”. Jaded thoughts which brings isolation and stagnation.)
(c) He should be so cynical. (Yes, because he is. That too is a complete expression of Spirit, God, Big Mind, Buddha Mind – it is one of its many masks, a part of its dance.)
After going through this, I again see how just thinking about it does just about nothing in terms of resolving it. At its best, it can lead me into sincere inquiry, and it is the inquiry – sincerely explore what is there – that can offer release.